


Home Sweet Home

by tricia_16



Series: I Got You [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bottom Castiel, Bottom Dean, Complete, Dean Proposes, Dean isn't an alcoholic, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Mary Doesn't Come Back, Oral Sex, Rimming, Switching, Wing Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-10-01 04:24:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 84,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10180616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tricia_16/pseuds/tricia_16
Summary: Sam, Dean and Castiel return to the bunker after their vacation. Dean and Cas try to figure out how to live together, and hunt together. Dean learns to really let Cas in, and he works on letting go of some of the things he's blamed himself for his whole life. They find themselves working a case at a Fall Fair, and they run into a familiar face while there.// There's a whole lotta fluff, a whole lotta smut, and a whole lotta laughs in this story. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! //





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place directly after "I Got You." You should read that first [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9694946?view_full_work=true)

Pulling the 1967 Impala into the parking garage of the Men of Letters Bunker – or what Dean, Sam and Castiel now consider to be home – brings a sense of relief to Dean. They just spent seven relaxing, damn-near perfect days in Florida, but like Dorothy said, there’s no place like home.

He steps out of the Impala and allows himself one big stretch to loosen up his stiff back. He’s getting too old to drive more than a thousand miles a day. It’s times like these when Cas not needing any sleep really comes in handy, he thinks. If it wasn’t for Cas taking the overnight driving shift, they wouldn’t be anywhere close to home. Not to mention how _good_ he looked behind the wheel of Baby. Not something Dean’s likely to forget any time soon.

That thought has him turning towards his boyfriend and immediately reaching out to place his hand on the small of his back as Cas opens the trunk to get their stuff out. He never thought he was a touchy-feely kinda person until Cas. Now he can feel his skin almost itching with the need to touch him because it’s been _hours_ since he’s been able to, and even longer than that since he’s gotten anything other than a chaste kiss on the lips.

Castiel sends a smile over his shoulder to Dean, calmed just as much by the touch as Dean is. “Why don’t you hold this and I’ll get the heavy stuff?” he asks as he passes a square vase of azaleas surrounded by seashells to Dean.

“I can carry my own bags,” Dean says stubbornly.

“I know you can,” he says softly, “but I want to.”

Dean rolls his eyes for good measure but lets him carry them. He sees Sam quirk an eyebrow at him but for once that’s all the commentary he gets on that. Since Dean’s hands are the emptiest, he unlocks the door and they all walk into the bunker as the lights automatically switch on around them.

“Home, sweet home!” Dean calls out and Sam and Cas both smile.

Sam heads off to his room to unload his own stuff and Dean and Cas start walking the hallway to Dean’s room when Dean realizes that’s not where they should be going. Dean’s room was barely big enough for one (though because it was the first room of his own he’s had in as long as he can remember, he was fine with that) and it certainly isn’t big enough for both him and Cas. He goes there anyway to let Cas drop the bags before they scope out a new room for the two of them.

Once the bags hit the floor Dean turns to face Cas and it hits him like a ton of bricks that they’re _alone_ for the first time in almost an entire day. Either Cas comes to the realization at the same time Dean does or it comes to his attention based on the look on Dean’s face, but either way, they both take a step towards each other simultaneously and their lips meet in a soft but desperate tangle. Their mouths slide sweetly together for what feels like days before Dean trails his tongue along the seam of Cas’s lips and Cas opens to him with a sigh. Dean allows himself to sink into the kiss only for a minute before he ends it and rests his forehead against Cas’s.

His voice is quiet and deep with emotion when he says, “Missed you.”

Cas’s smile could light up the sky when he hears those words and replies, “Me, too.”

They hold each other for another minute, Cas rubbing Dean’s lower back and Dean’s fingers tracing soft circles on Cas’s hip bones. After Dean begins to feel more settled he winds his arm around Cas’s waist and says, “Let’s go pick us a room, angel!”

Sam and Dean’s rooms are currently only a few doors apart. Far enough apart that they each have their own privacy, but close enough so that either of them were able to more or less keep an eye on the other. Dean liked having to walk past Sam’s door every time he needed to use the bathroom at night because he would be able to check that Sam was sleeping, and if he wasn’t, he’d know to go drag him to bed to make sure he got some sleep. Now he finds himself thinking how terrible it would be to try to sneak past his room every time he needs to uh, freshen up, shall we say.

It’s that thought that drives him deeper into the bunker with Cas to try and find a room closer to another bathroom when they stumble upon what’s gotta be the master bedroom of the bunker. “Holy crap!” Dean exclaims when they open the door. This room is _huge_! Easily more than twice the size of Dean’s current room with a king size bed _and_ a fire place!

They both walk in to explore a little and Dean almost weeps with gratitude when he opens what he thought was a closet only to find a full bathroom!

“Jackpot!” Dean says.

“You didn’t know this was here?” Castiel asks.

“No idea!”

“Do you want this room, then?” Castiel checks.

“Well, yah!” Dean answers in an exaggerated voice. “Don’t you?”

“This is fine with me if that’s what you want,” Castiel answers. “It’s quite a distance from the kitchen and Sam’s room though. I don’t want him to feel like I took you away from him.”

“Most people actually move away from their family when they move in with somebody else,” Dean says. “So this is better than that. I don’t think Sam’ll care. He’ll probably appreciate being far enough away that he can’t hear us,” Dean says with a smirk.

Cas’s eyes light up at the prospect of testing that theory.

Dean thinks he can read the intent in Cas’s eyes but instead of going to him like a part of him really wants to, he finds himself taking out his phone and starting to make a list of the things they’ll need to actually move into this room. King size bed sheets, hand soap, toilet paper, and towels for the bathroom, Cas needs a pillow… then he remembers that Cas also needs pajamas, sweat pants, at least one pair of jeans, and a pair of sneakers. He’ll talk to Sam to see if they have enough money for a tv in here but he can’t see him saying no. He takes another look around the room but doesn’t notice anything else pop out at him. He feels a familiar twitch between his shoulder blades but tries to shake it off.

“We’re gonna need to go to WalMart or Target or somethin’ before we can stay here. We don’t have any sheets that will fit this bed,” Dean says grouchily. He’s tired of being on the road and the last thing he wants to do is go shopping for a bunch of shit. Well, no. The _last_ thing he wants to do is not sleep beside Cas tonight, and even with how wrapped up in one another they get, he knows they can’t fit in his single bed.

Castiel hears his tone but doesn’t understand why he’s upset. “You’re angry,” he says.

“I just walked in the damn door. I don’t want to go back out,” he sighs.

Castiel doesn’t know how to solve this particular problem for his mate. He knows he can’t go shopping on his own because even with a list, he doubts he will be able to find the correct items Dean needs. All he can do is cross the room towards Dean and draw him into his arms for a hug. He kisses him on the cheek and then holds him closely. He sends him a mixture of comfort and love through the bond, and finally feels Dean relax marginally in his arms.

“We don’t have to go today,” Castiel tries softly. “I can sit beside your bed and watch over you for tonight, and then we can go shopping tomorrow once you feel more rested.”

Dean breaks away from the hug to run his hands down Cas’s arms until he reaches his hands to hold on to, and shakes his head. “No, Cas. I already had to sleep in the car last night, and even though you were beside me it wasn’t the same. I don’t want to do that again tonight. Besides,” he adds, “I feel a bit better now, anyway. Thanks,” he says as he leans in for a quick kiss.

“I don’t like to see you unhappy,” Castiel says seriously.

“I’ll feel better once we’re back. Let’s go find Sam and see if he needs anything before we go,” Dean says. He still doesn’t take Cas’s hand as they wind their way back through the halls to eventually find Sam in the kitchen.

“What’s up?” he asks as he sees them walk in.

“We uh, found a new room. It has a King Size bed but no sheets, so we need to do a WalMart run. Need anything?” Dean fills him in.

“I was just in the fridge. We need basically everything food-wise,” he sighs. “I’ll come with you guys. You get the non-food stuff and I’ll grab the groceries,” he says. And then it occurs to him that since they’re a couple now maybe they don’t want him to go with them. “Unless you want to go alone.”

“To WalMart? I could care less, Sammy. Don’t be stupid,” he says.

Cas gives Sam a look and says, “Dean’s feeling irritated.”

“I noticed,” Sam says with a laugh. “Welcome to Real Dean instead of Vacation Dean,” he adds. “Let’s go, then.”

Dean scowls and then all three of them get back into the Impala.

Castiel sits in the back seat alone and realizes this is the first time since he and Dean have been together that he actually _feels_ alone in the back seat. He was worried about how the transition from vacation to real life would go for him and Dean, and it doesn’t seem like it’s off to a great start.

As it turns out, things don’t improve once they get to a store. Castiel is excited to shop for things of his own since he has never had any, but Dean’s bad mood doesn’t make for a very fun shopping trip. Castiel has a hard time finding a pair of jeans that fit him properly and he can tell Dean is irritated with how many pairs he’s had to try on. They’re either too big on his waist or too tight on his thighs, and he hasn’t been able to find a pair in between. For the first time in a really long time, he wishes Sam was here with him and Dean. Sam would be more helpful.

He finally decides not to buy a pair today since he isn’t able to find some that fit him the way he wants them to, and that only seems to make Dean _more_ irritated. To try and keep the peace, he lets Dean pick out the plain pajamas for him even though they aren’t the ones he would have picked himself, and he offers no comments on the towels Dean picks for the bathroom in their room. Castiel does, however, have a strong opinion on the pillow he wants and he will not allow Dean to bully him into picking one he doesn’t like.

Dean thinks it’s a testament to his patience and love for Cas that he hasn’t punched him yet. Dude has seriously laid his fluffy head on almost every fucking pillow in the store before he _finally_ chose one. Does he really have to try _every_ damn pillow on the store before he can choose? Thank God he isn’t this annoying all the time. 

They finally make it to the bedding aisle and Dean goes to reach for the first bed in a bag set he sees when Cas makes a sound of protest. He can feel his blood boil – _who cares_ what the stupid sheets look like! – as he barks, “Problem?”

Cas looks almost afraid to answer, but finally says, “Can we pick one together?”

“What’s wrong with this one?”

Cas shrugs in a Dean-like way and says, “It’s just not the one I would have chosen.”

Dean takes a breath. “Okay,” he says tightly as he shoves the bed in a bag back on the shelf and says, “which one would you choose?”

“I don’t know,” Cas says seriously and Dean has to close his eyes to collect himself.

“Then what’s wrong with the one I had!?” He is seriously running out of patience.

“Red isn’t a good colour for a bedroom. It increases adrenaline and raises blood pressure. It won’t help us to sleep any,” Cas explains. “Blue, on the other hand, helps to calm people and create a peaceful space.”

“What are you? Martha Stewart or something? Pick the blue one then, what does it matter?”

“I’ve never had a bed before!” Castiel spits angrily, finally running out of patience himself. “Forgive me if I’d like to try to ensure I have a place I’d actually like to sleep in, even though I don’t actually _require_ sleep at all and only do it to be with _you_!”

Dean’s taken a back for a minute before he says back just as mad, “Yah, well, don’t go doing me any favours if you’re just going to throw them in my face later. Thanks, but no thanks.”

Castiel is doing everything he can to fight the instinct to just fly away and let Dean deal with his bad mood on his own. That’s what he always used to do before. Dean would piss him off and he’d leave, wait until he’s cooled down, and come back later. Instead of just taking action this time though, he asks the question, “Would you like me to leave?”

He sees a flash of fear in Dean’s eyes for a second before his face goes cold again and he answers, “Whatever. Won’t be the first time or the last time, will it?”

That’s when it hits him. Dean is acting like this because he’s scared. He doesn’t know exactly what has him feeling scared, but considering this mood just started once they got back to the Bunker he would guess it likely has something to do with moving in together. Is it possible he’s as nervous and worried about how this is going to work between them as Castiel is himself?

Castiel deliberately softens his voice when he says, “The last time has already happened. I’m not going to leave, Dean.”

“Why’d you bring it up then?”

“I was trying to give you what you wanted. You’ve been trying to push me away ever since we walked into that bedroom,” Castiel says. "But I shouldn't have. I apologize.” Dean seems to soften some at those words so he continues, “I'm not ever going to leave you. I love you," he adds quietly. “Buying this stuff is making it much more real that we're essentially moving in together, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Dean lets out on a rough sigh. "You could say that." 

"It isn't necessary that we stay in the same room right away if you're not quite ready. I can stay in the new room and you can stay in your old room. And we can just sleep in the big bed in my room at night when you want to. Whatever makes this easier on you," Castiel offers. 

Dean blushes slightly knowing that Cas has correctly picked up on him freaking out about this. He rubs the back of his neck in a nervous gesture and says, "We're going to be in the same room every night anyway. I  _want_  to sleep beside you every night."

Castiel takes a tentative step towards him and places his hand on Dean's arm in a gesture of comfort. "I want that, too. Even when you're being a dick," Castiel adds and Dean can't help but laugh when he thinks about telling Cas only a few days ago to let him know when he's being a dick. 

He smiles and says, "I guess I  _was_  being a dick," and laughs again. "I'm sorry, angel. I don't know why, but I'm kinda freaking out here." 

"I understand," Castiel soothes him. "This is a big step."

"It's nothing compared to what we've already done."

"Thinking and saying forever is different than physically moving our stuff and making purchases together. I've never really had my own bedroom, so I'm not giving one up to share one with you. I understand why it could be difficult to do that, though." 

Cas saying a second time how he has never had anything of his own makes Dean feel like crap for being such a dick about this. He remembers Cas taking his time with every pillow and realizes now that Cas has never in his whole damn life had the opportunity to choose his own pillow and he could just smother himself with the one in the cart right now for being such a total asshole to him while he was picking one out. 

"Fuck, Cas," Dean says heavily, "I'm sorry, man. I've been so busy in my own head that I never even thought about this for you. I should've made this fun. It should've  _been_  fun to do this with you." He wants so badly to kiss him to apologize but he won't because they're in a store. "I can't re-do the pillow or the jeans, but can we start over with the blankets? Which blue ones do you like?"

Cas smiles at him, "I picked the colour blue. Is there any of these three that you like better than the other one?"

Dean looks at them and tries to think what Cas would like. There's one that seems to have a bit of a ripple-like design on it, and it kinda reminds him of the ocean. "What about this one? Kinda reminds me of the beach," he says.

Cas's face breaks into the first real smile since he's been in the store. "I like this one very much," he replies. "Should we get it?"

"I'm sold!" Dean says and adds it to the cart with their other stuff. "Come'ere," he says to Cas as he pulls him in towards his body. He doesn't care who sees them hug in WalMart. He needs to feel better and he needs to know Cas feels better, too. "Love you," he whispers. 

Castiel feels happiness spread throughout his body like a balm. "I love you, too," he replies. He feels brave enough to make a request. "Dean?"

"Yah?"

"Can we go back to the pajama section for a moment?"

"'Course," Dean says. 

They make their way back there and Cas's face lights up as he reaches for a blue pair of pajama pants with little cartoon ducks on them and adds them to the cart.

Dean can't help but laugh at him. "We had to come back here just for those? Really, Cas?"

Castiel is unashamed. "I like the ducks," he says simply and Dean can barely resist the urge to kiss him silly right in the pajama aisle. 

"You're adorable," he tells him, and he watches as Cas's smile grows even bigger. 

"Is that everything we need?" Castiel asks. 

"I just need one more thing. Why don't you go see if you can find Sam and see if he's almost done, and I'll meet you at the cash?"

"Okay," Cas says easily and he goes to do just that. 

He finds Sam adding milk and eggs into an already pretty full shopping cart. "Hey Cas!" Sam says. "Did you break up with Dean for being a jerk already?" 

"Of course not," Castiel answers with a smile. "I did almost fly away to leave you to deal with him for the rest of the day though," he adds and Sam laughs. "He's much better now. We have everything we need, so he asked me to come find you."

Just then Sam's phone dings with what Castiel knows is a text message. Sam lets out a laugh, types back to the messager, and then says, "Sorry. I'm just about done with groceries, too," and then he sees Cas's eyes catch on something on the shelf over his shoulder. He spins to look and then he gets it. "Strawberry milk?" he asks Cas.

Castiel shrugs his shoulders (and reminds Sam of his brother) and says, "I like strawberries."

Sam points to the quart of berries in the cart, "I remember! Thought we should let you try the healthy version. We can get the milk too though. I didn't know what else you liked other than pork rinds and sugar," Sam says with a laugh. 

"And vegetable pizza," Cas adds. 

"Got some vegetables in here, too. You'll never see Dean eat a vegetable so if you ever want to try any let me know," he offers. 

"Thank you, I will."

They walk towards the cash and Castiel is surprised to see Dean already there with a bag tucked under his arm trying to put more items on the belt. "I can take that for you if you want," Castiel offers.

"Nah, I got it. Can you put the rest of the stuff up there for me though?" Castiel does and then waits as Dean pays for their stuff and Sam pays for their groceries. They load everything up in the Impala (some stuff ends up on the seat beside Castiel because they bought quite a bit) and then they're finally back at the bunker, hopefully for a couple of days to settle in.

Castiel makes several trips from the car to the kitchen with the groceries and then goes back to get another load of stuff for their room. He almost passes Sam in the kitchen putting the groceries away but stops to help him. He doesn't know where anything goes, but he helps by taking it all out of the canvas bags and placing it on the counter. When he's done that he continues along the hallway towards his and Dean's new room with a bag full of towels and a small package of toilet paper.

When he walks through the doorway he sees Dean trying to get the new sheets on the bed by himself and gently puts his bags down to offer his help. "Do you require assistance?"

"Yah, that'd be great," Dean says. "Grab that corner over there," he gestures with his head so Castiel does as he asks. They get the fitted sheet on, then the flat sheet, and then when Castiel turns to grab the comforter he stops. 

There's a glass picture frame on the nightstand with a picture of him and Dean in it. He has never seen this picture before. He picks up the frame to get a better look. It's obviously taken from a distance, but he can see both his and Dean's silhouettes against the ocean with the sun in the sky behind them. They're holding hands and their backs are to the camera (which is how he didn't know his photo was being taken) but it’s evident there’s an ease between them in the photo. Castiel doesn't know if he's projecting, but they look  _happy_.

He finally turns back around to face Dean still holding the frame in his hands and says, "Where did you get this?"

"Sam took the picture. I know he takes a lot of them so I texted him while we were at the store and asked if he had any of us. He sent it to me, so I printed it at that booth in WalMart and grabbed this frame for it. I, uh, wanted you to have something to make this feel like it was your room too. Not just a room full of my stuff, ya know."

"I love it," Castiel says quietly. "Thank you."

"Got one for me too," he says and he pulls out a matching frame that must have been under the bed to show Cas. Dean is pleased when Cas bursts out laughing because that's what he wanted him to do. It's the picture from the night they went to the bar. Cas is sitting on Dean's lap and they both look ridiculous because they're way too big to try and fit like that in the back seat of a cab, but they’re a little drunk and really happy, and it shows.

"I like that one as well," Castiel says with a laugh. 

"Me too. We look totally stupid, but happy," Dean says as he smiles at it. He locks eyes with Cas and then places it on his nightstand beside the lamp there, and Cas does the same with his. "Let's finish up this bed," he says to get Cas back on task. They get the comforter on top, then Dean goes to get his pillow and an arm full of stuff from his room while Cas tries to get a pillow case on to his new pillow.

He still hasn't figured it out when Dean comes back from his room and he's starting to lose his patience. "This is impossible!" Castiel says. "The pillow is too big! It keeps squishing back out every time I push it in! It's infuriating!"

Dean hides his smile. "Takes a little bit of practice. Let me do it," he offers and Cas gladly hands it over.

"Is there anything else I can get for you from your room?" Castiel asks. 

"I need everything in my dresser," he says as he stuffs the pillow into the case. 

Castiel goes to retrieve what he can. He opens the top drawer of the dresser and sees it is full of boxers and socks. He hesitates for a split second wondering if it's okay for him to go in here, but surely Dean knows what's in his own dresser. If Cas can take Dean's underwear off of his body, it shouldn't be weird to handle his clean ones. He gathers them all up and is surprised to see a pink lacy pair of underwear stuffed in the back. He doesn't know if these belong to Dean, but they're in there and Dean specifically said, "Everything in my dresser." So he gathers them up as well and carries them into their room.

He dumps them all into a pile on the bed and says, "I didn't know if the pink ones were yours but I brought them anyway," and then turns to leave to get what's in the next drawer. 

Dean's heart has pretty much stopped in his chest. How could he have forgotten he had those stashed at the back of his underwear drawer? How is he ever going to explain this to Cas? He doesn't know if he should just grab them now and throw them away or ignore it and pretend it never happened. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He's still freaking out and hasn't moved anything off of the bed yet when Cas comes in with an armful of shirts. 

"Should I just put these directly into one of the dressers here?" he asks. 

"Uh, yah, sure," Dean says as normally as he can. He goes to open the second drawer of the dresser on his side of the bed for Cas and Cas places the shirts inside carefully. Cas barely gives him a glance as he goes back out of the room for more stuff. 

Suddenly it occurs to Dean that Cas might not actually know that having lacy pink panties is... odd. He has said himself that he likes pink, so maybe he thinks Dean likes pink, too? Maybe Dean won't have to talk about this at all.

Cas comes back in the room with an armful of pants and puts them in the right drawer. Then he turns to Dean and says, "I have a question about the pink underwear."

 _Fuck!_  Dean thinks internally and he can feel a violent blush work its way across his cheeks. This is  _Cas_  though. If he's ever going to talk to anybody about this, it's gonna be him. "Um, yah, what's up?" he says. 

Cas seems to draw himself up to his full height and says, "I don't want to be a demanding roommate, but if that underwear doesn’t belong to you and they were... left behind by some _woman_  you had sexual intercourse with, I don't want them in our bedroom. I think it's inappropriate."

Okay, that's not as bad as he thought it was going to be. In fact, he could just lie right now, say they were left behind and then never have to talk about it again. Except... there's a part of him who is  _screaming_  at the chance to talk about this, to just tell Cas and have it out in the open. He realizes he's been quiet for a little longer than is normal and blurts, "They're mine." He didn't know his face could get any redder, but well, here he is. Blushing deeper than he thought was even possible. 

Cas seems to relax his stance some and says, "Oh! I didn't know they made underwear like that for men. Why didn't you and Sam show me any when we were picking mine out? I like pink! And the lace was very soft."

Dean can feel sweat break out on his face now as well as the blush, and he has no idea how that’s actually possible because all of the sudden he's pretty sure all of the blood in his body is pooled between his legs. Cas talking about his panties like he might actually  _like_  them is doing things to him. He swallows down the thickness in his throat and says, "They, uh, don't really. They're women's underwear. P-panties," he stumbles on the last word. 

Cas's eyebrows draw together in confusion. "You own women's panties? Why?"

Dean's inner monologue is basically a non-stop loop of,  _fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK._  If it was anybody else, they would understand this and it wouldn't be so terrible. But Cas, the clueless angel, has no idea and he has to spell it out for him.

"I uh... like to wear them... sometimes. Kinda,” he says. 

This doesn't help Cas. "I don't understand. You don't like to look at flowers because it makes you feel _gay_ but you like wearing women's panties?" He shakes his head. "I will never understand humans."

Dean is tired of beating around the bush. "Listen," he says. "Remember when you told me how you uh, like the taste of my cum even though it was dirty? I told you there is no such thing as bad dirty between two people who trust each other."

"Yes, I remember."

"Wearing women's panties is one of my... dirty things. I hardly ever do it, but when I do, they make me feel..." he swallows, "sexy." He clears his throat loudly, "Not a lot of people talk about this kinda thing, Cas. It's private. I'm trusting you with this. I've never told anybody else. Ever."

Castiel finally picks up on Dean's reaction and says, "You're embarrassed about this."

"There's probably a billion people in the world who would make fun of me for this," Dean says, "of course I'm embarrassed."

"I'm not any of those people," Castiel says easily. "I don't think there's anything strange or funny about you wearing pink lace panties. They're just an undergarment. I've never understood gender stereotypes to begin with. You know that," he says to Dean. "I'm sure they look nice on you."

A little moan escapes Dean before he can get a handle on it. 

Castiel’s eyebrows draw together again and he purposely looks down at Dean's crotch where he can see a bulge beneath his fly. "Does this arouse you?" Dean nods. "Wearing women's panties arouses you?" he clarifies and Dean nods again. "Anytime you have the desire to wear them, feel free. I have no objections to it," he says calmly, and then he walks out of the room to collect the rest of Dean's things from the last drawer of his dresser like this entire conversation is totally normal. 

Dean runs his hands down his face as he thinks,  _Super hot boyfriend with no gag reflex and nothing against me wearing panties? I am one lucky son of a bitch!_

Cas returns with his final load of Dean's clothes and just as he puts them in Dean gathers him in for another hug. Cas seems surprised but goes with it. Dean says lightly, "Thanks for being exactly you, Cas. Not everybody would react to the whole panty thing the way you did."

"You taught me," Castiel says. "Don't be embarrassed about whatever you like. Tell me so I can make you feel good. Remember?"

"Yah, I remember," Dean smiles. "Let's put your clothes and the towels away and then I'll go make something for dinner, k?"

Cas smiles his agreement, and just like that, everything is back to normal.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is introduced to a whole new part of his angel... AKA. Wing King.

Dean and Sam make sandwiches for dinner, but Cas isn’t interested so he joins them at the table just for their company. Dean notices Cas is sitting kind of funny but figures he’s probably stiff from being in the car so long. When you can fly like he can, you don’t usually spend a lot of time sitting in the same position.

When Sam and Dean are finished eating Sam says he’s going back to his room to look for a case. Dean turns to Cas and says, “Wanna watch a movie?”

Castiel seems to think it over for a second and then says, “Actually, I require your assistance with something, but it’s private. Can we go to our room first?”

Dean has no idea what Cas could possibly need his help with in the bedroom, and he won’t pretend he’s not a little worried about it, but he ultimately agrees and they make their way to their room.

They walk in and Cas locks the door behind him but doesn’t turn to face Dean, who is seated on their bed. Dean waits a little bit and then says, “Cas? What’s up, buddy?”

Castiel twitches his shoulders and then finally turns to face Dean. “I believe I need to have my wings groomed,” he says finally.

Dean makes a confused face, “Okay?”

“Before, I would return to Heaven and have one of my brothers or sisters groom them for me, but it’s tradition that once an angel has mated for their mate to take over the grooming. No angel would dare to touch the wings of a mated angel. It’s inappropriate. I would very much like to share this with you, if you’ll allow it.”

Dean has never really considered Cas’s wings before. Sure, he hears them rustle a little bit when he flies in or out, and he has seen their shadow, but other than that, he just never thought about it. Honestly, now that he thinks about it, it’s kinda weird that he’s in love with something that has wings. Even if he can’t see them. Which is also kind of a problem.

“I uh, never really thought too much about your wings before, Cas. But I can’t see them. How am I s’posed to groom something I can’t see?” Dean asks.

“You need to have grace to see them,” Castiel explains. “Before we mated, you could hear them when nobody else could, and I think that’s because of the grace I gave you. But now with us mated, you have access to all of my grace through our bond. I am fairly certain all I have to do is choose to show them to you and you’ll be able to see them without harm coming to you.”

“Harm? Why would they hurt me?”

“They’re not meant to be seen by humans,” Castiel says simply. “But I feel certain my Father wouldn’t have allowed us to mate if it would have harmed you to see them. He knows this is an important part of mating, and he wouldn’t have wanted me to go without that just to be with you. Although I would have,” he adds as an afterthought.

“Okay, let’s see ‘em then,” Dean says bravely and he sees Cas squirm and a blush make its way across his face.

“You should know before you see them that my wings are considered to be permanently and badly damaged and… ugly,” Castiel says quietly and directly to the floor.

Dean didn’t know how he felt about Cas having wings, but he knows immediately after hearing Cas talk about his wings that way that he’s going to love them because they’re a part of Cas.

“Impossible,” Dean says firmly. “Nothing about you could ever be ugly to me.”

Castiel looks up to meet his eyes for the first time and has a small smile on his face. “They’re... black,” he says.

Okay, Dean will admit he was thinking white fluffy wings for an angel, but he can immediately see how black would suit Cas. “Doesn’t matter,” Dean says. “I’ll still love them.”

Castiel nods and finally takes a step away from the door. He doesn’t need to, but he chooses to close his eyes when he allows his wings to manifest to give Dean a moment to react to the sight of them. He feels his blush deepen further when he hears a gasp from Dean. He wishes so fiercely that he could just disappear and never have to face the way Dean must be looking at him right now, but he has waited too long already and his wings are really starting to become uncomfortable in their tangled state.

He swallows his pride and opens his eyes to see Dean has gotten up off of the bed and is looking at him, but not in the way he expected him to. Almost as if he’s... pleased?

“ _Cas_ ,” Dean breathes. He has to swallow hard to be able to form words. “You're _beautiful_!” he exclaims. “Your wings are bad-ass! They’re _amazing_. How could you ever think they’re ugly!?” He takes a step towards him and feels his hands reach out without even thinking about it before he catches himself. They look _so soft_! “Um, can I... touch them?” he asks with a shy smile.

Castiel feels as if his heart is going to burst. “Of course you can touch them,” he smiles, “but please be gentle because they’re quite sensitive.”

Dean nods and carefully brings his hands up to brush the very tips of Cas’s wings. They’re huge. His wingspan is way bigger than he ever thought it would be. The second he touches his wings he can feel a jolt of happiness deep inside of him where he knows his grace is, and then the familiar buzz of grace underneath his fingers. This is _right_. His own grace is downright ecstatic that he’s touching them. But even more than that, he can feel just how soft and luxurious they are, and somehow, they’re even softer than they look. Without thinking about it, he sinks his fingers into the thick feathers to cord his hands through them and then he hears Cas groan.

“Shit, sorry, I got carried away,” he laughs as he withdraws his hands. “They’re so soft! I frickin’ love them,” he praises Cas and leans in to kiss him softly and he’s taken aback (but definitely isn’t complaining) when Cas all but throws himself at him and quickly takes the kiss from sweet to scorching. Cas seems to get a hold of himself after a minute passes and slowly peels himself off of Dean.

Dean just raises an eyebrow at him and Cas smiles wide. “I had heard that it was a different sensation when a mate touches your wings, but I wasn’t prepared for _that_ ,” he laughs. “I apologize. My brothers were withholding information from me,” he laughs again. “That was extremely arousing.”

Dean’s surprised but not unhappy about this new development. “Oh yah?” he asks and he deliberately runs his hands through his wings again, but this time one of his fingers gets caught in a twisted feather. Cas winces slightly and Dean says, “To be continued,” and Cas laughs. “How do I fix you up, Cas?”

“It isn’t too complicated,” he begins, “Basically, you just need to fix the ones that are sticking up or bent the wrong way. Look at the direction the other feathers go in and just move them so that they’re all going the same way. I do a lot of them myself, but right in the middle of my back I’m not able to reach them so they’ll be the messiest.” He looks at the ground again before he says, “Usually my wings aren’t this messy. I don’t usually go so long between grooming but once you and I started dating I didn’t want anybody to touch them but you.”

Dean uses a finger to tilt Cas’s chin back up to face him and says, “No judgement, okay?” He kisses him softly and says, “I’ll make you all pretty again in no time.”

He walks around behind Cas and it’s then he realizes just how messy they really are. He takes a deep breath and begins to fix his feathers one by one, starting in the middle and working his way to the tips of Cas’s wings. He can hear Cas sigh and sometimes moan when he has to dig in a little, and honestly, it kind of makes it more fun for him. He’s barely half way through the first wing when he realizes this is going to take some time.

“Do you wanna sit or lay down while I do this? Looks like it could take a while. Are they like, heavy to hold up?” he asks.

“No, they’re not heavy, but it is uncomfortable to hold them like this for a long period of time. I would be more comfortable laying down, if that’s okay with you.”

“Go for it,” Dean says and Cas climbs on to their bed and lays down on his stomach with his wings draped on either side of him. “Wow. That’s one hell of an image, Cas.”

Castiel smiles into his pillow and thinks how lucky he is to finally have this experience to share with somebody. Dean comes and sits beside him and Castiel lifts a wing to make room for him, then lays it across Dean’s lap once he’s settled. Dean works silently but thoroughly. He has completely finished one wing and moves to the other side of the bed to start the other wing when he says, “You’ve got something sticky on this wing in one spot. How do I get it off? Soap?”

“Right at the base of my wings, where my wings meet my back, there’s oil glands,” Castiel says. “If you squeeze it – gently – some oil will come out and that should be able to get almost anything off of my feathers,” Castiel explains.

Dean looks but can’t see anything because it’s so hidden by the feathers, so he feels around (which brings a lot of sounds from Cas, he realizes with a chuckle) until he feels a spongy little nub. He just barely touches it with his finger and is about to ask if that’s it, when he feels a warm, greasy liquid squirt onto his hand. “Guess that’s it, huh?” Dean asks. There doesn’t seem to be much, so he presses again, harder this time, and he can see Cas’s hips thrust against the bed underneath him. He laughs darkly and says, “You okay there, angel?” He gets an inaudible response and carries on.

He brings his hand away from the feathers and takes a look at the oil on his hands. It has a little bit of a bright yellow tinge to it, but is basically colourless. Curious, he brings his hands to his face to smell it and feels his insides warm. This is the natural scent of Cas he has always known and loved, but didn’t know where it came from. “Your oil smells amazing, Cas,” he says. “I always loved the way you smelled but I didn’t know it was your oil.”

Castiel turns his head so that he’s facing towards Dean. Dean sees that his face is flushed, his eyes are heavy-lidded, and he’s biting down on his bottom lip. “Dean,” he says with an extremely hoarse voice, “I am already on the edge of ejaculating in my pants." Dean snorts at Cas saying _ejaculating_. "If you could refrain from complimenting my scent and stimulating my oil glands any more than necessary, I would very much appreciate it,” he growls at him.

Dean feels like it’s Christmas morning he’s so excited. “Well, angel, why don’t we take care of that problem first and then finish up your wings,” he drawls at him.

Cas closes his eyes, takes a deep breath and says, “My wings are uncomfortable. Please finish. Quickly,” he adds with a smirk and that’s pretty much all the encouragement Dean needs to get the job done.

A little while later, Dean says, “Just about done. Just one more thing...” Dean takes his chances and gets a few more squirts of oil from Cas so that he can run his hands through his feathers on his other wing. “Don’t want one wing shiny and oily and not the other one. Gotta make you look pretty for me, Cas,” he says. Then, after he has run his hands along both wings to get them in order one last time, he realizes he still has oil in his hands. It’s with a smirk to himself that he digs both hands deeply (but carefully) into Cas’s wings to rub the oil off on to them. He hears what he can only describe as a roar come from Cas and the next thing he knows, he is pressed under his boyfriend on the bed, Cas's mouth hot on his neck, and they're both completely naked.

"You mojo-ed me _naked_!? That's gotta be against some kind of angel l-law," he sputters as he feels Cas's teeth sink into the sensitive skin behind his ear.

Cas grinds his hips needily against Dean's and pushes himself up to his elbows to say in what Dean thinks of as his bad-ass angel voice, "Are you complaining, Dean?"

Dean feels a shiver travel across his skin and his dick hardens almost painfully. Suddenly he's all too aware that this is the longest he's been with Cas without getting off, and his body is more than ready for it. "Fuck no," he answers with a groan of his own. He reaches up to pull Cas's head down to his own and teases him with a nibble to his bottom lip before he feels Cas's tongue force it's way into his mouth. He moans into it and fists his hands into the back of Cas's hair to drag him even closer.

Castiel is still rubbing himself against Dean and knows he has to slow down before this is over much faster than he wants it to be. What he _really_ wants is to bury himself deep into his mate, but he doesn't know if that's what Dean wants. They've only done that the one time. He is in such a state of desperation he decides to just go for it.

He reaches behind himself to slick up his fingers with his own wing oil, and then runs his hand up between Dean's legs to rub a circle around his hole. He hears Dean hum in response and thinks he must be okay with it. He waits for the okay and sure enough, Dean starts pushing back on to his hand before he glides one oily finger into the wet heat of Dean.

"Mmmm, _Cas_. Missed you. Missed this," Dean moans at him.

Castiel looks up at Dean's face and sees his head thrown back and his eyes closed tight. He glides his finger in and out and watches Dean roll his hips into it, searching for more. Castiel didn't notice this neediness from Dean the last time he topped, and he wonders if Dean actually wants this more than he's said.

He adds another finger and watches Dean's jaw drop and then clench tight in pleasure. He looks so gorgeous like this, lost in the sensations of his body, writhing in need underneath him. Castiel can't resist planting soft kisses up the inside of his leg, meeting the line of his pubic hair and nuzzling into the soft skin pulled tight around his hard dick. This time Dean's hips come up off of the bed instead of pushing down into his fingers. Castiel hums his amusement and Dean brings his hand up to sink into the back of Castiel’s hair, gently pushing his head towards his erection.

"Please Cas," he pants at him. Since Dean is taking his fingers so well, he rewards him by grabbing the base of his cock and licking slowly up the side, making it as wet as he can. He drags his tongue over the leaking tip and this time it's him who can't hold back a moan.

"I love the taste of you," Castiel says. "Can't get enough." He opens his mouth wide and quickly swallows him down whole.

"Oh fuck," Dean curses as his hips come up off of the bed on his own. "Fuck, fuck, _fuck_."

Castiel pushes him back down and adds his third finger to Dean's ass. It's a little bit rougher than he has been so far but he's having a hard time holding back. He pulls off of Dean's cock to ask, "Too soon?"

But Dean just shakes his head and pushes down on to his fingers to fuck himself on them. Castiel shoots him a cocky smile and crooks his fingers to stimulate Dean's prostate exactly the way he knows Dean's been waiting for this whole time. He hears the air leave Dean's lungs in a rush and knows he's hit the sweet spot.

"Mmmm, Cas. Feels so good. _So good_ ," he says desperately. Castiel's body fills even more with lust and he can't help it when he reaches down to guide Dean's hand to his own leaking cock. "Fuck you're hard," Dean says as he grips him tightly and begins stroking him in long, fluid thrusts.

Dean's hand on Castiel feels absolutely perfect after being so desperate for his touch the whole time he was grooming his wings. He could so easily lose himself just like this, and makes sure to stop Dean shortly after he gets started. He reaches behind himself again to get more oil and slicks up his dick to get himself ready for Dean.

Dean whines when Castiel removes his fingers, so he kneels and braces his body above Dean's to try to calm him with his kisses.

It doesn't work.

"C-Cas. Please. _Please_ ," Dean says against his lips. "Need you so bad."

Castiel notices a blush work it's away across Dean's face as he says those words and he realizes Dean is embarrassed to want him like this. Or embarrassed to admit it. He needs to work on that.

"You need me to make love to you, Dean?" Castiel asks.

Dean nods his head enthusiastically. " _Yes_!" he pants.

"Tell me," Castiel says.

Dean seems to freeze for a split second but whispers hoarsely, "Please, Cas. Want you so bad."

Castiel lines himself up so that the head of his penis is resting at Dean's entrance. Teasing him. "What do you want?" he asks again.

Dean tries to move his own hips to make it happen on his own and curses when Castiel holds him down. "Fuck, Cas. C'mon. _Please_!"

"I want to hear you say it," Castiel says gently. He rolls his hips forward so that he can feel his slippery cock nudge the tight ring of muscle there.

"I - I want..." Dean starts but then clamps his lips shut tight.

"It's okay," Castiel soothes him. "Tell me," Castiel pushes in the tiniest little bit and then pulls back and does it again.

"I - I want you to f-fuck me," Dean finally chokes out. "Fuck me Cas," he says more firmly.

And that's all it takes for Castiel to slowly start sinking into him with Dean's name on his lips. When he's fully seated inside of Dean, Dean lets out a chorus of, "Yes, yes, yes," as he gets a hold of Cas's hips to start moving him.

Their eyes meet when Castiel starts thrusting inside of Dean. "You feel so good, Dean," Castiel praises him. "So perfect."

"M not-" Dean starts to say but Castiel cuts him off.

"Perfect _for me_. You're so perfect for me," Castiel repeats and he's happy to see Dean doesn't shy away from this compliment.

Dean starts rolling his hips downwards to meet Castiel's every thrust. "So needy," Castiel breathes at Dean. "So perfect." Dean closes his eyes as if trying to block him out. Castiel changes the angle to make sure he hits that spot inside of Dean.

"Yah, yah, Cas. Like that," Dean says as Castiel begins a steady rhythm. Dean goes with it for a little while but needs more. His eyes snap open, " _Harder_ ," he pants.

Castiel pulls almost all the way back out and slams back into him. He hears their skin slap together under the grunt of pleasure from Dean. "Cas, Cas, Cas," Dean moans over and over as Castiel repeats the motion a second, third, fourth time. Castiel can feel Dean's fingers pressing hard into his hips and knows he'll have marks there later. Dean is still writhing beneath him, alternating between bucking his hips up into nothing and grinding down further on to Castiel’s cock, completely lost in pleasure.

"You are so beautiful, Dean. I love seeing you like this. Makes me feel so good. You make me feel so good, Dean," Castiel praises him. "So _hot_." Castiel snaps his hips forward again and Dean moans low and loud. Dean reaches up and sinks his hands into the soft feathers of Castiel’s wings and Castiel is overwhelmed with pleasure and sees white.

"C-Cas," Dean says as he waits to meet his eyes desperately. Castiel opens his eyes to check on his mate. "I'm gonna -" Castiel can feel the heat pooling quickly in his own stomach and knows exactly what Dean's about to say. It's then he realizes he never touched Dean at all during this to get him off.

"You're going to come just from me inside of you, Dean," he interrupts him. He sees Dean's eyes widen and he feels him hold on to the feathers in his hand for dear life. "I never even touched you," Castiel barely gets out. "You love this."

"Fuck!" Dean hisses as he comes hard and fast all over himself.

Castiel calls, " _Dean_!" as he feels the muscles in Dean's ass squeeze him tighter than ever and the pulsing around him sends him flying over the edge with his mate. He brings his wings up to surround them in a cocoon instinctually as he waits for his climax to finish.

He pulls out and rolls on to his side. He vanishes their mess without thinking about it. He wraps one wing around Dean to pull him in to his side closely and allows the other to fold up behind him. Dean almost purrs at the sensation of being snuggled by this much softness. He rubs his face along the feathers and sighs happily.

"Cas?"

"Mmm?" Castiel answers.

"I really love your wings, man. For a second I kinda thought it'd be weird to see you with them. But I was wrong. They're beautiful. Thanks for, ya know, letting me help you with them."

Castiel kisses Dean's temple. "From the time my wings were first damaged, I have been looked down upon and even ostracized because of them. You're the first person who has ever made me feel like they're not an embarrassment. It's really nice not to be ashamed of them again," he confesses. "Thank you for accepting them."

"What happened to them anyway?" Dean asks.

Castiel plants another kiss to top of Dean's head. "They were singed black when I went into Hell and never turned back," he explains. Dean pushes away to look up at him with the unasked question written all over his face. "It was worth every harsh word I heard and more just to rescue you, Dean. I'd do it a thousand times over."

Dean has to swallow down his emotion. "I didn't know. All this time..."

"There was no reason to tell you. Nobody could do anything. Even when I was a God I couldn't fix them."

"You still should've told me. I could've been there for you, Cas. _Dammit_ ," he curses as he covers his face with his arm. This is another thing he'll add to his list of things he's fucked up and can't ever fix. He uncovers his face and rolls back towards Cas. "I'm sorry this happened to you because of me," he says.

"I already told you, it was worth it. You don't need to apologize to me."

"Yah, well. I don't exactly listen all that well, do I?" Dean says sarcastically.

"You do when you want to. You did a great job following my directions to groom me. My wings feel as good as new thanks to you," Castiel says happily.

"How often do we need to do that?"

"Only when it's necessary. It shouldn't take that long again unless something drastic happens to my wings," he says.

"Are you going to keep them out all the time now?"

"Do you want me to?" Castiel asks. He hadn't thought that far ahead yet.

"I like you either way," Dean answers. "They're awfully soft."

Castiel smiles. "Dean?"

Dean looks up at him. "I like you either way, too."

"I don't have wings, Cas," he jokes.

"That's not what I meant. Top or bottom, I like you either way. It doesn't matter to me," he explains. He sees Dean blush again and notices that he looks away again and he just can't understand it. "Why does that embarrass you?"

"Told you before. Makes me feel more gay to like... _that_ ," he grumbles with his head buried in Cas's neck.

"I guess we're both pretty gay then. Luckily for us," Castiel jokes and Dean gives up a small huff of a laugh.

Dean's quiet for a little while and then says, "I'm always in control of _everything_ , ya know? Sure, Sam helps some, but I think we both know I take the lead most of the time on hunts. I'm the driver most of the time. I cook the most. I take care of Sammy, and I try to take care of you too, now," he adds. "I guess I kinda like being the bottom because I'm not in charge for once. You made me say what I wanted because you were in charge. I kinda like that."

Castiel strokes Dean's back lovingly with his wing. "What's so embarrassing about that? It makes perfect, logical sense. Nobody likes being in control all the time. It doesn't surprise me in the least that you enjoy having somebody else take over," Castiel assures him. "I want to be whatever you want me to be, okay? I enjoy sex either way. When I feel particularly strongly about our position, like I did today, I'll let you know. Okay?"

Dean nods and smiles genuinely now. "Don't deserve you, angel."

"Oh I disagree. Nobody deserves to be happy more than you do," Castiel says as he kisses Dean's forehead one more time. "I love you," he whispers.

"Love you," Dean answers. He sighs happily and says, "What happened to my clothes anyway?"

Castiel laughs. "Laundry," he answers.

"You're pretty handy to have around, you know," Dean smiles and kisses his neck. "I'm beat." He moves to sit up and Castiel allows his wings to vanish for bed. Dean looks back at him and says, "Yep, still love you without them, too," as he gets up go get some pyjamas out of his dresser. Cas does the same, and Dean isn't surprised at all when he sees him select the duck pajamas. "Saw that coming," he says with a smile.

Castiel smiles back. "May I borrow a t-shirt to sleep in as well?"

"I definitely don't have anything with ducks on it, but I got some old plain ones that'll work," he says as he digs through his drawer. He selects one and tosses it over at him, "Consider it yours."

Castiel’s face lights up. "I don't think owning things will stop being exciting for a very long time," he smiles. Dean crosses over to him to wrap his arms around him and just hold on to him for a minute.

He places his hand on Cas's face and brushes his cheekbone with the pad of his thumb. He leans in to kiss him soft and sweet, and then says, "I gotta brush my teeth and use the bathroom. Then I'll be ready for bed, k?" Castiel smiles in response and watches Dean as he walks away.

He climbs into bed - into _their_ bed he thinks with a smile - and waits for Dean to join him. A few minutes later he does, and Castiel feels him settle into the crook of his neck like he always does. It doesn't matter where they are, Castiel realizes, _this_ is home for him. Dean is home for him.

He strokes Dean's back the way he always does to help him fall asleep and tells him goodnight.

"Night, Cas. Love you," Dean murmurs.

"Love you, too," Castiel returns, and he slowly drifts off to sleep with a smile on his face.


	3. Kitchen Sexy Time

The next few days pass uneventfully for the most part. Sam and Dean spend most of a day showing Cas where everything is in the bunker and doing chores, which takes twice as long as it usually would because they have to show Cas how to do almost everything. Cas is full of questions about why they do things a certain way or why does it need to use a different cleaner, but eventually he seems to catch on.

On the third day they're back, Dean actually enjoys when Cas offers to help make dinner. He puts a classic rock playlist on his phone and they make chilli using an old recipe of Bobby's that Dean knows by heart. He feels kinda sappy for a minute about sharing it with Cas because Bobby always said it was a family recipe to be passed down and not to forget it ( _idjits_ ). Dean never thought he'd actually share it with anybody. He thinks Bobby would approve of him and Cas together and the thought makes him happy.

Together, Cas and Dean chop up the vegetables and cook the meat. Cas measures out the ingredients carefully and exactly, and while Dean is more of a throw it all in there and see what happens kinda guy, he appreciates Cas wanting to follow the recipe. He's a rule-following kinda guy for the most part.

Once it's all in the pot to cook Cas looks at Dean and says, "Thank you for allowing me to help you cook. It was a first for me and I enjoyed it very much."

Dean has a hard time imagining Cas being around as long as he has been and never cooking anything, but replies, "It was more fun cooking with you than by myself, too. Guess we make a pretty good team, huh?"

Cas seems to agree with the idea, because without really knowing how he got there, Dean finds himself pushed against the kitchen cupboards with Cas's arms boxing him in and their lips sliding together. Cas straddles one of Dean's legs and Dean can feel Cas begin to harden against it. Dean moans into his mouth and then turns his head to give Cas better access to his neck. Cas follows his lead and kisses his way from Dean's jaw line down to his neck, following the path to the front of his open shirt.

He huffs out a breath of annoyance at the buttons stopping his lips and begins to undo them one at a time. Instead of bending to cover Dean's bare skin with his lips, Cas lifts Dean up and places him on the counter in front of him. Dean immediately wraps his legs around Cas's waist and buries his hands in Cas's hair, urging him on with a gentle push or making him slow down with small tugs as Cas keeps making his way down his chest with his mouth. He flips open the button of Dean's jeans with his fingers. Dean lets out a moan of anticipation and Cas is smiling against Dean's skin when he lowers his zipper. He sneaks his hand into the opening of Dean's jeans and finds Dean almost fully hard inside.

He gives Dean's cock a gentle squeeze and draws it out of his boxers. He adjusts his grip and starts pulling and kneading him the way he knows Dean likes it. Dean urges him on with breathy moans and Cas can't resist swallowing them down as he meets his lips again. Dean has the upper ground here and pours everything he has down into their kiss. Cas feels a familiar surge of power as his blood heats up with desire when Dean quickly turns rock hard in his palm. This time he groans against Dean's lips.

He breaks the kiss to give Dean's waiting cock his full attention. He bends to nuzzle at his balls with his nose, then presses open mouthed kisses along his sack. He gently cups his balls in his hand and lets them roll in his palm. He can see a bead of precum ooze from the tip of Dean's cock and eagerly laps it up with a moan of appreciation. He feels Dean jerk his hips up towards his mouth as much as he can in this position, and he smiles again at just how demanding his mate can be.

Another time he's going to have to teach Dean some patience, he thinks with a chuckle. But not today. Not when they're in the kitchen when they both know Sam could walk in on them any minute. No, its best to get this over with as quickly as it started. He goes back to Dean's balls and turns his head to lick a wet stripe on the sensitive skin that runs underneath them. Dean lets out a quiet whine above him. If he could get to Dean's ass in this position he'd go there next, he thinks, but instead he licks his way straight back up to the tip of Dean's cock and then opens his mouth to allow a string of spit to fall on to the head.

Dean begins writhing on the counter as the warm spit drips it's way down. Cas looks up to meet Dean's eyes and neither of them looks away when Cas slowly starts to spread the spit across the hard length of Dean. Cas sees Dean's chest heaving with his laboured breaths, his pink cheeks, and lust-blown pupils and loves knowing how riled up he has him right now.

He takes in the sight of his mate for just a minute longer while his hand continues to work his hardness and then can't resist anymore. He keeps eye contact with Dean as he bends to wrap his lips tightly around the tip of his cock and he flicks his tongue across the slit there repeatedly. Dean bites down on his bottom lip to stop himself from making too much noise and Cas takes that as a challenge. He does it again while he gives his wrist a twist around the base of cock and he can almost see Dean's eyes cross with pleasure.

Without warning he sinks all the way down Dean's length and takes him down his throat in one quick motion. He grabs Dean by the hips and begins to rock his body into his mouth as he pulls almost all the way off and then sinks back down again. Dean's hands find Cas's hair again and then he's pulling and pushing his head exactly how he wants it.

Cas follows Dean's lead for a little while before he takes him all the way down his throat again and tries to swallow around him. He feels Dean's fingers tighten on his scalp and moans deeply. Cas knows Dean loves it when he does that. He pulls up to the head again and licks across the slit a few times to allow himself to catch his breath. Another bead of cum slips out onto his willing tongue and Cas hollows his cheeks while he sucks to get as much as he can.

Dean's hips are moving on their own now and the sounds he's making are Cas's clue to how close he is to the edge. Wanting desperately to taste more of Dean's cum is what spurs him on to take Dean back in his mouth down to the root the way Dean likes it so much. He swallows around him again and when he hears Dean start whispering his name he knows it's coming.

He shoves his dick as far down his throat as he can and hollows his cheeks sucking hard one more time before he feels Dean's body tense under his hands and his mouth fills with the salty release of his mate. Cas moans as Dean keeps coming into his mouth. He swallows everything he can and when he feels some come escape through his lips he pulls off of Dean and uses his tongue to lap up every last drop he sees.

He finally lifts his head to look up at Dean and sees his head lolled back in ecstasy against the cupboards. With a whoosh of sound they both land on their bed in their room, the door closed behind them.

Dean's eyes pop open when they land on their bed with Cas still between his legs and the first thing he notices is a spot of cum on Cas's chin. "You missed a spot," he says, and before he even thinks about what he's doing, he leans in and licks it off of Cas's cheek himself.

Cas groans deep and dirty and smashes their mouths together to scrape the taste off of Dean's tongue with his own. He's so incredibly turned on by what Dean just did he's almost on the edge of an orgasm without being touched. Dean dips his hand into Cas's pants and finds him soaked and swollen, begging for attention. It only takes a few strokes before Cas comes hot and hard all over Dean's hand and finally collapses on top of him.

"Remember when you said to tell you when I like something?" Cas staggers.

"Mmm," Dean responds. He thinks his bones may have actually melted.

"You cleaning up the spot I missed was the most arousing thing I have ever seen."

Dean chuckles softly. "Noted, Cas," he says as he finds the strength to brush his hand through Cas's hair.

Cas leans into the touch and mutters, "I really like cooking with you."

Dean starts laughing and thinks not for the first time that this whole living together thing might work out better than he ever dreamed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for this chapter: Some angst and a mention of suicide.

Cas and Dean wake up the next day tangled in each other as usual, but this time it's because there's a knock on their bedroom door.

Dean knows it's only Sam so he doesn't bother unwinding himself from Cas and makes sure to hold Cas close so he doesn't move either. "Come in," he slurs.

Sam walks in, fully dressed with a tablet in his hand. He spares a minute for a smirk and says with a head tilt, "Aren't you two cute all snuggled up together."

"What d'ya want Sammy?" Dean grumbles.

"Good morning, Sam," Cas says, always the polite one.

"Morning, Cas," Sam says with a smile. "Vacation recovery is over. I got us a case," he says. "Only about an hour from here. Sounds like a simple ghost. Just gotta find the bones and torch them. You guys want in?"

"Yah, okay," Dean replies. "Why'd you have to wake us up at 8 for this? Couldn't it have waited until we woke up?"

"That wouldn't have been as much fun for me," Sam says as he walks out of their room and closes the door behind him.

"Ugh," Dean lets out an unhappy groan as he stretches like a cat. "Nothing kills morning wood quite like Sam."

Cas laughs and plants a kiss to Dean's temple. They have gotten into a bit of routine of waking up and making love first thing in the morning. He agrees with Dean though, Sam definitely killed that for them this morning. "There's always the shower," Cas offers.

Dean turns to him with an approving look and says dramatically, "God I love you."

Cas chuckles and then gets to his feet and pulls Dean along with him into the bathroom.

A half an hour later, Cas and Dean both walk into the kitchen with smiles on their faces and a bounce in their steps. "How bout I make you some of my famous pancakes, angel?" Dean asks him.

"That sounds lovely, Dean, thank you," Castiel replies. He watches in awe as Dean starts dumping ingredients into a big silver bowl.

"I could get in on some of those too, _human_ ," Sam says with a smirk without looking up from his tablet.

"You should've thought about that before you woke us up at the ass crack of dawn for no frickin' reason," Dean says, but they all know he's going to make enough for all of them anyway.

"He really does make the best pancakes," Sam says to Cas.

"Damn right I do!" Dean says proudly. He places a frying pan on the stove top to let it heat up.

"If they're anywhere close to as good as the chili last night I will be impressed," Cas says. "I didn't know he could cook so well."

"Been cookin' shit for me and Sammy since before Sam could read," Dean says. "I learned pretty quick to get good at it once I realized it was that or go hungry."

"You should have seen some of the things he came up with when we didn't have a lot of food, though," Sam says with a laugh. "Always made sure we had something."

"Anybody would've done the same thing," Dean says, bristling at the attention and whisking the pancake batter more aggressively than necessary.

"You must know that's not true," Cas says to him.

"Don't even bother, Cas. He refuses to acknowledge that he raised me and basically kept me alive," Sam says.

"Can we talk about something else?" Dean asks desperately. "Tell us about the case, Sam."

Sam and Cas exchange a look and Sam begins talking. "Three men found dead in the same house over the last two years. Looked up the address and there was a suicide there about two months before the first death."

"Why men?" Dean asks. He pours the batter on to the pan and watches them to make sure they don't burn.

"Not sure yet. I found the name of the woman who committed suicide - Ashley - and tracked down her family. Just have to talk to them to find out what pushed her over the edge," he says.

"Probably a woman scorned and all that shit," Dean says.

"Agreed. But we don't want to assume before we go into the house. Could be trouble."

"Better safe than sorry," Castiel says. Sam and Dean both turn to look at him. "What? Isn't that something people say?"

"It is," Sam reassures him.

"Wow Cas, you're almost a real boy!" Dean exclaims. Sam laughs at the joke but Cas doesn't get it.

"I already told you, I'm genderless."

"Not in that body, you're not," Dean says with an eyebrow wiggle. He flips the pancakes. "Can you grab me some plates?" Cas does and soon Dean is plating their breakfast. "Should've cooked bacon too," he realizes too late.

Sam goes to the fridge to pull out a covered tray and says, "I sliced some fruit earlier. It's no bacon, but it's something."

Dean brings his plate to the table followed by Cas and grabs what he likes from the fruit tray and adds it to his plate.

"You like fruit but not vegetables?" Cas checks.

"Most fruit tastes okay. Not like grass," he explains.

"And he's going to cover it all in syrup anyway," Sam says as he joins them. Dean smiles as he does exactly what his brother said. He drowns his pancakes with syrup and then passes it to Cas who does the same thing.

Sam shakes his head at them and says, "At least you'll both die at the same time."

"Would you get off my ass, Sam," Dean grumbles with his mouth full. "In case you didn't notice, I'm mated to a damn angel. I'm pretty sure he'll help me out if my cholesterol gets too high."

Castiel nods, "It's true. I won't let anything happen to him. Although he _is_ in surprisingly good health for the way he eats," he adds. Dean smiles around another mouthful of food and Castiel takes the opportunity to compliment the food. "Sam was right about these pancakes. They're the best I've ever had."

"Not the first time I've heard _that_ ," Dean says with a cocky smile and then looks sheepishly back at Cas. "I uh, mean thanks."

They finish their pancakes and soon enough they're back in the Impala and on the road. An hour later they pull into the driveway of Ashley's parents' house.

"Do you think all three of us should go in?" Sam asks.

"I'm not staying behind," Castiel says sternly.

"Guess that's our answer," Dean replies. "Let's go."

A little while later they're back in the Impala and Dean says, "Called that from a mile away."

"You were right. I can't believe this is actually a simple case of a brokenhearted slash pissed off ghost."

"Now we go to the cemetery?" Cas asks.

"Well, we can't go in the middle of the day," Sam answers. "We have to wait until dark."

"It's not even noon," Cas says. "What are we going to do until then?"

"Wait." Sam says easily.

"But that's... boring," Cas complains.

"Welcome to the life of a hunter," Dean says over his shoulder. "We'll have to eat lunch and dinner at some point, so that'll break it up a little. It'll go faster than you think," he says.

Dean's wrong. Even with lunch and dinner, Castiel is beyond bored and surly with it. As every hour ticks by he becomes unhappier, grouchier, and harder to sit in a car with.

"Why can't I just do this on my own? I can be invisible and nobody will ever see me," Castiel asks not for the first time.

"Cas, come on man, we've been over this already. You can go invisible but people could still see the dirt moving and the hole in the ground. We just have to wait it out," Sam says.

"Only a little while longer. It's starting to get dark now. We'll be home in no time, okay?" Dean says.

"I can't sit here anymore!" Cas exclaims. "Can we at least go stretch our legs again?"

Sam and Dean share a look of exasperation. Sam says, "I went last time. It's your turn."

"I walked more today than I've walked in a frickin' year," Dean grumbles to him under his breath.

"I heard that," Cas says as he opens his door to slide out of the backseat.

"Have fun!" Sam says sarcastically and Dean pauses long enough to stick his tongue out at his brother. Cas has already taken off walking ahead of Dean so Dean picks up the pace to follow him. “Long day, huh?” Dean says conversationally as he catches up to him.

“I don’t enjoy doing absolutely nothing for hours on end,” Cas says. Usually Cas and Dean are touching at every opportunity, but when Dean goes to reach for Cas’s hand he notices they’re closed into tight fists and he doesn’t have the patience left to try and calm him down after already listening to him complain all day long, so he stuffs his hands in his pockets instead.

“Nobody does,” Dean replies, “but it’s part of the job.”

“I can’t imagine doing this every day,” Cas says.

That puts Dean’s back up a little bit but he knows Cas is in a bad mood, so he tries to brush it off. “You know not all cases are like this. Most of the time we’re busier. It’s kinda nice to have a cut and dry case for once.”

“I’m sorry, Dean, but so far _none_ of this has been nice for me.”

He sure doesn’t _sound_ sorry, Dean thinks. “So maybe you don’t come along every time we have a case then,” he offers.

“And what do you suggest I do instead? Sit in the bunker alone and wait for you to come back?”

“Shit, Cas, I don’t know, man. It was your idea to stay down here and not go back to Heaven,” Dean reminds him. “I thought this is what you wanted.”

Castiel finally turns his head enough to look at Dean, but doesn’t stop walking. “Being here with you is what I want. Perhaps it will just take time to get used to not being busy all the time.”

“Maybe we should try to find you a hobby or somethin’,” Dean thinks, “Just somethin’ to keep you busy while we wait. Like, knitting or drawing or something that you can bring with us when we’re on the road.”

“Having something to alleviate the boredom would make it easier. Thanks for the suggestion,” he says.

A heavy silence falls between them as they continue to walk. They’re used to comfortable silences at this point, so the heaviness only makes it more awkward between them.

It’s Dean who breaks first. “Why’s this feel so weird, Cas?”

“I’m not sure. But I feel it, too.”

Dean doesn’t want to sound like a chick, but he can’t help it. “Why don't you want to touch me?”

Cas narrows his eyes at Dean. “I’m not… not touching you on purpose.”

“Yah, right. You haven’t gone this long without touching me since I held your hand for the first time.”

Cas sighs in a very human way. “It just feels _different_. Being on the road hunting with you and Sam makes me feel like I’m the outsider again. You two have been doing this for such a long time you automatically fall into patterns and routines and I’m always a step behind. It’s always been this way, but it feels more obvious now. I feel like we’re not even together.”

This time Dean does reach out for him. He grabs him by the elbow to stop him from walking away. Cas stops and turns to face him and Dean runs his hands up and down his arms in a comforting gesture. “I didn’t know,” he says softly. “I didn't mean to.”

“I’m not upset with you. It’s just difficult for me to go from being wrapped around each other all night and making love in the shower this morning to this… distance between us,” Cas explains. “I’m sure it will get easier.”

“No, no, no,” Dean argues softly as he brings his hands up to cup Cas’s face. “I don’t want distance between us to get easier. I want to make it _better_.” He leans in to brush his lips against Cas’s in a sweet and loving gesture. He can feel Cas relax under his hands and he lingers, keeping the kiss soft and sweet. Cas’s hands run up his back and he can feel some of the tension he was carrying there seep away. He ends the kiss but keeps his forehead resting against Cas’s with his eyes closed. He just allows himself to be held for a minute longer. “We’ll figure this out, okay, angel?”

Cas gives Dean a small smile for the first time since that morning. “We always do,” he answers.

“It’s getting pretty dark,” Dean says as he looks around. “Ready to go dig a grave? I wanna see how long you can last without using mojo,” he jokes. “You’ve got muscle but you don’t use it very much.”

“You just want to see me get sweaty and dirty,” Cas says.

“You got that right!” Dean laughs at Cas’s quick wit. He’s really becoming more and more human each day. He takes Cas’s hand this time as they turn to walk back to the car and feels a warmth inside of him that he hasn’t felt all day. He didn’t know he was missing it until now. He feels better now and more like himself than he has all day.

When they approach the car it’s officially dark outside. Sam sees them and climbs out of the car and opens the trunk to grab a couple of shovels. They use their flashlights to look for the right grave, and when they find it, they all start to dig.

They are in the grave up to their waists (and Cas was right, Dean is enjoying seeing Cas sweaty and dirty) when Dean notices he can see his breath for the first time. Sam feels a chill run across his body at the same time and the two of them make eye contact. Dean says, “We’ve got company.”

“This isn’t Holy ground?” Sam asks.

“It’s not,” Castiel answers.

“I’ll grab the guns,” Sam says and he takes off towards the trunk of the car.

“Keep digging,” Dean tells Cas. “I’ll hold her off.” Dean climbs out of the grave and waits with his blade out to get the first glimpse of the ghost, who he assumes is the girl they’re digging up, Ashley.

She appears in front of him, but not close enough that he can reach her. He gets into a defensive stance and waits for her to make her move. He takes in the sight of her. Dressed in skinny jeans and a t-shirt, she would look almost normal if she wasn’t see-through with a line of red blood on each wrist. Dean watches her and she looks at Cas and then back at him.

“He’s going to leave you,” she says to him in her cold, flat voice, and Dean hates the quick jolt of fear he feels. “He says he loves you – they all _say_ that, don’t they? – but he’ll find somebody else. Somebody not as fucked up as you are. Somebody who deserves an angel. Somebody who isn’t afraid like you are. Somebody who can give him a family and a home like he wants.”

“Shut up,” Dean says hoarsely. Every sentence is like a knife to his heart. He’s breathing hard and is so, so cold.

“How many times do you think you can push him away before he leaves? Just like eeeeeverybody else,” she taunts him. "You know you don't deserve him. He deserves better than you. How long until he realizes that and flies away without ever coming back?"

“I said _shut up_!” He shouts at her, and this time he steps forwards and takes a swipe at her with his knife. She giggles darkly and disappears a split second before he can make contact.

“Dean?” Castiel says from deeper inside the grave.

“Keep digging,” Dean says without looking at him. _Goddammit_ , but she got to him and he just can’t look at him right now. He runs a hand down his face trying to get his shit together.

“What’s wrong? Why were you yelling?” He asks.

“I said keep digging, Cas, fuck!” He barks at him.

Sam comes jogging towards him then with a gun for himself and for Dean. Sam takes one look at his brother’s pale face and says, “What’d she do to you?”

“Nothing. Just running her mouth. Keep an eye out because she’s not gone. I’m still fucking freezing,” Dean says roughly.

“Sam? I need a break. Can we please switch?” Cas asks.

“Yah, sure, Cas.” Cas climbs out of the hole and trades places with Sam. “Good job, man. We’re almost at the bottom,” Sam tells him.

Cas walks towards Dean to comfort him - he can almost feel the desperation radiating off of him - but Dean lifts a hand and shakes his head, “You stand over there and I’ll stay here. That way she won’t come up behind either of us.”

Castiel nods reluctantly and does what Dean asks. It’s been a good ten minutes or so and just when he starts to think she’s going to hide until they find her bones, he sees her pop up right behind Dean. “Behind you!” He shouts but as Dean spins towards her, gun raised, she waves her hand and Castiel has to watch as Dean’s body goes flying through the air and lands in a crumpled heap after smashing against a tombstone.

" _No_ ," he gasps. He feels his blood run cold in fear and fires a shot at the ghost but she disappears with another laugh. He starts to move towards Dean but she pops up between them. Cas raises his gun to fire again but with another wave of her hand the gun goes flying out of his hand.

“He doesn’t really love you,” she says to him in a mocking tone of voice, but doesn’t approach him to hurt him. “What would a guy like _him_ see in somebody like _you_? He loves _women_. Not angels. All it’s going to take is one curvy woman pressing up against him after he’s had too much to drink and he’ll forget you ever existed when he buries himself inside of her,” she tells him.

“That’s not true,” Cas says sternly, but he can’t deny the fear that’s curling inside his stomach.

Sam looks up when he hears Cas’s voice and searches the grounds with his eyes for his brother.

“He doesn’t need you,” the ghost says. “He doesn’t even want you here! He’s happy with his brother. He wants a drink, his brother, and a new woman under him every other night. You don’t fit into his life, and you know it.”

Sam overhears her now and says, “Don’t listen to her, Cas! Dean loves you!”

The ghost materializes inside the grave with Sam and pushes him up against the side of the hole by his throat. Sam is so cold he can’t catch his breath. He feels like his insides are actually freezing. “What do _you_ know about love? The only woman you’ve ever loved is dead _because of you_!” she shouts at him madly. "You're going to be alone forever, always watching your brother with jealousy in your heart."

After a frantic search Castiel finds his gun on of the ground behind him and is able to get a clear shot through the side of the ghost with rock salt. She disappears in a cry of anguish, but they all know she’ll be back soon. Castiel sees Sam gulp in a breath of air and flies to land beside Dean instantly.

He crouches down to him and the minute he touches his body Dean groans out, “C-Cas?”

“I’m here, Dean,” Cas says firmly. He pulls him up into a sitting position and checks him over for injuries. “Concussion,” he says darkly. He places two fingers on Dean’s head to heal him and watches as Dean’s eyes become clear. “Better?”

Dean can’t seem to look at Cas in the face but he nods, and Castiel pulls him up to a standing position. “Did you get her?” he asks.

“Shot her but she’ll be back.”

Dean nods, “Let’s go keep watch again.”

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Cas checks.

“I’m fine,” he says and he goes to take up the same spot he was in before he was sent flying through the air.

“Take this,” Sam says to Cas as he holds up the shovel. “Just gotta get the casket open.” It takes a couple of hard kicks with the heel of his boot to get the wood to crack, but it does finally give out under his weight. He begins tearing off the splintered pieces of wood to get to the bones when the ghost materializes again on the edge of the hole, behind the tombstone where neither Cas nor Dean can shoot her.

“Leave my body _alone_!” She shrieks at them.

Castiel and Dean both move towards her slowly trying to get on either side of the tombstone so they can get off a decent shot. Dean goes for a head shot but she disappears for a split second to make it miss and hit the trees behind her.

The ghost watches in horror as Sam starts dumping gasoline over her body and screeches in anger. She turns to Dean and starts on him again. “You still won’t end up together! All day he wanted to be anywhere but with _you_. The minute he gets a better offer he will leave you, heartbroken and damaged so badly that nobody will ever want to touch you again. Everybody will know that you _beg for it_ up the ass and no woman will want to be with you ever again!”

“SHUT UP!” Cas yells at her and takes a dive at her to fire off another shot around the tombstone which misses.

Dean can hardly catch his breath from the emotional blows she’s hitting him with but all of the sudden, he sees flames moving along the outside of her body and knows Sam’s set her bones on fire. She lets out a bloodcurdling scream as she goes up in smoke and ultimately disappears.

Dean falls to his knees and holds his head in his hands. Cas is beside him instantly wrapping his arms around him.

"Don't!" Dean yells at him and tries to shove him away but Cas is using his angel strength and refuses to let up. "Not now," he  asks him.

"I'm not letting go. I'm not leaving you!" He says with feeling. Dean doesn't fight him anymore but he doesn't return the embrace either. Finally, Castiel lets go of him and they both get to their feet. Cas places his arm around Dean's shoulders and Dean shrugs it off. 

Dean looks for Sam and sees that he doesn't look good either. "You okay, man?"

"Been better," he says with a shrug of his shoulder. "God, she was a bitch."

Dean huffs out a dark laugh. "And to think we thought this would be an easy ghost case."

"Showed us," Sam agrees. 

With a flick of Castiel's hand, he covers the grave back up with the dirt and says, "Can we go home now?"

"You okay to drive, Dean? I know she shook us all up pretty bad," Sam admits. 

"I'm fine, Sam. Let's go."

They stash their weapons and the shovels back in the trunk, and get in the Impala to make the hour-long drive back to the bunker. Each of them is lost in his own thoughts, and none of them exchange a word the whole drive. 


	5. Chapter 5

Dean walks into the kitchen followed by Cas and Sam and immediately gets a bottle of whiskey and a glass. He pours himself a large drink and sinks sullenly into a chair at the kitchen table. As if he knows Cas and Sam are against him doing it, he looks up at them both before tipping back his glass and downing as much of it in one mouth full as he can.

Sam shares a look with Cas and gives him a supportive pat on the shoulder before he turns and retires to his bedroom for the night.

Castiel knows Dean well enough to know he isn't going to talk about what happened tonight. He might not talk about it at all, ever. So he does what any supportive boyfriend would do. He goes to get himself a glass and sits beside Dean. Dean narrows his eyes at him for a minute and seems to decide to go with it, and pours Cas a drink just as big as own.

They sit silently as they knock back their drinks one by one. It's been a little while since Dean has drank like this. He hasn't had anything more than beer in weeks. It isn't long before he feels the familiar buzz of alcohol making its way through his veins. Cas matches him drink for drink, and Dean knows even the angel's gotta be feeling some of this at this point. He feels light enough to look at Cas for the first time since the ghost talked to him.

Castiel meets Dean's eyes eagerly and can tell that while he's well on his way to being the kind of drunk he hates to see Dean be, he isn't there quite yet. Castiel is feeling his own head begin to spin some and is surprised by how quickly the alcohol seems to be effecting him.

"Feeling better?" Cas asks Dean.

"Yah," Dean croaks. "You?"

"Not really," Cas answers. "Starting to get a little drunk though."

Dean tries a joke. "How is that not better?"

"What I need to feel better doesn't come out of a bottle," Castiel says seriously.

Dean rolls his eyes. "Lemme guess. You wanna talk it to death?"

"I want you to tell me you didn't believe whatever she told you."

Dean tosses back another mouthful and waits for the burn. "Doesn't matter, Cas. I'm here anyway. I'm still with you."

"Me and a bottle," Cas corrects him. "I fought off my own bad habits all day long by not flying away every time you pissed me off. You're not even _trying_ to fight your escape."

Dean glares at him for a long moment before he empties his glass and says, "There. I'm done, okay?"

Castiel does the same with his own glass and then looks back at Dean. He notices for the first time how truly filthy they both are and makes them both clean (and a little less drunk) with a thought. Dean lets out a small gasp and obviously looks Cas up and down as if really appreciating seeing him cleaned up again.

"Bedroom?" Dean asks.

 _That's one way to get past this_ , Castiel thinks, and nods his agreement. He pushes up from the table and leads the way. He feels some of his anxiety fade away when Dean rests a hand on his lower back and keeps it there until they walk into their room.

Castiel closes the door behind them and locks it. Dean quirks an eyebrow at that and then before Castiel has time to react, Dean grabs ahold of his hips and pushes him back until his back is pressed up against the door. Dean only has an inch or two on Cas, but he seems larger as he stares Cas down waiting for him to either accept or refuse this offer.

"You know I want you," Cas says, "but I need to talk, too."

"I don't want to talk," Dean says, and he proves his point by kissing his way across Cas's neck and up to his ear.

"The ghost told me you didn't want me," Cas says seriously. He feels Dean stop for a second, but he keeps going. "She told me you would leave me the first time a woman approached you. She told me you'd forget I ever existed while you fucked any woman who came on to you."

Dean pulls away and looks at Cas. He can feel his heart breaking for him. "No, angel. That's not true. You know that's not true. I want you right now." Dean frames Cas's face in his hands, gentle now.

"She told me I don't fit into your life and you would be just as happy if I left and you went back to how your life was before me." Cas finally meets Dean's eyes. "She told me you don't love me," Castiel says and his voice finally breaks at the end.

Dean can't stand seeing Cas like this. He meets his lips in a desperate attempt at trying to make him feel better. He pours every ounce of feeling he can into the kiss and groans into Cas's mouth when he feels Cas kiss him back the same way. They move away from the door and their feet start carrying them towards their bed.

"I love you," Dean says between kisses. "I want you here. Every day for my whole life, Cas. Not a woman dead or alive who can make me feel like this. Only you."

"I know," Cas says with a small smile and he pulls Dean to sit on the end of the bed. "But it still hurt to hear it. And I feel much better after hearing you tell me it isn't true," he says. He raises his eyebrows at Dean as if to say, _now you try_.

Dean runs a hand through his hair and looks at the ground. "She said... she told me you'd leave. Like everybody else." Castiel puts an arm around his shoulder and pulls Dean towards him so he can cradle his head to his chest. "Said I don't deserve you, Cas. Said I can't give you... kids and a house, and how that's what you want."

Castiel can feel his stomach drop because there's a part of him that does want those things, but he's never told Dean. But this isn't the time to have that conversation. "Do you believe her?"

Dean's silent for a minute before he says, "I've always thought I didn't deserve you. I've done too many terrible fucking things in my life to deserve happiness with you. But I know you don't think that."

Cas tilts Dean's chin up to him and says, "You're right, I don't. You're the best person I know. I have held your soul in my hands, Dean. Nobody can be terrible when they have a soul that bright. Believe me."

Dean gives Cas a small smile. "You uh, you heard what she said about me begging for you."

"I did. But it doesn't matter what she says. That's between us," Cas reminds him.

"And Sam, thanks to her," Dean bites out.

"I don't think Sam's opinion of you has changed after hearing that. We are both in men's bodies, Dean. I'm sure most people put two and two together."

"It's only embarrassing because it's true," Dean says quietly.

"I don't want you to feel embarrassed about what we do in private. I want you to enjoy it as much as I do. I have no shame in wanting you as much as I do. Everything about you is extremely arousing."

"Obviously I feel the same way about you, Cas. I don't even know the last time I've had this much sex," Dean realizes.

"I hope you won't object to a little more," Cas smiles suggestively. "You kinda got me going over by the door."

Dean takes Cas's hand and places it on his half-hard dick. "I don't think you'll have trouble talking me into it," he says with a smile.

Castiel leans in to kiss him but stops just before their lips meet to say, "I love you," one more time, and then he loses all coherent thought when Dean pushes him back on to the bed and straddles him, rolling his hips wickedly.

He leans forward to loosen the tie around Cas's neck. "One complaint about the angel outfit," he says, "too many layers." He slides the tie over his head and Cas runs his hands up and under Dean's shirt to find the rippling muscles on his back. Dean starts to unbutton Cas's shirt one button at a time, and kisses every inch of skin he reveals. Once he has them all open, he sits back and pulls Cas up so he can push the trench coat and the dress shirt off of his body.

Once Cas's hands are free he pushes Dean's flannel off of his shoulders and then grabs the hem of his t-shirt to lift it over his head. He scoots back further up the bed to give them more room and Dean reverses the trail he kissed down Cas's chest earlier. He starts by running his tongue along the skin just under the waistband of his pants. Cas sucks in a breath and Dean starts making his way up Cas's body. He stops to kiss the faded marks on each of Cas's hip bones, and doesn't stop again until he finds one of Cas's nipples. He licks it with the blunt end of his tongue and feels it harden.

Cas groans and his hips move up off of the bed. Dean rolls the hard nipple between his fingers and moves over to the other one to give it the same treatment. He eventually moves his way up to Cas's neck, licking and sucking at every little spot he knows Cas likes. Cas's body never stops moving under Dean's and it drives Dean crazy with want. It's been days since Cas has been under him like this and he realizes that as much as he likes to bottom, he really likes this, too. He wants this badly. He feels his own body responding and he's rutting up against Cas without meaning to.

He captures Cas's mouth with his own and pushes his tongue inside. This never gets old. He could happily spend hours just kissing Cas. He feels Cas suck on his tongue and he gets a flash of the memory of Cas's head buried in his lap the night before. He groans into Cas's mouth. He needs to move this along.

He reaches down to unbuckle Cas's belt and opens his pants to get them off of him. He starts to tug and Cas lifts his hips to help him out. Dean smells the delicious scent of Cas's arousal and makes quick work of his own pants before he dives for Cas's hard cock face first. He grips it tightly in his hand and watches Cas throw his head back with pleasure. He zeros in on his chiseled jawline and has to stop himself from climbing back up there.

Instead, he looks down at Cas's hard length and licks a stripe from the base to the tip. Cas breaks his silence with a cry of, " _Dean_!" Dean smiles because he knows how much his angel fucking loves this. He drags his tongue across the head of Cas's cock and tastes the bitter precum that's gathered there. Cas's hips jerk upwards so Dean does it again, slowly. Cas hisses in pleasure this time. Dean loves how responsive Cas is. Always lets him know exactly what he likes.

He spends some more time licking, flicking, and sucking just on the tip. Without warning, he sinks down and takes as much of Cas as he can into his mouth. He still can't go as far as Cas can but he's getting better. Cas doesn't have any complaints judging by the groan he lets out. Dean pulls up and sinks down again, even further this time. He hears a gagging sound come from his throat and Cas moans even louder.

"You're _choking_ on me," he hears Cas moan.

Dean smiles around his cock and pulls off to say, "That's because you're huge, Cas. Love every inch of you," he praises him.

Castiel sits up to pull Dean towards him for a kiss. He tastes himself on Dean's tongue and moans again. He needs more, _now_. He wraps his arms around Dean's upper body and flips him so he's face down on the mattress. He meant to flip him face up but he didn't go all the way. That's okay though. Castiel has never gotten his mouth on the muscles of Dean's back and that's a damn shame because it's a maze of tight muscle and Castiel loves it. He presses himself against Dean's back and kisses the back of his neck. He trails his tongue down to his shoulders and brings his hands up to grasp at the muscle there.

"I love your body, Dean. You're so strong. Love feeling your muscles under me," he praises him. "Your back is a work of art," he groans at him. He lets his hands and mouth move down further and further. He's never really taken the time to admire Dean's ass from this angle and he really should have. He nibbles his way down to one cheek and cups the other in his hand tightly. The muscle _here_ is even astounding, he thinks.

He hears Dean moan and sees that he's beginning to rut against the sheets under him. Only Castiel's upper half is actually on the bed at this point. When Dean's ass comes up off the sheets for a second the thought occurs to him that he's never tasted Dean _there_ and he really, really wants to. He starts dragging his tongue down further and traces the cleft of Dean's ass with his tongue.

"N-no, Cas don't." Dean's words say the exact opposite of what his body is doing. Dean's ass is lifting towards him more and more for every centimeter he trails his tongue down. "Cas... I'm not _clean_." Cas frowns for a split second before Dean feels a whoosh of air.

Castiel says, "Now you are." And he doesn't hesitate at all as he licks a strip right over Dean's pink hole.

Dean bucks under him and moans, " _Fuck_!"

Castiel smiles to himself and does it again. The third time he dips his tongue into that ring of muscle and swirls his tongue around it. Dean is making more noise under him than he has ever heard come from him before. He is loving this and nothing makes Castiel happier than pleasing Dean. He continues tracing his hole with his tongue until he feels the muscle give for him, and he pushes his tongue in even deeper. He's opening Dean up just with his tongue and it's incredibly arousing.

He uses his hands to spread Dean's ass cheeks to get better access, and his tongue slides in deeper than before. He can feel Dean trembling beneath him and hears Dean chanting his name interrupted by the occasional curse and wonders if he could make him come just like this. It isn't much longer when Dean's body tenses underneath him and he thinks he's about to find out when suddenly Dean rolls over.

He is more flushed than Castiel has ever seen him and he looks absolutely desperate for him.

"Come here," Dean says and Cas is pleased that he sounds as wrecked as he looks. "Don't look so proud of yourself," Dean teases him.

"You're gorgeous like this," Cas tells him as he bends to meet his mouth. Dean kisses him passionately but Cas notices he keeps his tongue to himself. He lets his grace clean out his mouth and forces his tongue into Dean's mouth.

Dean pulls away for a second and says, "Mojo?"

"Don't know what the big deal is, but yes," and he continues kissing him the way he wants to.

Dean brings his hands to rest on Cas's hips and applies pressure to push him back.

Castiel feels Dean's erection nudge against his ass and he breaks the kiss to ask, "... like this?"

"Is that okay?" Dean asks.

Castiel has never done this before and feels nervous but agrees. "You'll have to show me," he breathes and Dean nods his encouragement. Dean reaches for the bottle of lube in the nightstand beside him and quickly slicks up his cock.

"Do you need -"

"No, I can take you without it. Just go slow," Castiel says.

"You're in control of that, angel."

It's then that Castiel realizes the control he gets this way. Suddenly he is that much more aroused by this. He remembers Dean saying he likes when he isn't in control and thinks this will work well for both of them.

Castiel reaches behind him to steady Dean's erection before he slowly starts to push back on it. He feels a little bit of resistance at first and rocks against Dean's cock until he feels him slip in and he knows the rest of him is open for him now. He braces his hands on Dean's chest, and Dean brings his hands up to hold his arms. Then he slowly begins to sink down on to Dean's cock.

It feels incredible and both he and Dean groan loudly. He sinks all the way down until his hips are flush with Dean's and then waits for the familiar feeling of his body adjusting to the size of Dean.

"Feels _so good_ Cas. Unbelievable," Dean praises him. Cas nods his agreement and begins to rock his hips slowly. It feels fantastic.

Dean is doing everything in his power not to thrust up into him. "You good?" Dean checks.

"Help me move the way you want me to," Cas offers.

Dean brings his hands up to Cas's hips and lifts him slightly. Cas follows his guidance and slowly starts bouncing up and down on Dean's cock.

"Holy fuck," Dean breathes once they have a rhythm going. " _Cas_ ," he growls out.

Dean finally allows himself to thrust up into him and this time it's Cas who moans a, "Ugh!" as Dean hits that spot inside of him. He can feel his toes curl with pleasure.

"Like that, Cas?" Dean asks and Cas nods vigorously. Dean takes in the sight of the man he loves riding him like a fucking stallion. The muscles in his arms flexing, his broad chest and strong shoulders on display. Those fucking thighs thick and muscular as hell put to good use fucking himself on top of Dean. Cas's cock is standing proud, flushed and swollen. "You look _amazing_. You're so fucking hot, Cas. I've _never_ seen anything hotter than you are right now. I love you so much," Dean tells him. "You're gorgeous."

Dean knows he isn't going to last much longer. He pulls Cas's hands so that Cas's body falls flat on top Dean's. He feels Cas's rock hard dick press against the soft skin of his stomach. He braces his feet on the bed and bends his legs so Cas can push off of them. Now Cas can rut into his stomach and fuck Dean at the same time.

The sensation of fucking Dean and rubbing his cock up against his body is enough to bring Cas to the edge quickly. He finds Dean's lips and kisses him sloppily as he feels the heat gather at the base of his cock. "Dean," Cas says in warning and Dean nods.

"Me too, Cas. Don't stop," he begs. Cas's lips don't leave Dean's and his hips never stop moving as Castiel feels his orgasm rip through him, dragging a throaty moan from his mouth.

Dean feels Cas's lips stutter against his own as he comes on to his stomach. He can feel Cas's ass clench around him and that combined with the pornographic sounds Cas is making sends him flying over the edge with his lover.

Castiel feels Dean come hot inside of him and it helps push him through the rest of his orgasm. He finally lets his hips still and he rests his forehead on Dean's as they both gasp for air. A minute passes and Cas thinks he finally has enough energy to move. He pushes up enough to let Dean slip out of him and he winces at the feeling.

The mess he made disappears from Dean's body and Cas takes its place, laying on top of Dean with his nose pressed to his neck. Dean's arms come around him instantly and he strokes his back.

"Cas, that was... God. There aren't even words. Amazing. Mind blowing. Un-fucking-believable."

"Mmmph," Cas replies and Dean chuckles.

"I know you did most of the work and you're tired. But I just... I will _never_ forget the way you looked on top of me as long as I live. You're breathtaking, Cas."

Cas plants a soft kiss into Dean's neck and feels a blush make its way up his body. He's very pleased Dean is complimenting him like this.

"I love you, Dean," Cas says happily. "Thank you for not letting that ghost tear us apart."

"Nothing will ever tear us apart. Forever, Cas. Promise." He kisses him on the forehead. He lays there for another minute before he gets up to use the bathroom and brush his teeth. Cas has his pajamas waiting for him when he comes out and he wonders for the thousandth time how he ever got so lucky.

They climb into bed together and spend another night wrapped up in one another.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has come to my attention that the last few chapters have basically been porn without a ton of plot. While that can be good sometimes, I didn't do it on purpose, and that's not what this story is supposed to be. I have big things coming for this story... I just have to get there.
> 
> That being said, this chapter is just plot with no porn, and it's for my friend, Sophia! I hope you enjoy it, my friend!

Cas and Dean walk into the kitchen the next morning holding hands and exchanging doe-eyed looks. Castiel wraps his arms around Dean's waist from behind and is nuzzling into his neck as Dean pours them each a cup of coffee when they hear Sam clear his throat behind them. Neither of them even noticed he was in the room.

Castiel doesn't let go of Dean, but turns to smile at Sam. "Good morning!" He says brightly.

"Hey," Sam smiles back. "Guess you guys kissed and made up?"

"You could say that," Castiel answers with a blush. Dean tries to hide his smile into his cup of coffee but fails, and that's pretty much all Sam needs to know. "How are you feeling?"

Sam shrugs and reminds Castiel very much of Dean before he replies, "She hit on some things that are bothering me, but there isn't a solution to any of them right now. So there's nothing I can really do about it."

"Wanna talk about it?" Dean says, leaning against the counter. Cas leaves one arm around his back.

Sam raises his eyebrows. " _You_ wanna talk about something?"

This time Dean shrugs and says, "My adorable but incredibly stubborn angel forced me into talking last night and I actually kinda felt better after. Maybe it'll help."

Sam sighs. He doesn't know how to say this to them without sounding like he's complaining about them. "You know how like... stupid happy I am for you guys, right?"

Cas and Dean exchange a smile between them and nod their agreement. "'Course we do," Dean answers.

"One of the things that ghost said to me yesterday was how jealous I am of the two of you," Dean snorts in disbelief and Sam continues, "and she was right. My whole life I've wanted what you guys have, but because of the job I can't have it." He shakes his head and smiles before he says, "And you never wanted to settle down with anybody and now here you are, mated for life while I have to sit here miserable and alone."

Castiel feels terrible for Sam and his arm moves away from its place around Dean automatically. "I apologize if my being with Dean has made you feel uncomfortable or lonely, Sam. I didn't intend to make you feel let out," Castiel says solemnly.

"No, you didn't. That's not what I'm saying. I'm not feeling left out. Dean and I never spent a ton of time together when we were at home, only on the road, really. I just... I guess I just feel more lonely now that I see the two of you together, if that makes sense," Sam tries to explain. "I want what you have so bad, and there's just no way for me to have it right now. It's frustrating."

Dean knows this is another thing he will blame himself for. As if it wasn't already bad enough that he dragged Sam into this life, now it's making him unhappy. "Anything we can do to help?" Dean asks.

"I'll let you know if I come up with anything," Sam says. He looks at Cas and smiles, "You can still touch him, Cas. I like seeing you guys happy."

Castiel smiles awkwardly back at Sam. "I didn't want to make you feel worse. I know how it feels to feel like the outsider. It isn't a nice feeling," he says sadly. "I hope you know that besides Dean, you're my best friend, Sam. Like my brother. I always enjoy having you around."

Sam feels a blush creep along his cheeks. He's not used to anybody saying these kinds of things to him. "Thanks man, and I know. I feel the same way. It's nice to have somebody to geek out with every once in a while."

"I don't know how I ended up living with such a bunch of nerds," Dean scoffs.

"We both know you've got a nerdy side," Sam says.

"Yah right, I'm cool as shit!"

"You like Star Wars," Castiel says and Dean narrows his eyes at him. 

"And Harry Potter," Sam adds. "And Lord of the Rings."

"And Beauty and the Beast!" Castiel says.

"Actually, the last one's just gay, not nerdy," Sam laughs.

"Bite me, Sam," Dean says.

Sam widens his eyes dramatically, "Wait, no over-dramatic denial about not being gay?"

Dean purposely takes a long drink of his coffee and feels both Sam and Cas's eyes on him. "Maybe I'm a little bit gay," he concedes and glares at Sam like he's daring him to make fun of him right now. "For Cas anyway," he adds.

Dean sees Castiel's face light up like a Christmas tree, and before he can even begin to defend himself, his gargantuan brother has launched himself at him and wraps his arms around him to squeeze him tightly.

Dean steadies the hot coffee in his hand before saying, "What the hell, Sam? Get off of me!"

Sam backs up but rests his hands on either side of Dean's shoulders. He looks him in the eye and says seriously, "I am _so_ proud of you."

Dean rolls his eyes and shrugs his hands off of him. "Oh my God. I said I was gay, not a teenage girl. No chick flick moments!" Cas laughs softly and Dean zeroes in on him. He points a finger at him accusingly and says, "This is all your fault."

Sam looks over at Cas and seems to come to the same conclusion. He walks over to him and pulls him in for a hug, too. Cas happily wraps his arms around him and accepts the hug with a smile on his face.

"Thank you, Cas," Dean hears Sam say quietly to him. "Thank you for helping my brother find himself. This is the first time in my whole life I've actually seen him happy, and it's all because of you."

If Dean gets a little teary seeing his brother and the man he loves share a moment, nobody has to know that but him.

After breakfast, the three of them end up spending most of the day together doing stuff around the bunker. Cas and Dean have more laundry to do. Dean feels like's washing his damn bed sheets every other day but is relieved when Sam doesn't make any comments about it.

Once their housework is done Dean suggests watching more Friends episodes, but none of them feels like sitting in the kitchen to watch. Cas then has the brilliant idea of setting up the empty space with the fire place between the map room and the kitchen as an actual living room. He wonders aloud if the three of them might spend more time outside of their bedrooms if there was somewhere they could all sit comfortably, and Dean and Sam exchange looks and wonder how they never thought of it before. Dean thinks darkly that it's most likely because they haven't spent enough time in actual houses to know that a living room is missing.

They search some of the closed up rooms and find an overstuffed couch covered by drop sheets and an old leather recliner in very used but good condition in the library. They drag a coffee table and some lamps from some other rooms and soon the only thing they need is a tv.

Sam gives the okay, and Cas and Dean find themselves back at WalMart. They splurge on a huge-ass smart tv and sound system for the living room, a smaller tv for their bedroom, and wall mounts for both of them. Cas is able to find a few pairs of jeans this time without Dean breathing down his neck, and his heart melts when Dean picks out a new pair of pjs for him with Star Wars characters on them. Much better than the plain ones! As much as he thought he'd wear his trench coat and "angel outfit" as Dean says, he finds himself more comfortable around the bunker in sweat pants, so picks up a few pairs of those as well. He asks Dean if he can show him how to use the picture printing machine, and he prints some pictures of Sam, Dean and himself to put in frames he picked up.

It's almost dinner time when they're done, so they stop and grab a couple of pizzas on their way back. They throw it in the oven to keep it warm when they get back to the bunker because Dean wants to install the wall mounts while he still feels like it. He does the one in the living room and then leaves the geek squad to deal with the wires and surround sound system as he goes to install their bedroom one. By the time he's done, he finds the boys in the living room and Dean has to stop and catch his breath when he sees the picture frames Cas has set up on the mantle of the fire place.

There's one of him, Cas, and Sam in front of the sand castle they built. A "selfie" Cas took of the three of them with the ocean at their backs, and a picture of the three of them on the Beer Bus that Donna took. There is something so normal - normal for other people, but never for them - about seeing their pictures on display. Like the three of them are a real family and the bunker is their home, and it makes Dean so happy he feels like he's having a Grinch moment and his heart is growing three sizes. He clears his throat of the emotion and asks if Cas and Sam want to break in the living room by watching those episodes of Friends together now. They grab their pizza and some beers and do just that, enjoying each other's company and laughing at the show.

Sam and Dean both know Sam hasn't searched for any cases for them today, but neither of them say anything about it. Dean finds he's strangely okay with taking a day off and doesn't feel restless and guilty like he would have before. If Cas notices, he also doesn't say anything. They enjoy their new living room and have a good day together. Later that night Sam says he has plans to Skype with Donna (Dean makes a joke about cyber sex and gets a bitch face from Sam) and says goodnight to Cas before he goes back to his room for the night.

Cas is sitting in the middle of the couch and Dean is laid down with his legs thrown over Cas's lap. "Wanna watch a movie before bed?" Dean asks.

"If you wish," Cas replies.

"Don't call me a geek again," Dean starts, "but have you actually watched Harry Potter before?" Cas allows his head to drop on to Dean's shoulder and he looks up above him to meet Dean's eyes with an amused look. "That was a stupid question, wasn't it?" Dean says with a laugh.

Cas smiles. "I haven't seen it, and I would like to. If it's something you enjoy, I'd like to know more about it."

"Awesome," Dean says with feeling.

The movie begins and Castiel quickly realizes if Dean is a geek for liking Harry Potter, then he must be a geek, as well. He is sucked into the fictional world from the moment Hagrid shows up to tell Harry Potter that he’s a wizard. He leans in closer to the television and his eyes never leave the screen. He even feels his eyes mist over at the end when Gryffindor wins the house cup! This is easily the best movie he has ever seen, and as soon as it’s over he turns excitedly towards Dean to discuss it further.

Dean is looking at him with an expression of amusement on his face. “I take it you enjoyed the movie, huh?”

“Very much so,” Castiel exclaims. “I am in awe of the entire fictional world that has been created. Made up words, places, animals… it’s all amazing!”

“Did you recognize Hermionie?” Dean asks.

“She did look vaguely familiar, but as I haven’t seen many children’s movies I thought I must be mistaken,” Castiel replies.

“She was Belle in Beauty in the Beast,” Dean tells him.

“Of course!” Castiel says with a smile, “I didn’t realize how old the Harry Potter movie is. She was a very good actress even as a child,” he continues.

“I’m glad you liked it, because there’s still seven other movies after this one,” Dean says.

Castiel feels a huge smile break out on his face. “Can we watch another one tomorrow?”

“Sure,” Dean says and he stands with a stretch. “I'm ready for bed," he says.

Cas stands to join him and together they walk into their bedroom, change, and climb into bed.

Castiel is stroking Dean's back when he gathers up the courage to say, "Would you care if I wasn't an angel anymore?"

Dean lifts his head and turns his body so he can look at Cas in the face. "Are you serious?"

"Yes," Castiel answers.

"What kind of question is that? You are an angel so what difference does it make?"

"What if I had my grace removed?" Castiel asks him slowly.

Dean goggles at him. "Why the hell would you want to do that?"

Cas sighs heavily. "When Sam was talking about you dying the other day it occurred to me that while you and Sam will continue to age and eventually die from old age, my vessel changes much more slowly and will remain mostly like this until then. You'll be a very old man and I will still look like this," he says.

Dean considers this for a moment and shrugs. "Works for me. You'll always be hot even when I'm old and wrinkly," he laughs.

Cas only smiles sadly. "I _want_ to grow old with you, Dean. It would be a privilege."

"Don't be stupid, nobody wants to be old," Dean argues.

"Imagine our roles were reversed. How would you feel if you knew everybody you loved would grow old and die one day only to leave you behind - alone - to mourn their deaths for thousands of years?"

Dean just looks at him for a minute. He finally says, "Of course that sounds terrible. But what's the other choice? You remove your grace just so you can die when we do? I don't want that for you, man. I don't want you to die just because I do. I feel better knowing you'll always be here looking out for people, ya know?"

"I've already lived an extraordinarily long life. And in all of those years, none of them have even compared to the years since I met you. Knowing you has changed me in more ways than I could ever express. I don't want to live in a world again without you in it. What's left for me then? What do I do with all of these feelings you've made me feel?"

Dean feels his stomach clench with jealousy but forces the words out anyway, "You move on. Find somebody else to make you happy."

Castiel shakes his head. "Even if I thought there was ever a chance of me wanting to be with anybody other than you - and to be extremely clear, I know that would never, ever happen - we are mates, Dean. I will always long for you and never be truly at peace with anybody else."

"Woah, woah, woah. The bond stays intact even when one angel dies?"

"Of course," Cas responds easily. "Angels have very long life spans and before all of this war in the last few years, it was extremely rare for an angel to die. In most cases when a mate does die, the other chooses to join them on the other side so that their souls can be at peace together."

"So they just off themselves?" Dean is shocked and disgusted at the waste of a life.

"There is not a death of a human body like you're imagining. It's not suicide. Most angels don't have vessels, remember? It's just one entity changing forms to another to stay happy."

"Okay. So why not just do that then? When I kick the bucket, choose to change or whatever and come be with me then," Dean offers. Dean knows he's going to Hell anyway, and he knows Cas's soul will _never_ go to Hell, so if he can convince him to do this then maybe Cas will choose not to change at all once it happens.

"As I said before, I very badly want to grow old with you. I want to watch our bodies change together and have grey hair when you do," Castiel smiles at the look of panic on Dean's face, "I want to sit on a park bench and read the newspaper with a funny old man hat on my head. I want to poke you with my cane when you get on my nerves," he jokes.

Dean's heart fills at the pictures Cas just painted for him, but he doesn't let it go. "What about all the angel perks though? Won't you miss it? The other angels? Healing yourself when you get hurt," Dean adds. "Don't you remember how bad it hurts to get stabbed?"

"Not something I'm likely to forget," Cas says dryly. "Truthfully, my biggest fear is not being able to heal you," he says.

"I can take care of myself," Dean insists.

Castiel smiles. "I know you can. But you had a concussion yesterday and I healed you in seconds. Without me you'd still be in the hospital."

"That's what it's supposed to be like to be human. Bash your head in, you go to the hospital. Don't worry about me," he insists.

"It's something I'm thinking about. As my mate, I wanted to make sure you wouldn't mind first. The bond would stay within us, but we'd miss out on being able to share grace and communicate silently," Cas tells him.

Dean's jaw drops a little bit. "I forgot about that! Why don't we do that!?"

"I didn't want to introduce something new just to take it away," Cas answers. "If that's what I decide to do, I mean. Would it bother you?"

"I would still love you the same as a human or an angel. But I'm not gonna lie to ya, Cas. If I had a choice I'd choose for you to live another two thousand years, with or without me. After everything we've done to save the world, I don't want to imagine it without somebody like you looking out for it. But it's your choice, and I'll support you either way."

"Thank you," Cas says quietly. "I will let you know before I make my final decision."

Dean lays his head back down and Cas begins stroking his back again. Cas thinks Dean is sleeping when he hears him say quietly, "I'd miss your wings."

Castiel feels his eyes fill with tears before he whispers quietly, "Me, too."

He feels Dean slip into sleep soon after, but for the first time in weeks, it takes him a long time to finally drift off to join him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only a little bit of porn in this one. Still plot though!

~~~~The next morning when Dean wakes up and starts kissing his way up Cas’s neck as usual, Cas grumbles and rolls away from him for the first time since they’ve shared a bed. Dean snorts a laugh and remembers the grouchy Cas he was used to before they started dating. _Guess the morning sex had to come to an end at some point_ , he thinks.

He climbs out of bed (Cas doesn’t even move) and makes his way to the kitchen in search of coffee. He sees Sam sitting at the kitchen table as usual and nods at him in greeting before he grabs a cup and fills it with coffee from the pot. He leans against the counter and takes the first scorching sip, and then another.

Eventually, Sam must decide he’s awake enough to talk to him because he says, “Not attached at the hip with Cas this morning?”

Dean snorts, “He actually grunted at me and rolled away when I woke up.”

“Honeymoon’s over,” Sam jokes and Dean smiles because he knows it isn’t true but still sees the humour in the statement. “I’m glad he’s not here, actually. I’ve been wanting to talk to you alone since we got back.”

“Are you breaking up with me, Sammy?”

“Ha ha. Very funny,” Sam says. “Remember at the beach you were talking about proposing to Cas?”

“ _Someday_ proposing,” Dean replies, “yah.”

“Well, I didn’t know if you knew or not, but I uh, have Dad’s wedding ring.” He stands up and approaches Dean and pulls a wooden ring box out of his pocket. “I found it in that old storage unit. I thought you might like to have it.” He wiggles the box against his other hand. “To give it to Cas, maybe.”

Dean’s throat closes up and he has to take another drink of coffee to loosen it up again. He finally says, “You’re joking, right? You know how Dad felt about… gay people,” he says awkwardly. “He’d pitch a fucking fit if he ever knew I was into guys. Why’d you think I wouldn’t admit it for so long?” He spits out, still ashamed. “He’d hate me being with Cas and he’d fucking hate it if I gave him his ring.”

Sam looks at Dean sadly and then says, “I know. I remember the things he used to say. I wish I was strong enough to stand up to him back then.” He meets Dean’s eyes awkwardly and adds, “But _mom_ picked out this ring. It meant something to her, too. And even if I didn’t know her, I think that she would be happy that you’re happy, and she’d want you to have this.”

“I don’t know, Sam. I’ve been trying not to think about dad since I’ve been with Cas because it makes me feel all fucked up. Like he’d be ashamed of me. And fuck,” he closes his eyes and puts his coffee cup down. He runs a hand over his face and says, “Even after everything he did to us it still makes me want to run away from Cas. From us, ya know.”

“Maybe he would’ve come around,” Sam offers. Dean just shoots him a skeptical look. “Okay, probably not. But he’s not here now anyway, so try not to let him affect the way you think. You love Cas, and you’re happy with him. Screw dad and his homophobic slurs, okay? Would you just look at the ring? It screams Cas,” Sam says and he forces the ring box into Dean's hands and then grabs his laptop and leaves Dean alone in the kitchen.

Dean stares at the box in his hands for a long time before he finally opens it. His breath catches when he does and he can feel his heart start to pound in his chest because Sam is absolutely right. This ring is meant to be for Cas. The minute he sees it _he knows_. It doesn’t matter who it came from, it’s perfect. He pulls it out of the box to get a better look at it. It’s gold, and obviously old, but in an antiquey-way, not in a bad way. And it’s engraved with an intricate design that reminds him of crosses. Perfect for an angel, he smiles. He can see Cas’s reaction to seeing this ring in his head. He can see himself down on one knee, promising to love Cas forever, tears streaming down both of their faces and one of Cas’s huge gummy smiles on his face. He looks at this ring and he sees it, and _he knows_. He wants to propose to Cas. Not just someday, but someday soon. Damn soon.

He places the ring carefully back in the box, and stuffs the box in the pocket of his sweat pants. He walks down the hall to find Sam’s room and sees the door open. He pokes his head around the corner and Sam looks up to meet his eye. Dean shrugs a shoulder to try to make this less of a moment than it is and says, “You were right. This is the one,” he has to clear his throat again before he can keep talking. “Thanks,” he gets out, and then he spins and walks back to the kitchen with a new, intoxicating lightness inside of him.

He’s still smiling to himself as he starts to get the ingredients together for waffles. Not as good as his pancakes if you ask him, but he knows Cas has a weakness for strawberries and he knows there’s a pint sitting in the fridge. So, strawberry waffles it is. He leaves a plate for Sam when he's done, and starts rifling through cupboards for some sort of tray so he can carry his and Cas’s breakfast to their room. He eventually finds an old wooden one, dusts it off, and places their plates, two mugs of coffee (Cas’s loaded with cream and sugar the way he likes it), and syrup on the tray and walks it carefully down to their bedroom.

Before he wakes up Cas (or attempts to, anyway) he stashes the ring box at the back of his underwear drawer. Cas has already seen everything he needs to see – and more – from in there, so he doesn’t think he’ll look again anytime soon.

He grabs the tray off of the top of the dresser and says in a sing-song voice, “Wakey, wakey sleepy head!” He watches as Cas stirs and rolls over to face away from him again. “I brought you breakfast in bed,” he says more seriously.

Cas rolls back over and looks at Dean. “Coffee?” he asks hopefully.

Dean nods to it on the tray he’s holding. “You’re welcome, sunshine.” Cas grunts but sits up. Dean tries to hide his smile as he takes in the sight of Cas all rumpled from his sleep. His hair is flat in some places and sticking up in others. He has sleep lines down the side of his face and a scowl on it to match. Dean walks to his side of the bed and climbs up before he places the tray on the bed in front of them. Dean digs into his waffle quietly and allows Cas to drink his coffee to wake him up a little bit.

It isn’t long before Cas says, “This is very nice, Dean. Thank you for making me breakfast.”

“Never did the whole breakfast in bed thing before,” he replies with a smile. “Seemed like you need a bit of a pick-me-up.”

“I had trouble falling asleep,” Cas replies bringing a slice of waffle to his mouth. He lets out a soft moan and Dean chuckles.

“No sex noises allowed after you cold-shouldered me this morning,” Dean jokes.

“I’m sorry, I was too tired.”

Dean looks at him and realizes he actually looks worried or concerned or something. “I was joking, Cas. We don’t have to, you know, every time I want to. I’m not with you just for sex.”

“I want to make you happy,” Cas replies.

“You do. You think I’d make you breakfast in bed if I was mad about you turning me down?”

“No, I suppose that isn’t likely.”

They are eating in a happy silence when Sam sticks his head around the door frame. "Hey guys?" He says. 

"Yah, come in," Dean answers with a mouth full. 

"I think I found you guys a case," Sam says. 

"'You guys?' What about you?" Dean asks. 

Sam shrugs, "We don't all have to go every time, do we? I can if you want me to, though," he adds. 

"No, it's fine. What's the case?"

"There's a Fall fair in Wichita this weekend. I saw a news story published that said there's been a different disappearance linked to this fair every year for the last four years but the only connection the police have so fair is the fair itself. I thought it might be worth checking out."

Dean hims and haws. "Worst case scenario, we get to hang out at a fair for a couple of days, right Cas?"

"I have never been to a fair but it sounds fun," Cas says. 

"So you're in?" Sam says. 

"Yah, we're in," Dean confirms. 

"It opens tomorrow night, then runs all day Saturday, and Sunday. I'll get you guys set up for a motel for tomorrow and Saturday and then you can add in another day if you need it?"

"Works for me," Dean says. 

"Thank you, Sam," Cas adds. 

"No problem," he goes to leave and then calls over his shoulder, "and thanks for the waffles!" He closes the door behind him. 

"I'm done," Dean says. "I was thinking, wondering I guess, if you need me to uh, groom your wings again yet? It's been a couple'a days."

"That would be wonderful Dean, thank you for offering," Cas says. He pushes the tray away from himself and then scooches up and away from the headboard. Dean hears a flutter and then Cas's wings open behind him. 

Dean feels his eyes go wide and he takes a deep breath to try to steady himself. "Yah, that's not getting old any time soon," he says. He climbs up on to the bed behind Cas and starts in the middle of his back like last time. He can't resist running his hands down the top of each wing before he really begins. 

"They're _so_ soft," he says and he smiles when Cas's wings puff up slightly. Then his hand goes straight to an oil gland so that he'll be able to use a little bit at a time as he straightens out the few awkward feathers that are sticking out in every which way. When his fingers brush the gland he hears Cas inhale a breath and smiles to himself. "You just concentrate on those waffles, angel boy," he teases and Cas stays silent. It's quiet in their room and Dean can hear the scraping of Cas's fork against the plate, the sound of Cas swallowing his coffee, and of course, the small, breathy sounds Cas is trying to keep to himself as Dean grooms him. He really feels a sense of pride each time he fixes a feather and sees how nice Cas's wings look newly oiled. 

"One wing down," Dean says a little while later and he leans in to plant a soft kiss right under Cas's ear. 

"It feels so much better already," Cas says with a voice rough like sandpaper. 

"It _does_ sound like you're feeling pretty good," Dean teases him. 

"I won't be giving you the cold shoulder when you're finished," Cas says suggestively and Dean laughs. 

"Better hurry this along then," he replies before he kisses Cas on the same spot on the other ear, and nibbles a little before he draws back. He notices with pleasure that Cas's noises get a little louder every time he needs to get more oil. Anticipation is running through his body and it's a delicious feeling. 

Soon enough he's fixed all the fathers he can see, and he runs one hand down each wing to make sure before he says, "That's it. All fixed up, angel."

Cas rolls his shoulders and flexes his wings before he folds them up behind him. "Thank you," Cas answers him. 

Dean rubs his hands together to try and soak up some of the oil on his hands and he watches as Cas leans over the side of the bed to set the tray with the dirty dishes on the floor. Dean's legs have been crossed for a long time, so he uncrosses them and leans back with a groan of relief. "I'm getting too old to sit like that," Dean says. When Cas sits back up and turns towards Dean, Dean sees that he's almost as flushed as he was the last time he groomed him. His hair is still crazy, his wings are framing his body, and the combination makes him look like Dean's version of a wet dream. "You are so fucking hot," Dean says with feeling. 

Cas smiles cockily at him and starts crawling towards him on the bed. He doesn't stop until he is straddling Dean's waist and has captured his mouth with a searing kiss. They're both already hard - Cas from the grooming, and Dean from the anticipation - and Cas wastes no time grinding down into that hardness under him. Cas's hands frame Dean's face and Dean lifts his hands to sink into Cas's wings behind him. Cas moans against his mouth and Dean feels his hips jerk upwards for more friction. The next thing he knows, he's naked and he has a naked Cas in his lap.

"In a rush?" He asks between kisses. 

"Yes," Cas breathes. He presses open-mouthed kisses down Dean's neck, and stops to catch a nipple between his teeth. He feels it bud under his mouth and sucks it between his lips. Dean pants above him, and he continues his trail down. He dips his tongue into Dean's navel to make him laugh and keeps moving south. He plants feather light kisses down the hard length of Dean's erection but just keeps moving past it to work his way between his thighs. He pulls Dean down by his legs so that he's flat on the bed, and then grabs under his thighs to push them up in the air so he has access to Dean's ass the way he wants. 

"Cas," Dean begs because now he knows what he's going to do and he knows how good it's going to feel. 

Cas takes his time. He starts by sucking one of his balls into his mouth and feels Dean tense beneath him. He licks down the sensitive strip of skin that leads from his ball sack to his ass and then licks his way back up again. He nibbles gently on his way back down and stops to look at the beautiful pink ring waiting for him before he dives in with his tongue. He starts with a long lick across it and hears Dean huff out a breath. He does it again, slower this time, and feels Dean trying to thrust up into it. He runs the tip of his tongue all the way around the hole and he groans when he feels it flutter under his tongue. "So anxious for me, Dean," he says as he nips at every inch of skin he can reach. "Now you know how I felt."

"Yes, _yes_. Please, Cas," Dean begs. 

"You want me to fuck you with my tongue?" Cas asks and Dean just about swallows his own tongue hearing Cas talk like that to him. 

"Yes," he whines, " _please_. Just do it."

"Mmmm, feels so good when you beg for me," Cas replies quietly and then he rewards him by pushing his tongue into his hot centre. He pushes until he feels the muscle open for him and then thrusts his tongue as deep into Dean as he can. Dean is panting, groaning, and cursing in turn. Cas releases one of his legs to reach behind himself for some oil, and once it's slicked up he adds a finger into the mix along with his tongue. He feels Dean pressing down into his face trying to fuck himself on his finger and Cas crooks it just right to brush that sensitive bundle of nerves inside. 

"Nnnnng, _fuck_!" Dean shouts loudly. 

Cas hums against Dean's hole and the vibration makes him curse a second time. Dean grabs on to the backs of his own legs to hold them out of the way and spread them wider to allow Cas better access. Cas is pleased by Dean so eagerly giving himself over to him. He reaches up to grip Dean's leaky cock with his other hand and swipes his palm over the tip to collect the precum to spread it along the length of him. He begins moving his hand in long, slow strokes, always making sure to stimulate the head of Dean's dick at the start of each stroke. He feels Dean alternating between pushing up into his hand and pushing down on to his finger and can't believe how aroused he is just by taking Dean apart bit by bit. 

"Cas," Dean pants again, "I'm getting close."

"Mmmm," Cas groans against his hole again. 

" _Cas_ ," Dean warns him sharply and now he's whining with the effort of trying not to come.

Cas pulls his mouth off of Dean's ass to add a second finger. Dean pushes against into it instantly and Cas pushes against Dean's legs with his head and says, "Drop your legs for me." Dean complies and now Cas takes his chance to swallow Dean's flushed cock down to the root with one quick movement. 

The wet heat of Cas's mouth along with the non-stop stimulation of his prostate sends Dean flying over the edge of his orgasm with a cry of pleasure. Cas sucks back every drop of cum and laps at his dick in case he missed any before Dean feels his fingers pull out of his ass only to be replaced with Cas's cock nudging against his hole. 

Dean is already wet from Cas's mouth and the oil from his fingers, and relaxed and open from his orgasm, so Cas is able to push into Dean quickly in one thrust. 

He lifts one of Dean's legs and throws it over his shoulder to get in even deeper on the next thrust, and Dean feels so full he thinks he might split in two. 

"Fuck Cas, you're in so deep," Dean pants. Even though he just came, the burn is amazing. 

"You feel so good, Dean. Always so good for me," Cas praises him. 

Something about the way Cas's body is just a little bit too tense makes Dean think he's holding himself back. "Harder," Dean tells him. "Fuck me harder."

Dean was right. Something seems to snap in Cas when he hears those words because he lets out a deep growl and his next thrust pounds into Dean with slap of skin against skin. Dean feels his entire body being pushed up towards the headboard with each thrust, and soon his head is noisily banging against it but neither of them care enough to stop. 

Cas makes a sound to indicate he's close and Dean pushes up the best he can with one hand so that he can sink his other hand deep into Cas's feathers. Cas's eyes meet Dean's and Dean hears himself say, "I love you. I love you so fucking much, Cas. Come for me. _Mark me_ , angel." He tightens his grip on the feathers a little bit more and that combined with his words is what has Cas finally spurting hot inside of Dean. 

Cas empties himself with a silent scream of pleasure too intense to actually come out, and Dean thinks he sees a flash of blue light in his eyes. _Grace_ , he realizes, just as the lamps on either side of them explode simultaneously. 

"Shit!" Dean says, but Cas is still moving inside of him, working his way through his orgasm. He finally slows to a stop, and as he drops his body on top of Dean's, he kisses him softly on his shoulder. 

He is still catching his breath when Dean says in exasperation, "You blew the fucking light bulbs out!"

"That was an intense orgasm," he replies groggily. "I'll fix them in a minute."

Dean snorts a laugh, “I can’t believe you did that.”

“ _You_ did that to me, Dean,” Cas says into Dean’s shoulder.

“I didn’t even touch you,” Dean argues.

“Good thing,” Cas replies. He lifts his head to kiss Dean gently on the lips. “Who knows what would have exploded if you did,” he jokes.

Dean laughs. “Guess you like it a little rough, huh?” Cas looks sheepish as he rolls off of Dean and Dean gasps when he sees the glass disappear off of the floor and the lights come back on.

“All fixed,” Cas says in an attempt to change the topic of conversation.

Dean just raises an eyebrow. “Cas,” he says seriously. “Not a big deal, man. Everybody likes it rough once in a while. Come back over here,” Dean asks and he lifts an arm to make room for him. Cas snuggles back into Dean and Dean lets his arm wrap around him. Dean kisses him on the forehead and says, “I’ve been thinking about the angel thing.”

“I have as well. I wasn’t able to fall asleep last night because I was thinking about it so much,” Cas explains.

“You should’ve woken me up, man. I could’ve talked to you about it.”

“That’s alright, I think it was something I had to do on my own,” Cas explains.

"Did you decide anything?" Dean checks.

"No, not yet."

“Okay good, 'cause I have an idea,” Dean says.

“Oh?”

“This case we’re going to work together. What if we make a deal that you don’t use your grace at all while we’re gone? See how much you miss it? No cleaning up messes, fixing broken stuff, healing yourself or me, flying around, smiting people, making us naked… all that stuff you do without thinking about it. I think you use your grace more than you think you do, and practicing not using it might help remind you what it’ll be like to be human again. What do you think?” Dean asks.

Cas nods. “I think that’s a wonderful idea, Dean. Similar to a trial-run.” He nods again. “Okay, let’s do it. No grace from now until we are done with the case.”

Dean’s face breaks on a huge smile. “Guess that means you’re gonna need to join me in the shower this morning.”

Cas scrunches his eyebrows together. “You did that on purpose.”

“Welcome to the real world,” Dean laughs, and with that, both of them make their way to the shower to get ready for the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I took some liberties about John's wedding ring. I really have no idea if he had one (and I don't care) and I'm sure it wasn't left in the storage unit. But I like the idea of an old ring for Cas, so I went with it. Hope nobody minds!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a short chapter. I'm trying to move things along to get them to that Fall Fair in Wichita. Story should start picking up after this! Thanks for hanging in there with me!

Cas and Dean walk into the living room to find Sam already there in the recliner. Dean sees Sam attempt to hide a smile and he knows he’s thinking about the ring he gave him and his reaction to it. Him and Cas plop on to the couch and just as he goes to reach for the tv remote, Sam starts talking.

“So, who was getting banged into the headboard this time?” Sam asks.

Dean curses internally when he feels his face flush. “Shut up, Sam,” he bites out.

Cas looks at Dean with an apologetic look on his face and Sam says, “Guess that answers that,” with a big smile on his face.

“Maybe you wouldn’t be so interested in my sex life if you’d get one of your own,” Dean shoots back.

“Just because I’m not loud enough to let an entire building hear me doesn’t mean I’m not having sex,” Sam replies.

Dean snorts, “You’re just not doing it right then, baby brother,” and he winks at Cas. "Aaaanyway," Dean says to change the subject. "What're you doing in here?"

"Besides trying to drown out the noise of my brother having sex, nothing really. I was trying to catalog this old book but a lot of it is in Enochian. I could use some help if you and Cas aren't busy," Sam says.

"Actually, that works out well because there's a couple of things I have to do before we leave. You okay to hang out here with Sam for a bit?" He asks Cas.

"Of course," Cas smiles. Dean leans in to kiss him quickly on the lips and says, "I'll be back soon."

"I love you," Cas offers quietly. 

Dean looks at Sam for a split second before he looks back at Cas and says, "Love you too, angel."

"I love you too, Dean!" Sam says.

"Blow me, Samantha," Dean says.

A little while later Dean pulls Baby into the parking lot of the mall. He takes the keys out of the ignition and takes a deep breath to steady himself. A few minutes later he is walking through the door of a jeweler. An expensive jeweler, by the looks of things. He walks to the counter and a salesman says, "Good day, sir. How can I help you today?"

"I uh, got this ring that I wanna get engraved. You do that, right?"

"We do. It's ten dollars per letter," he informs him. 

"Holy shit," Dean says and then gives him a winning smile as an apology. "Still fine, just caught me off guard. First time, ya know. Listen, can you do something other than English letters? I was hoping for something in Enochian."

"As long as you give me a clear, detailed example, I should be able to do pretty much anything."

"Got a piece of paper?" Dean asks and the salesman hands one to him along with a pen. 

Dean's hand is sure and steady as he writes out the six letters he most associates with Cas. He slides the paper back across the counter to the man. He watches as he studies it and then nods. "Yes, I can do this. What are we engraving it on?"

"Oh shit, I almost forgot to give you the damn ring," Dean says with a dry laugh at himself. He pulls it out of his pocket and hands the wooden ring box over. The salesman pops the lid opens and nods his appreciation.

"It's a beautiful ring," he says. "Antique?"

"Yah, I think so. Dunno how old or anything though. Used to be my dad's."

"I'll examine it while I'm engraving it and see if I can give you an educated guess when I'm done," he says kindly.

"Really? Cool. Thanks, man," Dean replies.

"Just take a seat, sir. It shouldn't take too long."

Dean waits not-so-patiently, and it's about fifteen minutes before the salesman comes back with the ring. "What do you think?" He asks. 

Dean checks it out and has to blink back tears when he sees the light reflect over the engraving. He clears his throat and says, "Yah. That's exactly what I wanted. You uh, did a good job, man, thanks."

"You're very welcome. As for the ring, I would hazard a guess that it goes back to the early 1900s. Not incredibly old, but still, in excellent shape for it's age and truly beautiful. I polished it for you as well and now it's all clean for soon-to-be fiancé. He must be a hell of a man to go to all this trouble for him," he says with a smile. 

Dean smiles brightly and says, "Yah, he’s the best. How many millions do I owe you?" He jokes. The salesman walks behind the counter to the cash register and rings him up. Dean pays with his credit card and then pushes a twenty-dollar bill across the glass counter. "For good work and uh, not making the gay thing weird."

"Love is love," the man replies, "but thank you. Good luck."

Dean smiles again and tucks the box back into his pocket before he leaves the store with a wave over his shoulder. 

When he gets back to the bunker, Sam and Cas are still working on that book. He decides to pack for tomorrow. Between clothes for both him and Cas (he tries not to fixate on just how coupley it is to pack for both of them) and then loading the weapons they might need - which is basically everything since they have no idea what they're dealing with - the trunk is full quickly. He does another load of laundry so he doesn't have dirty clothes waiting for him when they get back, and decides to prep some homemade burgers for dinner tonight. 

He's just washing his hands clean of the meat and onions when Cas and Sam come into the kitchen. 

"Homemade burgers?" Sam asks hopefully. 

"Yep, thought I'd let Cas find out what he's been missing all these years."

"He literally makes the best burgers ever!" Sam tells Cas.

"Everything I've ever had made by Dean is better than I could've imagined. I am very much looking forward to trying these," Castiel smiles. He approaches Dean and catches his lips on a lingering kiss. "Hi," he breathes softly as he pulls away. 

"Glad to see Sammy didn't fill your head with terrible stories about me while I was gone," Dean says half-seriously. 

"Oh, I tried,” Sam answers. “A lot. He just doesn't care. Did you brainwash him?"

Dean makes a face as if he's insulted before he says, "No burgers for you!"

"Okay, okay, I give," Sam says laughing. 

"Oh, I almost forgot to ask. Did Cas use any grace while I was gone?"

Cas's eyes widen comically and Dean is sure he's about to be ratted out but Sam says, "No, I don't think so. Why?"

"We have a bet going to see how long he can go without it. I think he'll crack before we're done with the case," Dean explains. 

"I still think I would be perfectly fine not using it ever again, but I suppose only time will tell,” Cas says.

"Sorry, Cas, I think I'm with Dean on this one," Sam laughs. 

"You don't believe I can refrain from using it?" Cas asks, obviously insulted. 

"Nope. I think Dean will get hurt like he always does and you'll break to heal him. I doubt Dean even knows how to stitch himself up anymore, he's so used to you healing him all the time."

"I don't always get hurt. Fuck you," Dean laughs. "I am going to win though."

"What did you guys bet anyway?"

"Just bragging rights. We're both stubborn sons of bitches," Dean says and they all laugh because it's true. "Got about an hour before it'll be time to start cooking these babies. Friends?"

"I was hoping to watch more," Cas admits. 

Between Friends, cooking, all three of them gorging themselves on truly delicious burgers, Cas and Sam doing the dishes, and then watching the second Harry Potter movie together, the night passes quickly and soon it's time for all of them to turn in. 

"I still have to pack for tomorrow," Castiel realizes when they walk into their room and change into their pajamas. 

"Nah, I packed your stuff when I was packing mine. You're good to go," Dean tells him.  

"You didn't have to do that, Dean, thank you."

"I was doing it for me anyway. Just grabbed the same stuff for you," he replies. 

"You're a much more thoughtful boyfriend than I thought you would be," Castiel says. 

"You thought I'd be a dick, didn't you?" Cas laughs as he pulls a fresh t-shirt over his head and Dean takes that as an admission. "I don't think I would've been this good for anybody. God knows Lisa always bitched about me not doing enough for her," Dean says bitterly. "Guess I actually wanna help you. I like doing things for you."

"You like taking care of me. It's what you've always done for Sam, and you just do the same for me," Castiel says. "I appreciate it, but I hope you know you don't have to take care of me. You do enough. I should be the one taking care of you," he realizes. They climb into bed together and Dean snuggles into Cas's nook. 

"How bout we just take care of each other?"

"I like that idea," Castiel answers as he strokes Dean's back. 

"You're probably ready for bed, huh?"

"I am very tired," Cas admits.

"Promise me if you can't sleep tonight you'll wake me up?"

"I don't want to bother you," Cas starts but he stops when Dean lifts his head and he sees the look on his face. "I promise," he relents and Dean kisses him. He lingers a little bit longer than he usually would because it's been hours since he was able to. He feels Cas melt into the kiss and doesn't pull away. Cas's hand brushes Dean's cheekbone and like always, and it makes him feel so loved, so cherished. Finally, they break apart with smiles on both of their faces.

"You always make me feel so damn much," Dean says.

"I hope I always do," Cas replies and leans in for one more quick kiss. "I love you. Very much," he adds. 

"Me too, angel. Always," he says with a smile. 

"Always," Cas echoes.

"I'm gonna read for a bit. I'm not that tired yet," Dean says as he rolls over to pull a book from his nightstand. 

"I have never seen you read before," Cas says. "Well, other than research."

"Yah, if I do a ton of reading for cases I don't like to read for a while. But I almost always have a book or two on the go. It's no big deal," he says. 

"What're you reading?"

"I've read this one a couple of times already, but it's called Wool by Hugh Howey. It has a crazy twist in it and even knowing it's coming, it always makes my blood pump when I read it," he explains. "You'd probably like it."

"May I read it when you're through?"

"'Course. What's mine is yours and all that shit, right?" He answers. "You can snuggle in. If you want to, I mean."

Castiel smiles, knowing that Dean wants him to. Castiel rests his head in Dean's lap and feels one of Dean's hands come up to stroke his hair absentmindedly. "Goodnight, Dean," he says. 

"Night, angel."

Cas drifts off to sleep easily, and after Dean is done reading, he puts the book away, and slips out of the bed to use the bathroom one more time before bed. He laughs when Cas’s head hits the mattress and he still doesn’t move a muscle. When he’s finished, he climbs back in the bed to find Cas laying on his side. He makes himself the big spoon and throws an arm around Cas's waist before he, too, drifts off happily. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any guesses on what Dean got engraved on Cas's ring?


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very sweet reader found me on Twitter tonight and inspired me to post this chapter! I so appreciate comments and feedback! <3
> 
> I didn't mean for this chapter to take the turn it did, but I promise the fair is next!

The next day, Dean and Castiel leave the bunker just after lunch. It’s a warm day for the middle of October, and Castiel is soaking up the sun streaming into the car with a smile on his face. He sits in the passenger seat with Dean’s hand covering his own on the bench between them, and listens as Dean sings along to the old tapes he likes to play. Something about being back on the road feels normal – this is how he’s used to spending his time with Dean, after all – but he’s happier sitting beside his mate and holding his hand than he would otherwise be in the back seat.

Two and a half hours later they pull into the motel Sam booked for them and they both get out of the car to stretch their legs before heading inside to check in. There’s an older man sitting behind the counter who gets to his feet slowly when they walk in. “Hey, uh, checking in for a reservation. Under Tyler,” Dean says.

The man flips through a book in front of him and nods. “Musta been a mistake here. I got you down for a single,” he laughs.

Castiel feels his stomach drop.

“No, a single’s right,” Dean says but Castiel can see a blush work its way up his neck and on to his face.

The man looks between Dean and Cas and says, “It’s no trouble. We have a few doubles open if you wanna change. No difference in price, coz I’m feelin’ generous.”

“We would like a room with one bed, please,” Castiel says with ice in his voice. Why is this so hard for people to accept?

The man finally seems to get it and his eyes widen a little bit in surprise. He looks at Dean when he says, “Oh. Sorry ‘bout the confusion. You uh, just don’t look the type.”

“Next time I’ll make sure to check in waving a gay pride flag,” Dean says dryly.

The man doesn’t say anything else as he takes Dean’s credit card and then slides him the slip and the motel bill to sign. He leaves the pen on the counter. He places a room key hanging on a warn red keychain on to the counter between them and then stuffs his hands in his pockets.

Dean grabs the key and nods in the direction of a bottle of hand sanitizer sitting on the counter beside him. “Make sure to use that when we leave so you don’t catch it,” Dean says pointedly and feels satisfied when the man has the decency to blush. He turns to leave and Castiel follows behind him.

They grab their bags from the trunk and find their room. Dean unlocks the door and props it open for Cas with his foot. Castiel walks through and puts the bags on the bed. This time room is nothing like the last hotel they shared. It looks clean enough, but the décor is dated at best, and Castiel thinks the word dingy is probably more accurate.

“Sammy really went all out for us,” Dean says sarcastically.

Castiel turns to face him and gives him a small smile. “Are you alright?” he asks.

“M’fine,” Dean says. “Getting used to people being dicks now. I pretty much expect it.”

“I suppose if you want to see a silver lining you can always sleep peacefully at night knowing you don’t look gay,” Castiel jokes.

Dean snorts, “What the fuck is _that_ , anyway? Like I said: dick.” He lays on his side of the bed with his arms up over his head.

“I would have to agree,” Castiel replies.

“So, what’s the plan for today?”

“Thought we could just sit and relax for a little bit. We can head to the fair around five, grab some carnival food, and get a feel for the place. That work for you?”

Castiel nods, “Yes, that’s fine.” He looks at the ancient television and says, “Perhaps we can watch more of Friends on your laptop? It doesn’t look like we’ll be getting Netflix on to this television.”

“Uh no, that tv’s about 20 years too old for that,” Dean agrees.

Castiel gets the laptop from the bag and hands it to Dean, who sets it up in the middle of the bed. Castiel climbs on to his side and lays beside Dean.

“What’re you doin’ all the way over there?” Dean says with a smile, and Castiel smiles back before he scooches close enough to Dean so that they’re pressed together from shoulder to hip. Dean places his hand on Cas’s thigh and Castiel covers it with his own and laces their fingers together.

Castiel is about to ask if he should hit play when he hears Dean huff out a breath of air and he turns to look at him. “What is it?” He asks.

“I was just thinkin’ that this is kinda how we got together,” Dean says. “Laying on a hotel room bed, watching Netflix. Holding hands,” he adds.

“Three weeks ago tomorrow,” Castiel replies. “Easily the best 20 days of my life.”

“Seems like so much longer though, doesn’t it?” Castiel tilts his head at the question, trying to figure out if Dean meant that in a good way or a bad way. “Longer in a good way,” Dean says like he can read his mind. “I’m so comfortable with you, and you know, I love you and everything, and that’s not really normal for two people who have only been together for 20 days,” he explains.

“I didn’t know before, but I think I have been in love with you for years,” Castiel confesses. “Now that I understand so many feelings more clearly, I can look back and easily identify what I was feeling in times of confusion and why.”

“Like when?” Dean asks.

“When I went behind your back and worked with Crowley,” Castiel replies. “You were so sure you could trust me, and then when you found out what I did and I saw how that I hurt you… I was heartbroken. It felt like how I imagine I would feel if you were to break up with me.”

“I, uh, probably overreacted. I had this perfect version of you in my head. I never thought you’d let me down and it hit me like a ton of fucking bricks when you did.”

“I’ve done that to you several times since then, but I promise I won’t again,” Castiel says earnestly. “Another time I can remember is when I saw you kissing Anna.”

Dean winces. “I was hoping that would never come up again.”

“Because you had sex with my sister?” Castiel asks with a small laugh. “You do seem to have a thing with angels and trying to get them to have sexual intercourse before they die. If only you’d taken the same approach with me instead of bringing me to that brothel,” Castiel jokes.

“I can’t say it never crossed my mind,” Dean admits.

“I was jealous of Anna. When I saw you kiss her, I wanted to rip her head off and I had no idea why at the time.”

“That was a long-ass time ago,” Dean remembers. “You liked me for that long?”

Castiel nods. “I’m fairly certain. I always preferred your company over anybody else’s. I knew that I felt better when I was with you. I knew I liked being close to you. I knew what I felt for you was different than what I felt for anybody else. There was always this feeling that what we had between us was incomplete. But I didn't know what it all meant,” he says.

“Remember that crypt?” Dean asks.

“Parts of it,” Castiel says. “I wasn’t myself for most of it. I do remember you got through to me, though.”

“I was _desperate_ to get through to you. I was so fucking close to admitting how I felt about you then. Then the whole Gadreel/Ezekiel thing happened and I kicked you outta the bunker, and you had sex with that demon and I thought you’d never go for me ‘cause I’m not a chick.”

“Then you had the mark and were a demon, then we had the Darkness to worry about, and then I allowed Lucifer to possess me…” Castiel recalls.

“Kinda funny to talk about it all like this,” Dean says with a smirk. “It sorta makes it sound like as soon as we only had ourselves to worry about we figured it out.” Castiel nods his agreement. “Makes me wonder how long we would've gone on not knowing if Sam didn’t get us to the beach.”

“I owe him a lot,” Castiel says seriously. “I wouldn’t be here with you like this if it weren’t for him.”

“I dunno. I think we would’ve figured it out eventually.”

“In any case, I’m glad we’re together now. You make me very happy,” Castiel says.

“Pretty sure this is the only time in my whole frickin’ life I’ve actually been happy,” Dean says heavily.

“You don’t have to say that just for me,” Castiel tells him. “You were with Lisa for more than a year. Surely you must have felt some happiness while you were with her.”

“On and off, sure. But I was never all the way happy because Sam wasn’t there. I loved Ben like he was my own and I tried really damn hard to make Lisa happy. But I was fucked up pretty bad. Me not bein’ happy had nothin’ to do with her, and more to do with me. I probably won’t ever have my shit all the way together. Seen too much, lived through too much, fucked up too many times.” He stops to take a breath before he continues, “This is probably as good as it gets for me. And now, with you, it’s so much better than anything I ever thought I’d have. Don’t deserve it,” he says quietly as he looks down at their clasped hands.

Castiel can feel his heart breaking for the man he loves. He squeezes his hand and waits for Dean to lift his head again before he says, “If I could give you anything, I would allow you to see yourself the way others do. The way _I_ do. You don’t give yourself nearly enough credit for everything you have overcome and all the good you do, and instead you dwell on every mistake you’ve ever made. Nobody could be happy if they lived in your head, Dean. I only hope I can love you deeply enough, often enough, and in exactly the way you need me to so that someday, you can see what I see.”

Dean sees the truth in Cas’s eyes. He knows that Cas sees him the way that he says he does, but Dean just can’t see it himself. “Don’t put that on yourself, Cas. I dunno if even you can love me enough to make me let it all go.”

“I’ll never stop trying. You know that.”

“Yah, guess I do.” Cas looks so sad he has to add, “If… if anybody could do it though, it’d be you. I never said before,” he scratches his head in what he knows is a nervous gesture. “but I… I want to leave it all behind me so bad. I can’t even think about how good it would feel not have this hate eating away at me inside. I just… don’t know how to get rid of it. But God, do I want to.” Castiel feels Dean squeezing his hand very tight and sees his other hand balled into a fist at his sides.

“We’ll figure it out together,” Castiel promises. He reaches across to cup Dean’s face in his hand and Dean leans into the touch. “We have our whole lives to work through it. I’m going to be here every day. I’m going to make sure you fall asleep every night in my arms knowing just how loved and treasured you truly are.”

Dean closes his eyes against the flood of emotion he feels running through his body. He knows Cas is way too good for him, and maybe he’s the most selfish son of a bitch alive, but he’s not giving him up for anything. He pulls Cas in by the shoulder and pours everything he’s feeling into a kiss. The sadness, the hate, and the self-loathing mixed together with love, and with hope that he’s feeling for the first time in so long he almost doesn’t recognize it. He has hope that Cas can help him not feel like this anymore, and it's _so good_ but so fucking scary, too.

He wants Cas to know how he feels but doesn’t know how to put it into words. He thinks of their connection and how Cas said he could send feelings to him once they’ve been bonded. He has never done it before, never had a reason to until now, and even though he knows Cas isn’t supposed to use his grace there was no rule that said _Dean_ couldn’t. He concentrates on that place inside of him where he knows the grace is, and mentally pushes everything he’s feeling towards Cas as their lips continue to move against each other. He imagines the grace spreading from his centre down his arms to his fingers before he feels Cas’s moth open in a gasp in surprise.

“You believe me,” Castiel says in awe. “You believe we can do this together. You used your grace to show me. You're  _hopeful_. Oh, Dean,” he gushes, so full of love for this man he can practically feel it radiating through his body. He rests his head against Dean’s the way Dean is always doing to him and says, “My love for you is overwhelming. I love you so much.”

Dean swallows and takes in a deep breath to calm himself. “I know. That’s why I believe you. I love you, too, angel.”

They sit together with Cas’s head on Dean’s shoulder for a long time, just holding each other. Finally, Dean says, “I uh, feel really good, Cas. A lot better. Guess this is why people have been on my ass trying to get me to talk about my feelings my whole damn life. It actually helps,” he laughs.

“I’m so glad it does. I wish I could help more,” he says.

“You’re already doing more than anybody else has. Thank you. For, you know, always listening. It’s really easy to talk to you once I get started. Just sorta pours out.”

“I’m always happy to talk with you,” Cas says. “Though I actually did want to watch Friends,” he smiles.

“Yah, okay. Let’s do that to lighten the mood a little bit, k?”

“I’d like that.”

Dean finally leans forwards to press play, and they both lose themselves enough in the show to laugh out some of the stress.

They only meant to watch a few episodes, but find themselves at a two-part episode and wind up watching four all together. Dean gets up to use the bathroom and then they’re ready to go to Castiel’s first Fall Fair.


	10. Chapter 10

They pull Baby into a dirt parking lot and Dean manages to find a spot closer to the entrance than he thought he would. They both get out of the car and Castiel takes in his surroundings. The first thing he notices is that there are children everywhere. Many of them have giant inflatable toys or some kind of pink fluff on a stick that he thinks is cotton candy. Almost every set of parents looks tired and frustrated.

The next thing he notices is the smell. It's a mixture of popcorn, something sweet, dirt, sunscreen, and sweat. It seems quite loud already, and they're a dozen rows of cars away from the entrance. 

"It's busier than I imagined it would be," Castiel says loudly.

"And it's Friday night. If the weather is like this tomorrow it's going to be packed!" Dean replies. He slips his hand into Cas's and says, "You better hold on tight. Don't want you to get lost."

Castiel smiles because he knows comments and excuses like these are Dean's way of making it okay to want to be close to him all the time. Maybe one day Dean will feel comfortable just doing it, but until then, he's happy to humour him like this. "There's certainly a lot going on."

"Let's just do a lap around the grounds first to see what's what. Get a feel for the place." Castiel nods his agreement. "Let me know if you feel anything off. Keep your eyes peeled."

"What exactly are we looking for?" Castiel asks.

"No freakin' clue. Something smart enough to abduct somebody without causing a scene and without leaving anything behind for the police to find. Might not even be anything supernatural. Could just be a person."

They enter the fair grounds and Castiel is absolutely enthralled. There is an energy here that is unlike anything else he has experienced before. He likes it very much. The first thing his eyes lock in on is a ticket booth. He reads the sign and sees the prices. "What are the tickets for?" Castiel asks.

"Rides! Best part of the fair, other than the food, of course."

Castiel sees little booths set up side by side with hundreds of toys lining the walls. Some are very small and some of the stuffed animals are bigger than any toy he's ever seen before. It seems like there are different games, and you must win different prizes depending on how well you are at the game, Castiel realizes. He sees a teenager throw a dart at a balloon on the wall and jumps slightly when he hears it pop. "That looks fun," Castiel says and nods in the direction of the game.

"Yah? We'll come back to it. Gotta warn ya though, the games aren't as easy as they look. They're rigged. The carnies just wanna get your money," Dean tells him. 

"I'd still like to try," Castiel insists. 

"Okay, we will," Dean promises. He has a feeling this is going to be an expensive couple of days. Maybe he'll finally learn to say no to Cas.... but probably not. 

The first ride they come to is a merry-go-round for children. Castiel stops in his tracks to watch. He watches it turn in circles while the horses on it pop up and down, and back up again. He hears the happy music and sees the smiles on the children's faces and can't help but smile in return. He has seen so many of these in Heaven, but this is the first he's seen on earth.

"It's a merry-go-round," Dean says. 

"I know," Castiel answers him. "Many children have these in their Heaven. They seem very happy on them. On earth, too," he adds as he nods to the children. 

"Wow," Dean says. "Ya know, I can't think about that. It's too... depressing. Keep moving," he says as he gives him a light shove. 

The next few rides are smaller versions of modes of transportation that go in circles. They walk past cars, boats, and motorbikes that seem to just go in circles. There is one ride that's basically giant monkeys turning in very fast circles and filled with children. Then they see airplanes that go in circles but also go up into the air and then back down, and then Castiel stops in his tracks again and laughs when he sees children sitting inside giant bumblebees swooping up and down. He hears a click and looks over to see Dean taking his picture. 

"You adorable freak," Dean says. "You have the biggest frickin' smile on your face because of those bees."

"I like bees," Castiel says simply. 

"If we could fit I'd drag you on there just to see your reaction, but there's no way the two of us would fit in one bee."

Castiel looks at the size of the children in them and agrees. They would fit one at a time or one adult and one child, but even he knows asking to go on a ride with a small child he doesn't know isn't a good idea. Maybe one day he could have his own child and he could go on with him or her. He smiles happily at the thought. "Maybe another time," Castiel says. 

Dean makes a confused face but shrugs it off and they keep walking again after Castiel has seen his fill. They pass the tallest slide Castiel has ever seen (he is definitely not too big for that), cars that are purposely crashing into each other, and a spinning wheel that's so tall he has to crane his neck all the way back to see it. As they keep walking Castiel notices the children on the rides are getting bigger. Older children. Some of these rides are moving so quickly he can feel the air coming off of them against his face.

He reads the sign on one ride with the title "The Scrambler" and thinks that makes perfect sense. This ride has many arms spinning in large circles, and the smaller cars the people sit in spin inside of that. He imagines the ride gets its name because the people inside feel similar to eggs being scrambled, and he finds some humour in that. Everyone on the ride seems to be laughing and yelling in delight, so it must be more fun than it looks. He will have to try it out sometime. 

"Do you enjoy these kinds of rides?" Castiel asks Dean.

"I've only ever been to a fair once. I spent almost all my money on tickets for the baby rides for Sam, so I only went on the Ferris wheel. I loved it though," he smiles. "One of the best happy memories I have of me and Sam. Why, do you wanna go on some rides?"

"Yes, I would like to try some. But we don't have to do it tonight. We have tomorrow, as well."

"Okay, we'll see how it goes," Dean promises. "I'm starving. Let's see if we can find a place with giant corn dogs. I freaking love those things!"

Castiel thinks it’s strange when they have to walk around a woman sitting on the ground seemingly playing in the sand, but Dean doesn’t say anything so neither does he. Dean orders a foot-long corn dog, two orders of fries, and two slushies for them to eat for dinner. “I’d get you your own corn dog but we have to save room for dessert. Snack food here is the best!” he tells Cas.

They walk around for a while before they can find a seat at an empty picnic table. They sit across from one another and Castiel digs into his French fries while Dean eats most of the corn dog and then passes the last few bites to him. He hasn’t eaten one before and he is pleasantly surprised when it tastes better than it looks. “This is quite good,” he says in reply to Dean’s curious look. “I don’t think I could eat an entire one on my own though.”

“They’re not always this big. It’s a fair thing,” Dean explains as he crams another fry into his already fairly full mouth.

Castiel finishes his corn dog and takes another drink of his slushie. The sugary sweet frozen drink is exactly the kind of thing he loves, and he empties the cup quickly.

“You must not get brain freeze,” Dean comments.

“Brain freeze?”

“You know. When you drink something cold too fast and it makes your head feel like it’s going to explode?”

Castiel shakes his head. “No, I have never experienced that.”

“No wonder you were sucking down those margaritas so fast,” Dean says with a laugh.

Castiel smiles at the memory and then asks, “Did you notice anything while we were walking through the grounds?”

“Nah, just a bunch of kids hyped up on sugar and parents wanting to be anywhere but here. You?”

“Honestly, there’s so much going on all at once I’m not sure if I would pick up on anything even if there was something off. What do we do now?”

“I’ll text Sam for the contact information for the family of the people who disappeared. We’ll see if any of them still live here and then track ‘em down tomorrow. See what they can tell us,” Dean says. “If we don’t have anything to go on after that, we’ll hit the police station and see if we can get a copy of the police reports.”

Castiel frowns. “I imagine the police are working closely on this case already.”

“Yah, I wanna avoid them as much as we can. But if it comes down to it, I’m sure I can charm my way past them even with their backs up.”

“I don’t doubt that,” Castiel replies. They sit for a little bit longer while Dean finishes his drink and Castiel finishes his fries.

“Let’s do one more lap, and then we’ll do a ride or a game or something before we call it a night, okay?”

Castiel agrees and they clasp hands once again when they start moving through the crowd. As the day turns into night, Castiel notices there are fewer smaller children around and the number of teenagers and older children is increasing. He sees many of them holding hands and wrapping their arms around each other and realizes for many young people this would be a fun date. The thought of him and Dean on a date at the fair makes him happy. He knows they’re technically working a case, but they’re also holding hands, so maybe it’s a little bit of both.

The sun is low in the sky now and just as he’s thinking it will be hard to see everything when it gets dark, the lights start to flicker on all around him. Every ride, every game, and every booth has its own set of flashing, colourful lights and it brings a brand-new energy to the place. He looks around with wide eyes and takes in the whole place all over again. _It’s really quite pretty like this_ , he thinks.

As they’re circling the grounds with Castiel’s head turning every which way, he notices a brightly coloured flyer on the side of the ticket booth with fireworks on it. He stops to read and says excitedly, “Dean, they’re having fireworks tonight to celebrate the opening of the fair!”

“Cool,” Dean says, but he doesn’t really think fireworks are really all that exciting. “Says they’ll start when it’s dark, and it’s getting there now so it shouldn’t be much longer. Let’s get a couple tickets for rides, k?”

Castiel frowns. He wants to see the fireworks very much but he also wants to go on a ride, so he ultimately agrees and allows Dean to steer them towards a booth. Once they have their tickets Dean leads the way again and he finds himself in the lineup for the ferris wheel. “This one okay?” Dean asks and Castiel nods.

“I thought you were afraid of heights?” he asks Dean.

“ _What_? No, I’m not,” Dean seems insulted. “Why’d you think that?”

“I thought it played a part in your fear of airplanes,” Castiel explains.

“Nah, that’s just planes. I know these rides aren’t the safest thing in the world, but I’m pretty sure you won’t let me fall to my death even if it does break down,” Dean says.

“Of course, I wouldn’t,” Castiel says. He inspects the mechanics of the ferris wheel more closely. Every bolt seems to be tight and he can’t see anything that would cause it to be unsafe. “In any case, I am relatively certain this ride Is put together correctly.”

“Good thing!” Dean replies.

The line moves slowly and soon enough the sky is completely black. Dean is proud of his timing when they’ve made their way to the front of the line and the fireworks haven't started yet. With any luck, they'll go off when they're in the air. 

“Mister? You’re up,” Dean hears and he looks down to see the kid running the ride standing there with his hand out for his tickets. He presses them into his palm, and pulls Cas lightly so he starts moving up to their car.

He goes on first and Cas comes in behind him. They sit across from each other to balance the car, and once they're seated, it starts to move. Castiel looks uncertain when it starts moving, but soon enough it's stopped again for the next car to unload and load again. The car rocks back and fourth and Castiel looks at Dean in alarm. "It's supposed to do this," he says. "Part of the fun is dangling in midair."

"I will take you word for it," Castiel says. He's not sure how he feels about this thing starting and stopping so frequently. How is it supposed to be fun when you're constantly jarred around in the car? Eventually they make it back to the bottom and Castiel understands that it must be filled with all new people now.

This time when it starts moving around, it doesn't stop. Castiel feels something familiar in his stomach when the wheel goes up and over for the first time, and he feels like his stomach is still in the air when it sinks back down. Once it comes back around again he is used to the feeling and he smiles with anticipation at the next drop. 

"What do you think?" Dean asks. 

"It... it reminds me of flying," Castiel says with a huge grin on his face. "I love it!"

At that exact moment - Dean couldn't have paid for better timing - they both look up as they see the first streak of colour raise into the sky. Dean watches Cas instead of the firework and thinks it’s worth it when he sees the look of wonder on his face as the second one explodes in the air. He can't look away. Cas's hair is flying everywhere, his cheeks are pink from the air hitting them, and he can see the fireworks reflected in his eyes. It takes his breath away. 

He curses himself for not having that ring in his pocket right now, because if there was ever a perfect moment to get down on one knee, this would be it. He remembers the closing fireworks from that flyer and makes a mental note to make sure they stay for them no matter what happens with the case. Because this is where he wants to ask Cas to marry him, and nothing's gonna stop him.

"This is amazing!" Castiel says with feeling. "Isn't it the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?" He asks Dean without looking down from the exploding colours. 

"No," Dean says honestly. Castiel finally makes eye contact with Dean and even though he hates himself for saying such a cheesy line, he has to. "You are. Right now. You're gorgeous, Cas."

Castiel gives Dean one of his favourite gummy smiles and Dean feels it like a shot to the heart. He is so fucking gone on this guy.

"I think this is the most fun I've ever had," Castiel says happily. The finale of the fireworks starts up and soon neither of them can talk over the overlapping blasting. Dean's seen fireworks many times, but never up in the air like this, and never sharing them with someone he loves. These are definitely the best ones he's ever seen. Soon enough they're over, and they're lowered to the ground car by car, and then they're getting off the ride and walking back into the crowd side by side.

"That was amazing!" Castiel declares. "I hope we can go on it again in the daytime. I'd love to see just how far I can see from that vantage point."

"You can ride it a thousand times if it always makes you smile like that," Dean tells him. And even though they're surrounded by people, he doesn't care, and he pulls Cas against him by his hips before he meets his lips with a kiss. Right before he closes his eyes he thinks for a second he sees a flash of light, but figures it's probably just a leftover flash from the fireworks when he blinks. He sucks Cas's lip between his own and feels Cas's hands come up to cup his face. He exhales with a happy sound in is throat and then Cas's tongue lightly touches his own. He could easily make out with him for days, but this isn't the place for that, and he closes his mouth again and ends the kiss with a soft press of lips together. 

Castiel is so full of happiness that a laugh bubbles out of him when he hears somebody whistle their approval of the kiss they just shared. 

"Show's over," Dean says with a small wave and he pulls Cas by the hand to a snack vendor. "I kinda wanna get one of everything so that you can try it all, but we'll be here a few more days, so we don't have to get it all today. You definitely need to try the cotton candy, and I frickin' love the candy apples. That okay with you?"

"I think at this point it's safe to assume you know what I like more than I do," Castiel replies. "I trust your judgement."

Dean orders and pays and then Castiel finds himself with one of the sticks with pink fluff on top he saw earlier. "Cotton candy?" Castiel confirms and Dean nods. "How do I eat this?" He asks. 

Dean reaches over and pinches some between his fingers and tears it off. He stuffs it in his mouth and waits for it to melt on his tongue before he says, "Like that!" 

Castiel laughs and says, "Your tongue is pink."

"Just think how pink you're gonna be by the time you eat all that! Dig in! I'll eat my apple back at the motel so I don't get all sticky," he explains. "We're done here for tonight I think, huh?"

"Yes, I don't think we're going to see anything else tonight. Let's go back to our room."

"Thought you'd never ask," Dean says with a smirk and then they start walking towards the car. 

Castiel finally takes a bite of the cotton candy the way Dean showed him. "Mmmm!" He says happily. He takes another bite and says, "This is unlike anything I've ever had before! It melts right on my tongue!"

"Pretty great, huh? I knew you'd like it. It's pure sugar," Dean laughs. "You're still like a baby in a trench coat." He looks over his shoulder to see the annoyed face Cas makes and then says, "Oh right, a baby in jeans. No trench coat today, thankfully."

"Oh just admit it. You like me in my trench coat," Castiel teases. 

"I like you in anything - and nothing," he adds. 

"No hitting on me until I'm done my treat," Castiel replies. 

"So that's how it is? Cotton candy first, boyfriend second?"

Castiel laughs and says, "So it seems. Don't be jealous, though. It will be gone soon and then you can have me to yourself again."

"Pfft. After my apple, maybe," Dean shoots back and Castiel laughs again. 

"Hey Dean?" He says as they spot Baby in the parking lot. "This was kind of a date, wasn't it?"

Dean considers the question and says, "Yah, I guess the end kinda was. Why?"

Castiel shrugs like Dean always does and says, "I had fun. It was a nice second date."

"In that case..." Dean walks around to the passenger side of the car and opens Cas's door for him. "After you," he exaggerates. Castiel smiles at him and climbs in the car. "Think I'll get to second base on our second date?" Dean jokes and then wonders if second base is still actually second base for two gay guys. Huh. 

"What's second base?" Castiel asks. 

"I actually have no idea," Dean says as he starts the car. "For a guy and a girl it's when you're finally allowed to cop a feel. But for two guys? I don't know. Nipple play? Ass grabbing? I'll have to Google it," he laughs. 

"I think it's safe to say you will have all of the bases covered regardless what Google says about it," Castiel says. 

"Could there _be_ a better boyfriend?" Dean says in his best Chandler Bing impression and the sound of Cas's laughter fills the car as he pulls out of the parking lot. It really was a good date, he realizes happily. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut. Feel free to skip.

They get back to their hotel room around ten o'clock. Dean hasn't peed in hours and hits the bathroom with relief as soon as they get there. Cas is still working on his cotton candy when Dean comes out. Dean changes into pajama pants and loses his plaid button down so he's left with a tshirt on. He grabs the laptop and his candy apple and makes himself comfortable on the bed beside his boyfriend. He hits play on Friends and they watch happily until they're both done their snacks.

Castiel is annoyed when he has to get up to wash his hands of the sticky cotton candy instead of using grace. He thinks he hears Dean snicker at him but decides to ignore it. _Take the high road_ , he thinks. He comes back cleaner and happier and joins Dean on the bed again.

"I didn't even get myself sticky this time," Dean says. "Must finally be a grown up if I can eat this without making a mess," he jokes.

Castiel's focus is back on Friends so he just nods in acknowledgment of Dean's joke and then laughs out loud at something Marcel does in the show. Dean smiles at him and shuffles closer to him to snuggle in a little since their hands are empty now. Besides, he has to be a lot closer to Cas than this if he's gonna get what he wants before bed tonight.

Castiel feels Dean place a hand on his thigh. Not high enough to be obvious, but high enough to be more friendly than a pat on the knee. He's been a little turned on since Dean kissed him like that in front of everybody at the fair, so he isn't complaining about the advance he knows he's about to get. _Dean's going to have to try a little bit harder than that though_ , he thinks. Dean's thumb starts rubbing back and fourth along the denim and Castiel feels a tingle start there and spread through his body. He knows it isn't a blatantly sexual touch, but it's the anticipation. He feels it coming.

It isn't long before Dean's hand slowly makes its way up Castiel's thigh and then his hand rests just below where Castiel is thickening in his jeans. Dean leaves it there for what feels like days without moving, until finally, his thumb starts rubbing back and fourth again. This time it brushes against the bulge of his pants and Castiel bites his bottom lip to smother a moan. He doesn't want to make this too easy for Dean. He knows he's already breathing heavy and his erection has given him away, but he wants to see how far Dean will go before he says anything.

The minutes tick by and then suddenly Dean moves his hand up just a little bit more so he's palming Castiel's erection. He lets it just sit there for a little while and Castiel is struggling not to squirm. Finally, Dean applies just enough pressure to feel really good and Castiel can't help but suck in a breath at the sensation. Dean gives him one more rub and a little squeeze and then sits up to press pause and places the laptop on the floor beside the bed. He lays back down and rolls over so he's pressed against Castiel. Castiel opens his legs to make space for him and he can feel Dean's erection press against his own trapped inside his jeans.

Dean rolls his hips suggestively and then says, "Let me give you a hand with that, angel." He places his hand back on to Cas's thigh where he started and runs his hand all the way up to palm him again, before he flips open the button and pulls down the fly. He reaches inside his pants and grasps Cas's fully hard cock over his boxers and positions it so he won't be uncomfortable. "There," he says.

"That's not exactly what I had in mind," Castiel says dryly and Dean laughs.

"We'll get there. I'm hard as a fucking rock already," he says.

"You and me both."

Castiel feels Dean's arms slip under his back and Dean lifts him to pull him further down on the bed so Dean can be on top of him and still kiss him. Dean braces his hands on the bed to hold himself up and leans in to nibble on Castiel's bottom lip. It feels divine. Dean licks a line across the seam of his lips and Castiel eagerly opens his mouth for him. Dean dives in and Castiel allows his tongue to explore every inch of Dean's mouth like he's been wanting to since Dean kissed him at the fair. He hears himself moan against Dean's lips and Dean gives another roll of his hips to push their erections together.

Castiel pushes up against him and then they continue to rub up against each other as they lose themselves in their kisses. Some time later Castiel lifts his arms to push up Dean's shirt to get access to the hard muscles on his back. He _loves_ his back. Every time he touches him he can feel how strong he is and it excites him to feel weak for once. They both know when it comes to muscle, Dean has him beat by a long shot and he loves it. Dean sits up enough to let Castiel pull his shirt over his head and then pulls Castiel up to sitting so that Dean can pull his shirt off, too.

Castiel stays sitting so that he can let his mouth roam across Dean's chest. Dean sinks his hands into Castiel's hair and Castiel moans again. It always feels so good when Dean pulls on his hair, and when Castiel runs his tongue across Dean's nipple he feels a sharp tug and rewards Dean by biting down. Dean hisses and fists his hands in Castiel's hair. Castiel looks up at Dean with a smirk and says, "Huh. Looks like I got to second base first."

Dean pushes Castiel back down on to the bed and Castiel isn't surprised when he feels Dean suck his nipple in revenge. Dean rolls the hardened nipple between his fingers and says, "I always liked second base," before Castiel feels the other nipple sucked between Dean's swollen lips. He quickly trails his tongue down Castiel's middle and Castiel feels a wet line being licked just under the elastic waistband of his boxers. Dean dips his fingers underneath and Castiel lifts his hips so Dean can pull them all the way down for him. Dean sits up on his knees and pulls his own pajama pants down before slipping them off one leg at a time.

Dean kisses his way back up the inside of Castiel's thighs and Castiel actually is squirming in anticipation now that he knows where Dean is headed. Dean runs his hands up and down the thick line of muscle of his thigh and really takes his time nibbling every inch of skin he can find. He moves up (a little too high if you ask Castiel) to scrape his teeth along his jutting hip bones and Castiel feels his hips move all on their own.

"Dean, come on," Castiel begs.

The look Dean gives Castiel sets fire to his body. He is about to get payback for something, but he doesn't know what. "Tell me," Dean says mockingly and then Castiel gets it. He has been making Dean say what he wants out loud so now Dean is going to do the same to him. He has been trying to use more appropriate language in bed lately anyway, so he tries, "I want you to suck my cock," and then has to add, "please."

Castiel swears he can see Dean's pupils dilate with pleasure before he huffs out a laugh, and shakes his head in affection. He does as Castiel asks though, and finally grips his throbbing cock in his hand. He strokes it a couple of times before Castiel watches the tip of his cock disappear between two perfectly plump lips. He wants to throw his head back in pleasure but he wants to watch this more. He enjoys oral sex more than anything, and a large part of the reason is watching those lips wrapped around himself. It's _so_ erotic and he will never tire of watching.

"You're incredible," Castiel babbles. "Always feels so good when you do this for me," Castiel praises Dean. Dean sinks his head down lower and Castiel groans, "You look so good with your lips wrapped around me." Dean hums around him and Castiel thrusts upwards without meaning to. "Sorry," he says sheepishly. "That just feels _so_ good." Dean catches his eye and he knows he's forgiven. Dean has managed to get a little bit more of his erection into his mouth each time he's done this, and Castiel is amazed when he sees Dean has almost swallowed him down whole.

Just seeing his cock disappear into Dean's mouth like that is so incredibly arousing. Next he hears those choking sounds Dean makes when he's trying to take him deeper and those sounds are so pornographic and so filthy he thrusts up again. "Dean, I'm close," he warns him and Dean pulls off with a smirk.

He wipes his hand on the back of his hand and says, "Lube, my side of the bed in the drawer."

"I don't need -"

"No grace," Dean reminds him. "You need it."

Castiel scowls again at the inconvenience but passes it to Dean all the same. Dean squirts it on to his finger and then Castiel feels it tracing his rim for a second before it pushes against his hole. He tries to relax and feels the slight but fantastic burn as Dean pushes one finger into him and starts thrusting. This time his hips move down and Dean says, "You want this, hm?"

" _Yes_ ," Castiel answers immediately. "Missed you inside of me. I want you."

Dean must take that as permission because a second lubed up finger pushes inside of him on the next thrust. There's almost no burn because he's so open for Dean. He wants this so badly. Two fingers are so much better than one. Castiel feels Dean's fingers scissoring inside of him, stretching him open, making room for Dean's thick cock and soon he moans. "More," he says. "No grace, and I can still take it. Please," he begs.

" _Fuck_ I love it when you're like this just for me," Dean says and then he adds more lube and his third finger. Castiel whines as they enter him because this is even better. _Yes_ , this is how he likes to feel, he realizes as Dean's fingers move inside of him slowly. Stretched. Full. This is so close to perfect. Dean twists his hand and crooks his fingers to hit the right spot inside of him and Castiel whines again.

"Dean! Dean it feels _so good_ ," Castiel pants.

"You ready for me?" Dean says and Castiel notices his voice is rough as sandpaper now.

"Yes," he breathes. "I'm ready for you to fuck me."

Dean lets out a moan and then Castiel watches as he squirts lube on his hand and spreads it over his dick. He's dripping with precum at the tip, flushed and ready for Castiel. Dean makes eye contact as he strokes himself and Castiel feels desire move like fire through his body. Dean's so incredibly attractive, and when he touches himself like that and looks at Castiel he feels like he's about to be eaten alive. "Keep going," Castiel tells him and Dean quirks a brow but continues to stroke himself. Castiel watches greedily. Eventually he says, "Don't forget the tip," Castiel instructs him as he realizes he's purposely avoiding it, likely trying not to stimulate himself too much. Castiel watches as Dean shudders and his eyes close tight when he runs his palm over the tip of his cock. "Tell me how it feels," Castiel says.

"Feels unbelievable," Dean groans instantly as his hand slips down to pump his cock again. "I'm so fucking horny."

"I could watch you come like this," Castiel tells him. "You could make _me_ come like this. You look amazing. So strong. So manly. I can't believe I get to have you inside of me."

" _Fuck_ ," Dean hisses. "Let's do this before it's too late," Dean says and then he drops so that he's between Castiel's legs again. Castiel is more than ready for him. He feels Dean's cock nudge against his hole and he pushes down to speed this up as much as possible. He wants him inside now.

"Fuck me, Dean," Castiel asks him. Dean's hips push forwards and they both moan when he can sink all the way inside in one stroke. " _Yes_!" Castiel gasps.

"So fucking tight, Cas. Feels so good," Dean says and he drops to his elbows so he can kiss Castiel sloppily. "Love you," he says.

Castiel feels happiness burst in his chest and he says, "I love you," back to his mate. He doesn't want it like this though. He doesn't want soft and sweet right now. He feels like he's been so close to the edge for so long that he just wants to come. "Again," Castiel says as he pushes his hips down into Dean. Dean pulls almost all the way out and then sinks into him again. "Harder," Castiel asks. Dean pulls out again and then slams back into him and they both groan again. "Like that," Castiel tells him.

Dean does it two, three, four more times before Castiel can tell Dean's getting close. Dean drops to one elbow and grabs a hold of Castiel's cock but doesn't stop thrusting. Dean's hand is still slippery from his own cock and Castiel jerks up into it at the thought of Dean stroking himself again. " _Dean_ ," he breathes and Dean leaves open mouthed kisses everywhere he can reach. Castiel feels heat gathering in his stomach and knows he's almost there. Dean finds a nipple and sucks as his hand keeps pumping him long and smooth.

"Cas, come on baby, I'm so close," Dean begs. Dean catches Castiel's nipple between his teeth and pulls, then twists his wrist the way they both know Castiel likes. "Come, Cas. Come for me, Castiel," and hearing his name on Dean's lips sends him over the edge. He feels Dean's thrusts get more frantic and seconds later he can feel heat spreading inside of him even as he is still coming in thick streams over Dean's hand. Dean falls on to Castiel as the last of it is worked out by Dean's hand and then Castiel feels both of their bodies relax together.

Dean plants a few soft kisses to the side of his neck and says, "Mmmmph."

Castiel chuckles and says, "Me, too."

Dean pushes up to his elbows to kiss Castiel once more before he pulls out. "I'll get a cloth to clean this up."

Castiel is left literally sitting in the mess they made and it is not a nice feeling. Very dirty. Much dirtier than he's used to being. Dean comes back with a wet cloth and tenderly spreads Castiel's legs. He places a kiss on the inside of each thigh and then softly cleans him with the warm cloth. He then cleans his stomach just as gently, places a kiss on the clean surface, and finally wipes himself before he lets the cloth drop on the floor beside the bed and slides into the nook that he loves so much.

Castiel lets his arms wrap around him and he kisses Dean on the forehead. "Thank you. That was... intimate. In a very nice way."

"Like taking care'o'you," Dean slurs.

Castiel can't resist kissing his forehead one more time. "Let's get our pajamas on before you fall asleep naked."

"Mmmm kay," Dean says and unwinds himself from his boyfriend reluctantly. They get dressed for bed in silence and then Dean goes to brush his teeth and brings the cloth with him to rinse it out.

Castiel is waiting for him under the covers, and Dean switches off the lamp and climbs in where he belongs happily.

"Night, angel. Love'ou," Dean says sleepily.

"I love you, as well, Dean. So very, very much. Sleep well."

And they both do.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much fluff here. I don't know why I write like this!

The next morning Dean and Cas wake up tangled together as usual. Happiness permeates Castiel for a few minutes before he gets a whiff of the two of them. Between the dirt at the fair, the sweat from the sun, and sex from last night… it is not a good smell.

“We stink,” Dean hears Cas grumble against his back before he feels an arm thrown over him to pull him closer.

“Yah, that’s mostly me,” Dean relents. “You just smell like sex.”

“We need to shower,” Cas complains. “I _hate_ showers.”

Dean wiggles his ass into Cas and says, “I think I can make it worth your while.”

Cas scrunches his nose and says, “Ask me again when you smell better.”

Dean laughs and shuffles away to swing his legs off of the bed. He rolls his shoulders as his feet hit the floor and then he pads towards the bathroom.

Castiel hears the distinct sound of Dean relieving himself and turns to see the door wide open. He shakes his head fondly at Dean and his lack of modesty, and wonders if he will ever be that comfortable in front of anybody. A large part of him hopes the answer is no, and he chuckles at himself for even thinking it. He hears the shower turn on and he goes to join his boyfriend under the hot, steamy water.

Turns out Dean was right; it was definitely worth the shower to have the kind of sex they just had. Castiel wonders if he’ll still be strong enough to hold Dean’s body up against the wall if he decides to remove his grace. Even if he isn’t, he feels confident they’ll find a way to make it work. There’s something very arousing about washing each other’s bodies, and he doubts the day will come when they can share a shower without something sexual happening between them.

Dean is dressed in jeans and a maroon and gray plaid shirt over a black t-shirt. Castiel is still toweling off his body (Dean makes fun of him for having to be completely dry before he’ll get dressed) when Dean calls Sam for addresses of the missing people. Castiel turns towards the sound of the phone ringing and realizes Dean has it on speaker phone. He smiles at him because he knows Dean did it to make him feel included in every step of the case.

“Dean,” Sam says instead of hello.

“Heyya, Sammy. Miss me yet?” Dean asks with a smile.

“Definitely miss the cooking,” Sam replies.

Castiel pulls on his boxer briefs and adds, “Hello, Sam.”

“Hey Cas, ready to kill him yet?” Sam asks with a hint of a joke in his voice.

“Not yet,” Cas answers, and then adds, “but we just woke up.”

“Shut up, you love me,” Dean says and Castiel smiles wide as he pulls on his jeans.

“Did you call me for a reason or did _you_ actually miss me?” Sam teases.

“Little bit of both,” Dean says and Sam laughs. “Checked out the fair yesterday and nothing really jumped out at us. We’re gonna need the addresses for the vic’s family and friends.”

“I can do that. I’ll text it to you,” Sam says.

“Thanks man. Don’t geek out too much without me around.”

“Cas, call me if he’s a dick,” Sam says in response and Castiel laughs. He pulls a bright blue waffle-knit Henley over his head and then ruffles his hair back into place with his hands.

“Shut up, bitch,” Dean says and he’s already smiling in anticipation of the answer.

“Bye, jerk,” Sam says and they both hang up.

“You miss working with him,” Castiel says to Dean.

Dean shrugs a shoulder which is as much of an admission as Castiel’s likely to get out of him. “It’s just different. But not bad different. I like working with you,” Dean explains. He walks towards Cas and loops his arms around his waist. “It definitely has its perks,” and his eyebrows bounce up and down.

“I wish I didn’t find you so adorable,” Castiel says, eyes dancing as his hands rest on Dean’s chest. “I feel like I’m encouraging bad behavior.”

“Why do you think I like you so much?” Dean replies. “Hey, you hungry?”

Castiel thinks about it as his hands move up to wind around Dean’s neck. “I could eat. And I could definitely use a cup of coffee.”

“Good, I’m starving. Let’s find an IHOP!” Dean says excitedly and drops his hands to pull out his phone to find one. “Seven minutes away. I’m sold, let’s go,” he says and pulls Cas out the door.

When they are seated in a small booth inside the closest IHOP, Dean and Cas order their coffees and then check out the menus. Castiel is immediately overwhelmed by so many different breakfast choices and puts his menu down without looking anymore.

“Know what you want already?” Dean asks him.

“Impossible. There’s too many choices. Would you mind choosing something for me?” he asks.

“I know just the thing,” Dean says with a smile. “Unless you think there’s such a thing as too sweet?”

Castiel considers it and then gives a tiny nod, “No, I don’t think so.”

“You’re on,” Dean says with a wide smile.

When the waitress comes back with their coffees Dean transfers that smile to her and has to swallow his laugh when she baubles the tray slightly, but recovers enough not to spill it. “Well I’ll be damned if you carrying that coffee isn’t the best thing I’ve seen so far today,” he flirts.

She blushes furiously and says, “I feel that way about coffee most days, too,” and Dean has to give her props for being able to make normal conversation when she’s obviously so flustered. “Have you decided what you’re going to have yet?”

“Bacon Temptation Omelet for me – I never could resist temptation –“ he says with a wink at her, and smiles at her giggle. “With a side of pancakes. And Cas here is gonna try the Sticky Bun Waffles.”

“You got it,” she says. “Shouldn’t be too long.”

She is just out of earshot when Castiel says, “You really can’t resist flirting with waitresses, can you?”

“It’s a gift,” he teases. “Least you don’t get mad anymore.”

“I realized fairly quickly I’d be angry every time we went somewhere to eat if I couldn’t let it go,” he says dryly. “Besides, you aren’t actually attracted to her.”

"How do you know?" Dean asks. 

"I've seen you look at me for the last few weeks, Dean. I know what it looks like when you’re attracted to somebody." He lowers his voice and leans in a little bit closer to say, "I know what it looks like when you're begging for me." He watches Dean's throat as he works to swallow down what Castiel can only assume is desire. He raises his voice back to normal talking level and says, "So it's easy for me to see the difference between attraction and when you're just flirting because you like the attention."

Dean laughs because fuck if Cas doesn't have figured him out. He _does_ like when he's the centre of attention. "You think you know me so well," he teases him.

"Don't I?" Castiel asks cockily. 

Half of Dean wants to keep going with the witty banter but the truth is hanging there between them too, and because they're alone and there's nobody to tease him, he goes with that. "In a lot of ways, better than anybody." Dean watches Cas as the words sink in and adds, "And I wouldn't want it any other way."

Cas reaches across the table and Dean covers his hand with his own happily. Castiel smiles and says, "How did I get so lucky?"

Dean huffs out a laugh. "You know how many times a day I ask myself that about you?" Cas smiles wider and Dean says, "You ever wonder if this is, ya know, too easy?"

"You and I?" Cas clarifies and Dean nods. "Why should it be hard?"

Dean lifts a shoulder. "Always was for me before. Never been easy to be with somebody like it is with you."

"What was hard before?" Cas asks, and Dean can tell he's genuinely curious. 

"I dunno. I guess I always felt like I had to try to be this... other version of myself, ya know? Couldn't hunt. Had to stay in one place. Tryin to be happy only having sex once or twice a week..." He pauses when he sees Cas's eyes widen in surprise. "Yah, tell me about it." 

"We have sex once or twice _a day_ ," Cas says. 

"And it's freaking great," Dean says with feeling. "I know it probably won't always be like this, but I gotta say I don't think once a week is ever gonna cut it for me, Cas."

"I can't imagine how that could ever happen. I don't understand how anybody could ever lay next to you every night and not want to touch you. I'm certainly unable to," Castiel admits with a small smile. "I will admit that for me it doesn't always have to be sexual, but I definitely crave physical intimacy with you. Many times throughout any given day I struggle with wanting to be closer to you."

"Why not just come closer then?" Dean asks. 

"I don't want to bother you," Cas says with half a smile. 

"Like I'd mind," Dean scoffs. "I mean, if I'm doing laundry or cooking or something I guess I don't want you hanging off of me while I'm trying to get shit done. But if we're laying around and not doing anything, there is no such thing as bothering me."

"To answer your original question, I think it's easy between us because it's right. You don't have to try to be anybody else with me. I already knew you - the good and the bad - before we got together. I don't want you to stop hunting, and I don't want to take you away from your home or your brother. For the time being, I am more than happy with he life we have together."

"For the time being?" Dean echoes.

"We don't have to talk about the future right now," Castiel smiles easily. "We don't need to put any kind of pressure on one another. We're happy."

Dean thinks it over. "Okay, okay. Just tell me one thing you want to have some day that you don't have now?" Dean asks. 

Castiel gives him the second answer that comes to mind. "I would like to have a garden some day," he says with a small little smile. 

Dean gives his hand a little squeeze and says, "Ya know, I can see that. You in a garden surrounded by flowers and vegetables and bumblebees." Dean paints a picture for him with his words, "Knees brown from the dirt, big stupid hat on your head that should look dumb as shit but actually looks adorable. You sneaking vegetables into my food and me pretending I don't know they're in everything you cook but we both actually know I don't mind because you grew them." Cas's smile is full of hope, and though Dean doesn't know how he's going to make it happen, he says, "I'll give you your garden some day, Cas."

Castiel knows his eyes shine with happiness. "Your turn. Tell me something you want in the future that you don't have now."

 "I never really let myself think about that kinda thing," Dean says in an attempt to brush off the question. “Who knows how long I’ll be around.”

"A very long time," Cas says seriously. "So, think about it. We've got time."

Dean takes a drink from his coffee cup and when he puts it down he keeps staring at it as he says, “I want to get married some day.”

Castiel smiles as he takes in Dean’s body language. Dean expresses himself using his body easily with Castiel, which is unlike him in most other circumstances. He looks at the way Dean’s head is dipped towards the table, how he won’t look up to meet his eyes, and the way his shoulders are slumped. He’s certain that if Dean were to look up right now he would see a blush across his cheeks, because he knows he’s embarrassed to want to get married in the first place (something he would think women dream about, not men), and likely more embarrassed to say it out loud to the angel he’s only been dating for three weeks.

“I do as well,” Castiel replies and he smiles when Dean’s head whips up to look him in the eyes. “I never did before you mentioned it in Florida, of course. But now, with you, I want to. Some day,” Castiel adds. He can see both a shadow of fear and happiness in Dean’s eyes and wants to make him feel better. He thinks for a second and then says, “Neither of us have to wear a dress though, right?”

That works. Dean relaxes as he laughs and Castiel feels better, too. “Only if you want to,” he jokes.

“I’d rather not,” Castiel smiles.

Just then Dean notices their waitress coming back with their breakfast. She places it in front of them and Dean is thrilled at the pile of bacon on top of his omelet. “This looks fan-freaking-tastic!” he says excitedly and Castiel has to agree.

“Let me know if you two need anything else,” the waitress says before she takes off again.

Castiel looks down at his breakfast. It’s smothered in what looks like icing. He dips his finger into it and tastes it. Very sweet, but delicious. “Am I meant to put anything else on these? Syrup or something?” Castiel asks.

Dean looks at them and makes a face of uncertainty. “No idea. Give it a shot like that and see what you think?” he suggests.

Dean watches as Cas cuts a small sliver and brings the fork to his mouth. He nods as he chews, and once he’s swallowed he says to Dean, “Very good. It tastes more like a dessert than breakfast, but I like it very much. Do you want to try?”

Dean opens his mouth as an answer and Cas smiles before he cuts another piece and then feeds it to Dean across the table. “Yep, that’s good!” Dean agrees. They eat in silence for a few minutes before Dean says, “So. Married. Means wedding. You uh, want a big fancy wedding, Cas?”

Cas shakes his head before answering. “No, I don’t think so. Just big enough so that people who care about me can be there. And I would like to dance with y-“ he catches himself almost in time and smiles sheepishly before he says, “I would like to dance at my wedding, as well.” He has a feeling that speaking in generalities will make this conversation easier for Dean.

“Oh yah, I wanna have all that stuff. The cake cutting, and the first dance, the stupid speeches. Pretty much everything except the dress and the garter and flower toss,” he laughs. “Only thing that sucks is that it could never be legal. I could never be married as Dean Winchester. So, I’d have to do the whole wedding thing and just not do the legal part.”

“Technically, I don’t even exist to your government. So, I understand,” Castiel says.

“Wow, how fucked up are we?” Dean laughs, “Made for each other, huh, Cas?” Dean says and he winks at him.

“I like to think so,” Castiel replies.

Dean hears his phone go off and stuffs his last big bite of pancake into his mouth before he reaches into his pocket to pull it out. “Got the addresses of two people we can interview,” Dean says around his mouthful of food.

“Guess we’ll have to change into our FBI suits,” Cas says darkly.

“Aw, man. I just remembered that I accidentally left your trench coat back at the bunker,” Dean says sarcastically.

Cas narrows his eyes and says, “Next time I’m going to leave _you_ at the bunker,” and Dean cracks up laughing. Sometimes he sees so much of himself in Cas, and it makes him damn happy when Cas turns snarky on him.

“Good one,” he says with a smile.

Not long after that, the waitress comes back to drop off their bill, and they pay, and then like Cas said, they go back to the motel to change into their suits. They’re both in their dress pants and dress shirts, when Castiel goes to help Dean get his arm into his suit jacket. Then, he grabs the tie off of the bed beside them and drapes it around Dean’s neck before he begins to knot it for him methodically. Dean watches the way his long and somehow graceful fingers work the knot and he feels his heart flip in his chest. Cas secures the knot and his eyes flick up to meet Dean’s.

The look on his face must give some of what he’s feeling away because Cas gives a quick tug on his tie and he finds himself reeled into a kiss. He feels himself sink into it and he pulls Cas closer to him by his hips. When their bodies are pressed together he makes a soft hum of appreciation against Cas’s mouth. His Cas. He only allows himself to linger for a moment, because he knows how easily one of them (or both of them) can get carried away. He breaks away slowly and leaves a few quick, chaste kisses on his Cas’s lips before he backs up all the way.

Wordlessly, Dean moves to pick up Cas’s jacket and holds it out for him to shrug into. Then he gets Cas’s tie and copies his movements to knot his tie for him in the same way Cas did his. Cas’s voice is deep and rough when he says, “This is nice.”

Dean feels that flip in his chest again and smiles warmly at him. He leans in for one more kiss once he’s knotted the tie and then he rests his forehead against Cas’s. This is one of those moments when what they have together is just so simple and so perfect, he can hardly believe he finally has this. “Love you,” Dean says quietly.

Cas kisses him on the cheek and pulls him all the way in to wrap his arms around him for a hug. “I love you, too, Dean,” he breathes happily. He lets go a moment later and says, “Let’s go hunt.” And when they walk out of the room holding hands, Dean has yet another one of those moments when he thinks just how lucky he is.


	13. Chapter 13

"Okay," Dean begins as he pulls the car on to the road. "First vic we're going to concentrate on is Kassidy. She's 31 years old, left behind a little kid and a husband, and a freaking huge extended family that hasn't stopped looking for her in four years. She was the first one who disappeared that we know of. Sam says the police had it marked as a runaway before the second vic disappeared."

"Why would she want to run away from her family?" Cas asks.

"That's something we're gonna have to ask. Her husband and her mom are both gonna be there for us to talk to, so hopefully they'll give us something to go on," Dean says.

They pull into the double driveway of a very nice looking house and Dean turns to Cas and says, "Make sure you try to resist my charm in there. We're work partners right now, not gay partners," he says with a wink.

"I'll see what I can do," Cas replies. They climb out of the Impala and Dean goes to knock on the door. They both pull their badges out of their jacket pockets and then the door opens.

A man is standing there and Dean says, "Steven? I'm Agent Tyler and this is my partner, Agent Spears," they both flash their badges. "I believe you were expecting us?"

"Uh yah. Just Steve though, Steven’s when I’m in trouble," Steve says awkwardly. "Come on in. Ryder’s here right now so it might be a little crazy, but Sherry is here to help too."

"It's no problem," Cas replies as they step into the house. "Is there somewhere we can sit and talk?"

"Yah, we can just go into the living room. Leave your shoes on, I do it all the time," he tells them as he leads them up a small staircase and holds open a baby gate for them. He gestures towards the couch and then snaps the gate closed behind them.

A little boy comes running into the room at full speed and then stops in his tracks when he sees Cas and Dean sitting on his couch. "Ryder, these are two police officers here to talk about mommy."

Two big brown eyes turn to focus on them before he wraps an arm around his dad's leg. "Are you going to find my mommy?" He asks them.

"We're gonna do our very, very best," Dean says.

"You must miss her very much," Cas adds and the little boy nods his head. "I know wherever she is, she misses you too, and she loves you. We're going to talk to your daddy now and see if he can give us some clues to work with, okay?"

"Coz you're p'licemen," Ryder says. "Do you got guns?"

"We do, but only because we're police officers," Dean answers.

"To shoot the bad guys!" Ryder exclaims, and then he points his fingers like guns and starts shooting everything in sight as he runs back down the hallway and disappears into a room.

Steve flashes a big smile and says, "Sorry. Boys and guns, you know."

"We do," Dean tells him. "So, we know you've been over this a few times already, but we have some questions for you."

"Of course, anything I can do to help," he says. He goes to sit on a comfortable looking chair beside the couch.

"Is there any reason your wife would have wanted to run away?" Dean asks.

"I've been asking myself that for four years," Steve replies. "I know being a mom was hard for her. She was so hard on herself for not wanting to be home with Ryder during the day and choosing to go back to work instead, but everybody could see it made her happier to work. And she was happy. Some days she was tired because he kept her up at night, but I would have known if she was really unhappy."

"Were the two of you getting along alright?" Cas asks.

"I was working a lot because I just bought my own garage two years before she disappeared. But that's what we both wanted. When we spent time together, we were fine. It was easy, you know?"

Cas wants to exchange a smile with Dean but instead keeps his smile to himself. "I do," he says.

"Is there any chance she was having an affair?" Dean asks.

"No way. She never would have had time. She was always so busy with everything around here."

"You were there the day at the fair when she disappeared, correct?" Dean asks.

"Yes. She went to the ATM to get some cash out so Ryder could play a game. I had her in my sight almost the entire time. A crowd of people walked by and then when they passed I couldn't see her anymore. We waited a few minutes and she didn't come back. I texted her and called her and she never answered, and that's when I started to worry."

"I know you already said you didn't see anything, but I'm curious if you felt anything weird? A cold spot on a hot day, maybe? Smell anything off? Anything weird that stood out at all," Dean prompts him.

Steven seems to think it over and finally he says, "Nothing like that. It's going to sound stupid, but..."

"Any small detail can help," Cas prompts him.

"There was a lady sitting on the ground by one of the vendors next to the ATM. Ryder pointed her out because he was tired and wanted to sit on the ground like the lady. But it was hot, and there were big line ups, so I just figured she was tired."

"Do you remember if she was still there when you noticed Kassidy was missing?" Cas asks.

Steven thinks. "I didn't notice. I don't know. Do you think she could have had something to do with it?"

"I haven't heard anything about a lady on the ground until now, so I couldn't say," Dean answers.

"She seemed pretty small. I don't know that she could have overpowered Kass, so unless she left with her voluntarily..." Steven thinks out loud.

"Would Kassidy do something like that?" Dean asks.

"No. I think even if she thought she was just going to help somebody for a minute, she would have let me know. She knew Ryder was waiting to play the game and it's no secret how impatient two year olds are. She wouldn't have made him wait."

"Okay," Dean nods. "Anything else you think we should know?"

"I wish I could think of something," Steven said sadly. "Did you want to talk to my mother-in-law while you're here?"

"That would be a great help, thank you," Cas says.

"I'll go get her and we can switch places. Let me know if you think of anything else you want to ask," he says.

Turns out Kassidy's mom didn't have much to add. She is a no-nonsense kind of woman and Dean believed every word she said. She answered their questions eagerly and confirmed Steven's comments about Kassidy being happy in her marriage and with her life. The only interesting tidbit they got from her was absolute certainty that Kassidy would have never in a million years left her family or her mom without saying goodbye. Dean and Cas left a card and promised to let them know if they get a break in the case.

They get back into the Impala and Dean lets out a sigh. "That was a bust."

"I'm not sure if it's worth mentioning or not, but I saw a woman sitting down beside a food vendor when we were at the fair yesterday as well," Cas says.

Dean shrugs a shoulder. "It was hot. People get tired. It was hard for us to find a place to sit, too, remember? I don't think it means anything."

"I can't imagine what it could possibly mean. I just thought I would mention it," Cas says. "Where to next?"

"This is the third person who disappeared. Her name is Kristen. She's 30, has two kids with two different baby daddies, was dumped by her fiancé about six months before she disappeared."

"Where are her children now?" Cas asks.

"The fiancé wouldn't take both kids because only one of them is his, so her mom fought him in court to get primary custody of both kids to keep them together and won."

"Good," Cas says.

"That's who we're gonna go talk to next. Name's Judy," he says.

It's a bit of a drive, but almost a half an hour later they pull into the driveway. A short but sturdy woman comes to the door with a toddler in her arms. They introduce themselves and show their badges, and they're lead into the kitchen and take a seat at the kitchen table.

"I know you weren't there the day she disappeared, but can you fill us in about exactly what happened?"

She sighs. "From what the police say, Kristen put both kids on the motorcycle ride. When the ride ended, the attendant got them off and then realized there was no parent waiting for them. They didn't even know who to look for at first, and Noah wouldn't talk to the attendant. Faith wasn't even two, but she was always so smart, and they managed to get Kristen's name from her. By the time the police got there to help, too much time had passed and everybody who they talked to insists they didn't see anything."

"What do you think happened to her?" Dean asks.

"Honestly? I go round and round in my head about it. Some days I think she must have just gotten too tired of trying so hard to keep it together and she ran away. But I refuse to believe she would have just left the kids alone at the fair when she easily could have left them here and just not returned after work one day. I know she was having a hard time, but she loves these kids and she wouldn't have put them through that if she didn't have to."

"So, you think she was abducted then?" Cas checks.

"Must have been. I know she wouldn't have went without a fight though - she was so strong and had such a feisty personality - and nobody saw anything at all. So, I just don't understand it. It's like she just disappeared into thin air."

"The kids didn't see anything?" Dean says.

"Noah still won't talk about it, and Faith was so small," she says and gives the little girl sitting on her lap a little pat on the head.

Faith seems to take that as an invitation to talk and she says, "Tinker Belle!"

Dean laughs. "You into Peter Pan?"

Faith shakes her head and her pig tails flap against her head. "Tinker Belle was at the fair!" She insists.

Judy smiles, "She says that all the time. I think there must have been Tinker Belle inflatable toys as a prize at one of the booths."

"Tinker Belle was flying!" Faith says and Cas and Dean both smile at her enthusiasm.

"Gotta love a kid with an imagination," Dean says. "Well, I think that's all we have to ask for now. If we need anything else, we know where to find you." Dean stands.

"Thank you for your time," Cas says.

"Well, we got a whole pile of nothing," Dean says as he slides behind the wheel.

"Disappointing," Cas agrees. "Are we just going to go back to the fair for the day and see if we can catch somebody in the act?"

"I dunno. Don't really have a better idea. Gotta change out of the monkey suits first though."

"It's terribly uncomfortable, isn't it?"

"The fucking worst," Dean agrees.

They're driving for a little while before Cas says, "Faith was adorable, wasn't she?"

"Biggest blue eyes I've ever seen. Not as blue as yours," Dean adds. "But yah, she was cute."

"I found her persistence about Tinker Belle endearing," Cas smiles. "I bet she throws quite a temper tantrum when she's angry."

"Tinker Belle," Dean snorts. "Frickin' fairies."

Suddenly Cas's arm shoots out and he squeezes Dean's bicep. "Dean!"

"What!?" Dean asks in alarm.

" _Fairies_!" Cas exclaims. "Fairies abduct people to bring them back to Avalon!"

"Maybe Faith could see them?" Dean says. "Can kids see fairies?" He asks Cas.

"I'm not sure. I haven't been exposed to many children," Cas says.

"She seemed pretty damn sure for a kid. And Tinker Belle is a fairy," Dean thinks. "You know, last night after the Ferris wheel, right before we kissed, I thought I saw a flash of light. But I just chalked it up to the fireworks. Maybe it was a fairy?"

"I forgot that you can see them. That should certainly make it easier if that's what we're dealing with. Even angels can only see them as they are if they choose to reveal themselves," Cas says. "I've never seen one."

"They can choose to look like humans if they want to, so it makes sense they wouldn't have stood out to anybody. Twice the people disappeared in the middle of the day and twice at night, so we can't narrow down a timeframe. All four were women, but there'll be hundreds of chicks there today. Probably even more tomorrow," Dean says.

"We could try to lure them with cream," Cas says.

Dean shrugs. "Better than nothing, I guess. Still feels like we're searching for a needle in a haystack."

"Perhaps Sam will know another way of luring them? Maybe something in the bunker we didn't have access to before?"

"That's a good idea," Dean says. "I'll call him and ask him."

"I could call him if you want since you're driving?" Cas offers.

"Oh, yah, sure. Makes sense," Dean says.

Castiel pulls his cell phone out and puts it on speaker phone like Dean did earlier. Sam picks up and says, "Hey Cas!"

"Hello, Sam," Castiel replies.

"What's up buddy?" He asks.

"Frickin fairies," Dean says.

"You think you're dealing with fairies? Shit!" Sam says.

"It was just so much fun last time," Dean says sarcastically.

"We were wondering if there was anything in any of the Men of Letters books or archives about fairies that you didn't know about the last time you dealt with them?" Castiel asks.

"I haven't looked for anything, but I can. I'll call you guys back," he says and then the line goes dead.

Dean smiles, "Give the geek a job and he forgets all phone manners."

"I'm sure he was just excited to be able to help you."

"Me? He's way nicer to you on the phone than he is to me," Dean says.

"You're nicer to me than you are to him, too," Cas says.

"I have to be nice to you," Dean jokes.

"Sam probably feels like he has to be nice to me, too. I don't believe you would react well if he wasn't."

"True. But that's not why he's nice to you, Cas. He likes you."

"I'm glad," Cas replies.

"Huh. Guess I never really thought about how much it would suck you didn't get along. Definitely lucked out."

"I'm the lucky one. I got a boyfriend _and_ a best friend. Maybe one day a brother," Cas smiles.

"Ya think I'm a sure thing, huh?"

"I'm fairly confident," Cas says back. "But we have all the time in the world to see if I'm right."

Dean looks over at him and they share a smile. He thinks for a second that he should be freaking out after marriage coming up so many times in one day, but he's really not. He's ready for this, and he can't wait to blow Cas's mind when he finally gets to tell him.

They get back to their hotel room and immediately, both Cas and Dean switch back into the clothes they had on earlier. Dean barely has his jeans up over his hips before he’s saying, “God, that’s so much better already.” And Cas chuckles because he obviously agrees.

“I don’t know how I wore Jimmy’s clothes for so long without realizing how uncomfortable they are,” Cas says.

“You just didn’t have anything to compare them to. I’ve ruined you for anything but jeans and sweatpants now,” Dean teases. “You’re welcome.”

“I suppose I also get the benefit of no longer looking like a holy tax accountant,” Cas says to Dean.

Dean laughs at the memory. “Plus, without the trench coat on all the damn time, I can check out your ass now.”

Cas cocks his head to the side. “I thought that was one of those things people do but don’t talk about."

Dean’s eyebrows go up, “You check out my ass too?”

“It’s very muscular,” Cas says seriously.

Dean smiles, “If you only saw it in my prime, angel. I’m getting old and pudgy now,” he laughs.

“You’re being ridiculous,” Cas chastises him.

Dean lifts his t-shirt and points to his stomach. “This used to be flat and muscly!”

“And now it’s soft and snuggly. You know it doesn’t matter to me,” Cas answers. “You can’t possibly believe I don’t love your body exactly the way it is.”

Dean smirks. “You got me there. You think I’m sexy as fuck,” Dean teases him.

“And since you evidently like looking at my butt, you think the same thing about me,” he responds.

“Which is probably why we can’t keep our hands off of each other,” Dean laughs but starts moving towards Cas with _that_ look on his face.

Cas points a finger at him and says, “You stay over there. I just got dressed for the second time in one morning and I’m not about to do it again.”

Of course, Dean doesn’t stop, and says, “We don’t have to take all of our clothes off,” with a wicked grin on his face. He tries to place his hands on Cas’s hips and then laughs loudly when Cas bats his hands away. “It’s gonna be like that, huh?” Dean teases.

“No touching!” Cas says. He means for it to come out seriously but both of them can hear the laugh in his voice. Dean tries to grab Cas by the hand and pull him in but Cas twists his arm away and takes a step back, again, trying to look serious but failing. “Stop it,” he says and this time his voice breaks on a laugh. He holds both of his hands up, ready to dodge another move when Dean lunges towards him and wraps both arms around him as tight as he can. Cas is standing there with his elbows bent and his arms squished against his own body by Dean’s arms wrapped around him. There is nothing sexual whatsoever in the way he’s wrapped around Cas so awkwardly and Cas feels a laugh bubble out of him. “You’re being ridiculous, get off of me, you… weirdo!” he says and Dean cracks up.

“Weirdo? I can’t believe my boyfriend just insulted me when I’m trying to be sexy,” Dean snorts.

“What exactly about this situation is sexy?” he asks dryly.

“Me!” Dean says and over enthusiastically humps Cas’s leg.

Cas laughs and wiggles away from Dean’s arms. “You’re being juvenile,” he says, but again, Dean can see the amusement dancing his eyes.

At this point, Dean doesn’t actually want to have sex anymore, but at the same time, it’s not like him to back down from a challenge. And that’s exactly what Cas is giving him: a challenge. He thinks for a second and then he arranges his face to be expressionless, as if he has given up. He raises his own hands in surrender and says, “Okay, fine, I give. I won’t touch you.” He begins backing up towards the bed. Before he sits down though, he lowers his fly. He sits down on the edge of the bed and lets his head drop as his hand rubs across the front of his jeans.

“What are you doing?” Cas asks, and when Dean looks up, he’s happy to see the amusement has left Cas’s eyes. He gives him the sexiest smirk he can, and then leans back a little to let his hand slip under the waistband of his boxers to cup himself in his hand. He lets out a soft huff of breath as he feels the blood beginning to rush down between his legs and he fondles himself gently.

“You said I couldn’t touch you,” Dean says, purposely lowering his voice to make himself sound more gruff than usual. “So, I’m touching myself.” He’s almost fully hard now, and he pulls his cock outside of the confining space of his boxers and groans again when he can feel the air hit his boner. He makes eye contact with Cas and begins to stroke himself. Dean can see that Cas is rooted to his spot half way across the room. He watches as Cas’s cheeks begin to turn pink and his mouth drops open. Soon, he can see him breathing heavily and he wonders if Cas is really going to make him do this on his own or if he’s going to come lend a hand. It’s been a while since he’s had to get himself off, and with Cas watching, it’s hot enough that he doesn’t know how long he’s going to last.

“Does it feel good?” Cas asks, voice rough like sandpaper.

Dean opens his mouth to respond when suddenly his cell phone starts ringing in his pocket. “Fuck,” Dean curses. They both know it’s Sam’s ringtone and why he’s calling, and Dean feels a wave of annoyance rush over him because he knows Sam just ruined the moment.

He tucks himself back in his pants, and pulls out his cell phone to answer it.

“What’s up, douche bag?” Dean says to Sam, and he knows his voice sounds rougher than it should.

“Am I interrupting something?” Sam says. Cas clears his throat and Dean rolls his eyes at him.

“Only you could be a cockblock two hours away,” Dean grumbles and Sam laughs.

“Get your pants back on and your head out of the gutter,” Sam says.

“Okay _mom_ , what do you got for us?”

“Well, nothing yet,” Sam says and Dean growls out a menacing, “Sammy!” If he interrupted them for nothing, so help him.

“But!” Sam adds, “I found a couple of books, I just have to translate them. One definitely looks promising, but I don’t have a lot of experience with this language. Cas could probably do it faster if he was here,” he says.

“If you need any help you can always send me pictures,” Cas volunteers and Dean notices Cas's breathing and his voice are back to normal. That kills the last little bit of Dean’s boner and he sighs sadly.

“Thanks, Cas. I will if I need to. I think I can do it, it just isn’t going to be quick work. Do you have a plan until I can figure it out?”

“Dick all,” Dean says back. “Might pick up some cream to see if we can lure a fairy in, but honestly, I don’t think that’s gonna work. Fair's too big.”

“We can at least be there to try and stop anything from happening. Maybe you’ll see one,” Cas tries.

“Well I’m not just going to sit here and do nothing, so we’ll at least give it a shot,” Dean says.

“I’ll call you as soon as I have any of this figured out. Don’t get abducted again,” Sam jokes.

“Bite me,” Dean says before he hangs up. He looks at Cas who finally walks towards him again.

He smiles warmly at Dean and says, “We’ll have to continue that another time.”

“It was working, wasn’t it?” Dean asks and when Cas nods, Dean curses again. “I knew it! You kinky bastard,” he teases. “I’m gonna kill Sam.”

Cas laughs as he sits on the bed beside him. “He didn’t know we were... in the middle of something.”

“Yah, yah,” Dean grumbles. “Can I at least kiss you now?”

Cas answers by leaning in to close the distance between them, but he purposely keeps the kiss light as to not get drawn into anything more. A few seconds later Dean slaps a hand down on Cas’s thigh and says, “To the fair?”

“Yes, I’ll feel better just being there in case we’re needed.”

“I’ll feel better after a snow cone,” Dean says. He looks back at Cas and says, “You’ll love those, actually. Let's go, angel."


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went back and changed the days of the fair. Sorry for any confusion for those of you who have been reading as I post, but I changed it so the fair starts on Friday instead of Thursday. Turns out I didn't need the extra day like I originally thought.

By the time Cas and Dean arrive at the fair, it's just after noon. The day is sunny but not as warm as it was yesterday, and Dean is thankful he remembered to pack jackets for him and for Cas. On the drive over they decided against bringing cream with them, agreeing that it would only make them stand out and maybe scare the fairies away before they had a chance to figure out what the hell was going on.

They do what they did yesterday, and take a lap of the fairgrounds hand in hand. Neither of them expects to see anything out of the ordinary, so it surprises neither of them when that's exactly what happens. On the second lap around, they stop to get their snow cones and Dean gets a funnel cake, too. They go find the same picnic table they sat at yesterday and enjoy their treats. Like Dean thought, Cas likes his snow cone and Dean feels some tightness in his pants listening to him moan over it.

"You're killin' me Cas," he says with a look and Cas laughs quietly once he understands what he's been doing.

"It's very good," he explains.

"Yah, I got that. But you make the same noises when my dick is your mouth so my mind automatically goes there," Dean says.

"Your mind always goes there," Cas teases.

"Can't help it if I think you're hot. Plus, you're wearing my jacket, and you know what that does to me."

"You have too many kinks for me to keep up with," Castiel jokes again.

"Shut up, you like it," Dean says, and Castiel can see he's beginning to feel uncomfortable or ashamed. Maybe both.

"I certainly do," Castiel reassures him. "Until I started dating you, I had no idea my vessel was physically attractive. It pleases me that you think so."

Dean snorts out a laugh. "Yah, right you didn't know. Why did you think people were always hitting on you?"

Castiel makes a face of confusion. "Who was hitting on me?"

"Oh, I dunno," Dean says sarcastically. "How about Meg, Hannah, April, Daphne, Charlie the _lesbian_ called you dreamy... even fucking Crowley has flirted with you."

"You were obviously paying more attention than I was," Castiel says, stunned by this new flood of information. "Seems like a lot of people when you list them off like that."

"You're hot, Cas," Dean says seriously and Cas blushes at the compliment.

"I would like to say thank you but I feel like it would be vain."

"Nah, it's when you say it about yourself that you become vain. Like me," Dean jokes.

Castiel shakes his head. "Yes, but you only use your physical appearance as a buffer because you..." and then Castiel stops himself mid-sentence, because he shouldn't have said that out loud.

"Actually hate myself?" Dean says dryly. He meets Cas's eyes and sees an apology in them. Dean smiles at him and reaches out across the table for his hand, which Cas supplies eagerly. "I'm kinda starting to get over that a little bit, I think." He looks away and continues, "You uh, well, you and Sammy, both've said some stuff lately that might actually be sinking in a little. Plus, not to go all chick-flick moment on you, but you... Cas, you make me feel good about myself. Fuck," Dean breathes out a huff of an awkward laugh.

Castiel's smile is huge when he says, "That makes me happier than you could ever know." He tries to lighten the mood for Dean's sake and adds, "Maybe one day it won't embarrass you so much to admit it."

"Yah, well, don't count on it," Dean says back with a big smile. Suddenly, Castiel starts laughing and Dean gets the feeling that he's being laughed at. "What's so funny?" He asks.

"Your teeth and your tongue are blue," Castiel says. Dean sticks his tongue out and goes cross-eyed to see for himself.

"Snow cone," Dean explains. "Don't laugh too hard, asshole, yours is probably red." Castiel sticks his own tongue out and Dean laughs. "Ha ha! Told ya so!"

Castiel barely remembers not to use his grace to clean himself, but when he does, he pouts. He's out in public and his mouth and teeth are red. This is embarrassing.

"Relax," Dean says, correctly reading his body language. "Everybody's eating these. Lots of people are the same as us. No big deal."

"I feel ridiculous," Castiel says.

"Let's go feel more ridiculous, then. We're not having any luck walking in circles, and it's boring. Let's do some rides and play some games and have fun," he suggests. He sees Cas tense up and says, "We'll still keep an eye out for fairies, just from the rides. Want to?"

Castiel thinks back at some of the rides he's seen and says, "Let's start small. I don't know if I like rides."

"Me neither," Dean says. "We'll figure it out together."

Dean already had in mind which ride he wanted to try, so once he bought more tickets than he thinks either of them will ever actually use, he drags Cas straight to the bumper cars. Cas stands in line and watches as cars slam into one another purposely and how everybody driving a car seems to be laughing as they get jarred in their seats. "In this case you're supposed to crash into other cars?" Cas clarifies and Dean nods.

"Looks awesome, doesn't it?" Dean asks and Castiel can see excitement dancing in his eyes.

"Are you going to crash into me?" Castiel asks.

"Fucking right," Dean laughs. "You didn't think I'd be one of those nice boyfriends who left you alone so you don't get pissed off, did you?"

"I shouldn't have," Castiel says under his breath but Dean still hears him and laughs before he leans over to smack a kiss on to Cas's cheek.

They have to wait for two more rounds of people to get on and off the cars before it's their turn. Castiel picks the car closest to himself and climbs in, and then watches as Dean does the same. He hopes he doesn't look as completely out of place as Dean does. Everybody else on the ride looks like they are a quarter of Dean's age. As he is staring at him, Dean exaggerates his movements while he does up his safety belt so Castiel looks down and does his up too, then looks back to Dean to nod that he's done it. Dean narrows his eyes like he's angry, points at Cas, and then runs his index finger across his neck as if he's cutting it. Even Castiel understands this to mean, "You're dead." And he laughs at Dean's competitive nature.

Soon, he hears what he knows is a countdown of beeps, and then he's able to steer his car. He has barely moved at all before his car is bumped into for the first time. The force of the collision makes his body jolt in his seat, but he laughs because he didn't see it coming and it doesn't hurt at all. He turns around to see a young girl laughing right before Dean crashes into her (which then makes her crash into him again) and then hears Dean laugh obnoxiously. He can't even pretend to be mad at him because he can see pure joy on his face, and he would voluntarily let Dean run him over for the rest of the day if he keeps smiling like that.

They eventually get untangled and Castiel is about to crash into a car when Dean comes up behind him and slams into him again, sending him flying into the wall closest to him. He turns around to look at him and Dean wiggles his fingers at him in a very feminine wave, and he has the distinct impression he is being made fun of. Once he gets away from the wall he circles around to try and hit Dean, but another child hits his car and he's knocked off track again. He can see Dean's head turning around to look for him, and he sneaks up behind him and is finally able to hit Dean's car in revenge. When Dean turns to look at Cas, Cas sticks his tongue out at him in a very Dean-like way and Dean throws his head back and laughs. Castiel's heart feels so full he thinks it might fly right out of his chest.

They're both distracted when they hear a little girl shouting at who Castiel assumes is her brother to stop being such a bully. Cas and Dean exchange a look and then both take off for the kid to ram him from both sides. His eyes bug out of his head and the girl crosses her arms across her chest and says, "Boom! How do _you_ like it?" And this time Castiel and Dean both laugh. Castiel is reversing his car when suddenly there's no power left and he realizes his turn must be over. He gets his belt off and steps out of the car, only to be caught around the legs a second later. He looks down to see the little girl wrapped around his leg (is this supposed to be a hug?) before she looks up at him with big green eyes and says, "Thanks, mister! You whooped his butt!" And then just as quickly as she came, she runs after her brother.

Dean watches the exchange, and then watches as Cas's expression goes soft when he watches her disappear into the crowd. He walks up behind him and places a hand on the small of his back and says, "Guess you earned yourself an admirer."

Castiel smiles at him. "Certainly seems like it. She's adorable. Her eyes... reminded me of you. If you had a daughter."

"Let's get outta here before we run into her mom. Not that there's any guarantee that I'd recognize her anyway..." he trails off with a laugh and Castiel rolls his eyes.

"That was fun," Castiel says when they're back in the crowd.

"It was awesome! Man, I would've loved to go on those with Sammy when we were smaller. Hell, I'd love it today. Can't you just see the bitch face I'd get for slamming into him?" Dean says happily. "Let's go on something else!" He says excitedly and Castiel can't help but get caught up in his enthusiasm.

Dean drags him towards the swings next. They squeeze into a double swing when it's their turn and even though the ride operator is giving them the side eye Dean grins up at him unapologetically and Cas feels that happiness burst inside of him again. He must be smiling warmly at him because Dean leans in and kisses him quickly on the lips. Dean begins kicking his feet excitedly and soon enough, the swings lift high up off of the ground and they're flung through the air.

If Castiel was reminded of flying on the Ferris wheel, that was nothing in comparison to this. If he closes his eyes he can almost pretend it's his wings carrying him through the air rather than a ride at the fair. It's only been two and a half days and already he misses the sensation of flying as badly as he would miss a limb. He opens his eyes again when he hears Dean give a whoop of pleasure and takes in the sight of his boyfriend smiling beside him. Even knowing how much he will miss his grace, he still thinks growing old with Dean will be worth it.

Dean catches his eye and wraps an arm around him to pull him in so he can place a kiss on his temple. "Do you like it?" He shouts over the wind and the music.

"It's fun!" Castiel answers.

"I wanna do more rides!" Dean exclaims and Castiel nods his agreement. He hardly ever sees Dean having this much fun and even if he didn't like the ride, he'd still go on more just to see him like this for as long as he can.

When the swings lower to the ground and eventually come to a stop, they hop off and have just cleared the gate when Dean hears, "Excuse me, misters?"

Dean tugs on Cas's hand and they both turn around to see a teenager looking at them awkwardly. "What's up?" Dean says.

The boy takes a deep breath, looks down at the two of them holding hands, and then says, "Are you gay?"

Dean looks at the kid. He looks like he's maybe 17, 18 years old. Dean knows enough about kids to know this kid is probably one of the popular kids. He's muscular for a teenager, and good looking for a kid. He wonders if he's gonna have to kick his ass once he answers. "Uh, well, I guess... I'm bisexual," Dean answers.

The boy nods his head up and down enthusiastically. "But you're dating him, right?" He says as he gestures towards Cas.

"Yah. We're together," Dean says and really has no idea where this is heading.

"I'm here with my kid brother, see. He was on the swing behind you. I uh, saw when you kissed him," he says, still obviously nervous. "It's just... you don't look gay."

Castiel swallows a laugh because of the man at the hotel the day before, and Dean elbows him in the ribs. "Not the first time I've heard that," Dean says. "What's it to you?"

"Well, lately, I guess I kinda... I was thinking I might be, you know, kinda into guys. But I guess I had this stupid idea in my head that if I liked a guy it would make me... I dunno, more girly, I guess. I know that's stupid," he says looking directly at the ground now.

"Nawh, man. I thought the same thing at first. And listen, I'm not telling you to go out and have sex or anything, but I think you might feel differently about it once you experience it. There is nothing girly about being with a guy. Everything about it is more masculine. It's pretty awesome," Dean hears himself say.

The kid raises his head and though Dean can see his face is beet red in embarrassment, he smiles and nods. "Are people douchebags to you when you're out in public together like this?"

"Sometimes," Dean says. "It's annoying and sometimes it really pisses me off, but I'd rather a douchebag say something to me for being with Cas than spend my life pretending not to be with him just to keep douchebags quiet."

Castiel smiles and wraps his arm around Dean's waist, and Dean brings his own arm up to rest across his shoulders.

"Listen, thanks for talking to me. I feel better. You guys are obviously into each other, you don't seem girly at all, and you're pretty cool for old guys. I know it might suck for a bit, but I think I'm gonna come out soon. Thanks again," he gives a small wave and then takes off towards the kid waiting for him at the next ride.

Dean turns to give Cas a smile and Castiel grabs him by his jacket and pulls him in to capture his lips. He lingers for a few seconds and then lets him go. "That was incredibly mature and brave of you to help that young man, Dean. I'm proud of you."

Dean smiles shyly and says, "And after all that the dick still called me old."

"Compared to him, you are old," Castiel says and he laughs at the look of insult on Dean's face. "If it makes you feel any better, just think about how old I am."

"Fucking ancient," Dean agrees and it actually does make him feel better for some weird reason.

"Have you ever thought about what that boy said to you before? Had you thought that us being out like this together would make it easier for other people to also be comfortable with themselves?"

"Nope, never," Dean says honestly. "Now that I know it can though, makes it even easier to let myself be affectionate or whatever with you."

"Besides, I'm sure it's hard to try and come up with excuses to touch me all the time," Castiel says with a smile.

"Shut up," Dean says and pulls Cas towards another ride. They could hear people scream on this one and Cas looked up to see the title. The tilt-a-whirl. Didn't sound very scary. "This one looks a little more intense than than the other ones. Think you can handle being whipped around in circles?" Dean asks Cas.

"Considering I fought my way through Hell, I think I can handle spinning in circles," Castiel says. This line is a little longer than the others and they wait for quite a while before it's finally their turn.

They climb into one of the seats and Dean pulls the bar down on to their thighs. Well, he tries to. Cas is so muscular that his thighs hold the bar a few inches off of Dean's. His cheeks go red in embarrassment when he notices but Dean grabs his chin and turns it towards himself and says, "That is so fucking hot." He pulls Cas towards him and in the privacy of their own little seat, he licks his way into his mouth. It's a needy kiss, with their stubble catching together, teeth scraping lips and groaning coming from Dean. He lets his hand drift down to pinch one of Cas's nipples and he feels Cas's breath hitch against his mouth. He backs away to catch his breath and when their eyes meet Dean whispers, "I'd fuck you right now if I could," and he swears he can see Cas's pupils dilate with need.

Before Castiel can respond, the ride starts moving beneath them and they both release one another to hold on to the bar. It isn't long before they're being whipped around in tight circles while the ride moves up and down like waves. The combination of spinning and dipping is exhilarating and Castiel can understand why people were yelling. It's somewhat frightening to not know what's going to happen next, but it's frightening in a good way. This is the ride he has enjoyed the most so far. He's having so much fun, he doesn't notice that he's laughing more and more as the ride keeps going. When it finally comes to a stop, he realizes his cheeks and his stomach muscles actually hurt from smiling and laughing so much. It's a wonderful ache!

When the ride is over, they both laugh when they stand up to find their legs not quite steady underneath them. The world around them is still spinning slightly and they hold on to one another to stay upright. It only lasts a few seconds, and by the time they reach the stairs to walk back down to the ground, they're more or less back to normal. "That's the first time I've ever been dizzy without consuming copious amounts of alcohol," Castiel says and Dean laughs.

"Wanna do it again?" Dean asks. Cas nods and they get right back into the line to do the same ride over again. They get a bit of of a look from the guy running the ride, but fuck it. Dean's having fun and he doesn't give a shit what some stupid carny thinks about them going on the rides like a bunch of kids. They both enjoy the ride just as much the second time, and are laughing again when they get off. This time Dean pulls Cas to the next ride, The Scrambler. Castiel feels nervous watching this one spin so quickly, but again, he sees the smiles on the faces of the people currently on the ride and thinks it must be more fun than it looks.

When it's their turn to get on, they both stop to read the instructions written in big words on the seat. "Sit heaviest to lightest," with an arrow indicating which way. They both go to sit where the heaviest should sit and Cas's eyebrows draw together in confusion. "I weigh more than you do, Dean," Castiel explains.

"Like fuck you do. Move your ass over, angel," he says but Cas doesn't budge.

"I assure you, I am heavier than you are," Castiel insists.

"There's no fucking way. I'm taller than you!"

"You are taller than I am, but I'm heavier," Castiel says again. Dean opens his mouth to protest and Castiel says, "I can tell you exactly what you weigh down to the ounce at any given moment, Dean. Do you really want to argue with me?" Dean doesn't look happy about it, but he does eventually sit where he's supposed to.

"How much more than me do you weigh?" Dean asks.

"Approximately seven pounds," Castiel answers and Dean frowns. "If it makes you feel any better, you were heavier than me at one point."

"Before I got old and soft," Dean supplies and Cas shrugs.

"Other than this ride, it makes no difference who is heavier. Especially since I can lift you so easily regardless of how much you weigh," Castiel says.

"Not without mojo," Dean points out.

Castiel shoots him a cocky smile and says, "We'll see." Dean feels desire curl in his stomach at the implication, and not for the first time, he wonders what it is about him that enjoys being with somebody stronger than he is. Castiel can see the look on his face and smiles at him again before he says, "You are particularly easy to arouse today."

Dean shifts in his seat and says, "I noticed."

"Why is that?" Castiel asks curiously.

Dean shrugs. "Could just be a mood. Could be that Sam cock blocked me this morning. Could be that I uh, just feel closer to you today."

And it's the reluctance in the way that Dean says the last part that lets Castiel know that's the main reason for it. "I've had a fun day with you, too, Dean," Castiel says softly and Dean reaches over to hold his hand. Castiel feels Dean's thumb stroking the back of his hand and lets his head fall on to his shoulder for a moment. When he sees the ride operator coming closer to them to lock the safety bar into place, he lifts his head and presses a quick kiss to Dean's cheek. Dean blushes at the act of affection and Castiel feels an overwhelming urge to just squeeze him - but he doesn't.

When the ride begins, it's easy to see why the heaviest person has to sit where Cas is sitting. The speed of the ride spinning in circles forces Dean to slide up against Cas's side. The weight of him squishes into Castiel, and no matter how much Dean tries to pull himself away, it's a losing battle. It doesn't take away any of the fun, though. Castiel throws his arm around Dean's shoulders and sighs immediately at how much more comfortable it is this way. They are quickly caught up in the thrill of the ride, and soon they are both laughing with pure pleasure again. Castiel loves the little flips of excitement he can feel in his stomach as he's spun in circles and is breathless from all the laughing he's doing.

"This is awesome!" Dean yells out and Castiel nods his agreement.

Castiel is watching the world spin around them when his eyes catch on that same woman he saw yesterday sitting on the ground. She's sitting on the ground again. He turns his head around trying to keep her in his sight and nudges Dean. "There," he nods towards her. "There's that lady sitting on the ground again."

Dean turns his head around trying to see for himself but with the ride moving around so much and not knowing exactly where he's supposed to be looking, he can't see anybody sitting on the ground. "I don't see her," Dean shouts and Castiel turns around in his seat again to try to show Dean, but she's not there.

"She's gone," Castiel says as his eyes scan the crowd around her to see if she has slipped away. The ride is beginning to slow down now, and still, he can't see her. "I don't see her anymore."

"You sure it was the same chick?" Dean asks.

"Positive," Castiel responds. When the ride comes to a complete stop they wait to be let out of their seat, and then Castiel walks directly to where he saw her. He doesn't know what he's looking for, but he knows when he finds it. "Salt," he says as he points out the spilled packet to Dean.

"Somebody must have dropped this and she had to stop to count the grains," Dean says aloud. "Guess you know what our fairy looks like," Dean smiles at Cas. "Good job."

"I suppose that's a point in our favour," Castiel agrees.

"Let's do a lap and see if we can find her," Dean suggests, and Castiel agrees, this time leading the way. They do two laps, but Castiel doesn't see her.

"I'm sorry," Castiel says heavy with disappointment.

"Hey, nothing to be sorry for. She probably disappeared. Not your fault," Dean assures him. "Let's get out of here for a bit. I'm starving since we skipped lunch. Let's go eat dinner and then come back with fresh eyes, okay?"

"Are you sure?" Castiel asks. "You don't want to stay in case something happens?"

Dean shrugs. "I think we'll be okay for an hour or so."

"I'd like to take a break, then," Castiel agrees.

Dean stops to ask a teenager where he can get a good burger close by, and with his directions, they walk a few blocks before they find the diner, and then Dean holds the door for Cas to walk through.

"Castiel?" He hears and he looks up to see a pair of piercing blue eyes staring at him in surprise.


	15. Chapter 15

"Claire!?" Castiel says in surprise.

She gets out of her seat and comes over to wrap her arms around him. "It's so good to see you!" She says.

"You as well," Castiel says happily. He has never been greeted so warmly by her before. She seems so happy, and that makes him happy.

"Hey, Dean," Claire says to him. "No giant with you today?"

"Nah, Sammy's back at the bunker. What are you doing here?" He asks.

"Working a case," she says. "People disappearing from the fair."

Castiel laughs, "That's what we're doing. Are you here by yourself?"

"Yah. A friend of Jody's was supposed to meet me here but never showed. She's puking her guts out, so fine by me," she laughs.

"May we join you?" Castiel asks.

"Of course! I'm sure your old bones are aching by now, am I right?" She jokes and Dean gives her a fake scowl as he slides into the booth across from her. Cas slides in beside him and Dean notices how far Cas has slid away from him. Huh.

The waitress comes over and says, "Looks like your friend made it after all! What can I get you boys to drink?"

"Pepsi for me please, strawberry lemonade for him," Dean says.

Claire looks surprised but waits for the waitress to leave before she asks, "You drink now? Do you eat too?"

"I don't need to, but I have been finding more and more foods that I enjoy," he explains. "Actually, there's something else I'd like to talk to you about too, but I'm afraid it will upset you."

"Are you okay?" She asks.

"I'm okay. I'm great, actually. I'm so sorry if this causes you any kind of pain, Claire, but I want to be honest with you." He takes a deep breath and then says, "I have fallen in love with somebody."

He watches as several emotions show on her face. First surprise, then hurt, then... he thinks... acceptance. "Wow. Um. I don't really know what to say. I mean, I never thought about you like that before, but it makes sense. And it's good. I'm happy for you, I think," she laughs nervously. She gives her head a shake and continues, "So, tell me about her. Is she an angel? How did you meet?"

If Claire notices both Cas and Dean's faces turn red, she doesn't say anything. "It's not an angel, and it isn't a she," Castiel starts and Claire's mouth drops.

" _You're gay_?" She asks louder than she probably should in a restaurant.

"I'm not entirely sure about that," Castiel replies. "But the person I am in love with... is Dean."

"Dean!? Like, _Dean_ Dean? _This_ Dean?" She asks pointing at him.

"He better be talking about me," Dean jokes, trying to break the ice.

" _You're_ gay? No fucking way," Claire says.

"Not gay. Bi," he explains. "I think, anyway. Definitely got a thing for Cas."

"This is so weird!" Claire says, clearly mind-blown by all of this new information.

"I'm sorry. I know it's a lot to take in but I respect you too much to lie to you. You're not a child anymore," Castiel says.

"Know what's kinda funny?" She says with a hint of a smile.

"What's that?" Castiel asks.

"I'm bi, too," she smiles. "Me and Alex are kinda a thing."

"Seriously? That's fucking funny," Dean laughs and Cas shoots him a look. "What! It is!" Dean insists and Cas shakes his head at him.

The waitress comes back with their drinks and Dean orders two bacon cheeseburgers and fries for them, and insists Claire orders something too. Cas doesn't look overly enthusiastic about what Dean orders for him but once the waitress leaves Dean says, "I know burgers aren't your favourite but you didn't eat lunch either and I didn't want to share mine. Even if you just eat a little bit, it's better than nothing."

Castiel rolls his eyes at Dean but reluctantly agrees. Claire snorts out a laugh (Dean is horrified when he is reminded of himself) and Castiel asks, "What is it?"

"I should've known you guys were into each other. It isn't exactly hard to see. How long have you been a thing? Because now that I'm thinking about it, you guys were always kinda touchy-feely."

"Pfft, we were not," Dean argues.

"As if you're even denying it!" Claire laughs.

"We've only been together a few weeks. Dean is still working on being okay with being attracted to me. This is all new for him," Castiel explains kindly. He places a hand on Dean's leg under the table and Dean rolls his eyes but covers Cas's hand with his own. "But I agree. He's wanted me for years," Castiel deadpans and Dean bursts out laughing.

"You're such a dick," Dean says with a laugh and Castiel laughs back.

"I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but you seem so much more human now. Kinda weird because you're still nothing like my dad," she says. "I always thought you weren't the same because you were so angely, you know?"

"He's more of a pain in the ass every day," Dean agrees, trying to steer the conversation away from Jimmy, and Cas smiles at him as though he's just complimented him instead of insulting him.

"Not to sound like a rom-com or anything, but you both totally look happier now. It's cool," Claire says.

"You look happier, too," Castiel replies.

"Probably because she lost the raccoon makeup thing she had going on. I can actually see her face for once," Dean says.

"Pretty soon you'll need glasses to see me, old man," Claire jabs Dean, and Dean flips her off.

" _Dean_ ," Castiel chastises him.

"What? She's all grown up. I can give her the finger if I want to!"

"Why are the two of you always like children when you're in the same room?" Castiel asks more to himself than anybody.

"We're a lot alike," Claire says. "We piss each other off 'case of that."

Castiel looks between them and nods his head slightly. "I can see that, actually."

The waitress comes back with their food and Dean dives in like a man who hasn't eaten in days. "Do you seriously have no table manners?" Claire says to Dean. "I think you can do better, Castiel," she jokes.

"Shut up," Dean responds around a mouthful of food.

"It's amusing how often that comes up when we eat in front of people," Castiel chuckles. "I'm so used to him eating like that I don't even notice. Besides, I think it's endearing how much he enjoys food."

Dean smiles, cheeks still full of food, and even Claire can't help but laugh at how utterly ridiculous he is. "What do you guys have on the case?" She asks, and Castiel takes the time to fill her in on what they've done so far. She has never worked a case with fairies either, so Dean is still the only one with experience, and Castiel is still the only one who has seen the fairy in her human form. Turns out Claire has already interviewed the family of one of the other vics, but didn't get anything useful from them. Even still, it's another base covered.

"What's your plan to catch it?" Claire asks.

"We don't have one," Castiel replies sadly.

"Sammy's looking up some shit at the bunker, but it's in some weird-ass language so he has to try to figure out how to translate it first. He'll probably find something to help us. He usually does," Dean says.

"Until then, we're just going to return to the fair to try to keep an eye on things," Castiel explains. "You can join us if you'd like?"

She shrugs, "Better than going by myself."

"We've got a shit load of ride tickets, too," Dean grins at her and she smiles back.

"Did you go on the Gravatron yet?" She says with her eyes dancing.

"No, I don't think so. What's that one?" Dean asks.

"It looks like a giant spinning top. You go inside and it spins so fast the gravity pushes you against the wall and holds you there! It's so totally wicked," she explains.

"That might be a little bit out of our league," Dean says with a laugh.

"Right, I forgot I'm with people more than twice my age," Claire says.

"Cas is old as fuck, but I am not twice your age, kid," Dean argues. "What are you? 19?"

"20," Castiel and Claire both say at the same time. Dean sees Cas's face turn a little red and he squeezes his knee in an act of support.

"I'm not 40 yet, so you just shut your pie hole," Dean jokes.

"My bad. I'm sure those two years really make a difference in your head when you get to be as old as you are," Claire responds and Castiel attempts to hold in a laugh.

Dean sighs loudly and says, "Man, to be 20 again." He looks at Cas and says, "We'd probably kill each other."

"Oh my god, ew," Claire says in disgust and Dean roars with laughter. "I need to pee," she says and gets up and leaves the table.

"You said that on purpose," Castiel accuses Dean.

"She was pissing me off on purpose! I just retaliated," Dean defends himself. "Plus, it's true."

"I have no doubts about the validity of your statement. But she's been incredibly mature about this so far, so I would appreciate it if you didn't rub her nose in it," Castiel says softly.

"I can't help it. She's like a bratty little sister I just have to bug. It creeps her out the same way it creeps Sam out, and I'm sorry, (though Castiel notes he doesn't sound sorry whatsoever) but it's fun to bug them! Listen, if she actually seems upset at some point I'll reign it in, kay?"

"Do I have your word?" Castiel asks seriously.

"I promise," Dean says. "Now come over here and kiss me before she comes back."

Castiel has never been able to resist the smile Dean gives him in this moment, so he scoots closer and cups Dean's face in his hand before he moves in to suck Dean's top lip. He breaks away only to do the same to his bottom lip, and then he feels Dean's tongue come out to lick against his lips gently, and without thinking about it, his mouth opens and his own tongue chases Dean's back into his mouth. He feels their tongues slide against each other, warm, and eager, and so perfectly familiar, that his hand moves back to hold Dean by the back of the neck to pull him in even closer. If they weren't in public, he would crawl into Dean's lap right now, and thinking about it is beginning to arouse him. He's just about to end the kiss when they are interrupted by somebody obviously pretending to clear their throat.

Castiel pulls away but Dean leans in to capture his mouth with one more soft kiss before he can turn all the way away from Dean only to see Claire standing there with her arms crossed in front of her. "Seriously?"

Castiel looks embarrassed but Dean sure as hell doesn't. "My apologies, we um, got carried away."

"That happens a lot," Dean says.

"You look awfully proud of yourself," Claire says as she slides back in across from them.

"I know you don't see it because he looks like your dad, and gross, but he's super hot. I _am_ proud of myself," Dean says.

"Are you going to make out the whole time we're working the case, too?" She asks.

"I hope so," Dean says and this time Castiel elbows him.

"Not like that," Castiel promises. "We are fairly affectionate towards one another, though. Out of respect for you, we don't have to be, if it bothers you."

"It doesn't bother me. Well, not any more than I would be bothered by third-wheeling it with anybody else. I thought for a second it might be weird but Castiel is really nothing like my dad anymore. It's fine," she promises. "But that doesn't mean you should keep swallowing each other's tongues."

"We won't," Castiel promises.

"Are you done?" Dean asks, gesturing to her plate.

"Yep. You done?" She asks Castiel.

Castiel nods and Dean frowns. "You didn't eat much of your burger."

"Yours have ruined me for all other burgers, Dean. There is just no comparison," he says seriously and Dean laughs.

"Clever way to get off the hook," Dean says but Castiel knows he's not really mad. Dean looks at Claire and says under his breath, "Let's go catch some frickin' fairies, k kid?"

She rolls her eyes and Dean's breath catches when he sees just how much she looks like Cas doing that. Something weird happens inside of him at the sight, but he shakes it off mentally and goes to hold the door open for both her and Cas.

"More of a gentleman than I thought you'd be," Claire sasses him as she walks by.

"This is gonna be awesome," Dean says sarcastically as he follows them out of the door.

 


	16. Chapter 16

When they get back to the fair, they immediately start another lap of the grounds to make sure they didn’t miss anything while they were gone. Nothing jumps out at them, so they all agree the fairies haven’t made their move yet.

“I was thinkin’, what if we just lay down a couple of piles of rock salt? Maybe if a fairy sees it then they’ll have to stop and count it?” Dean offers up.

Castiel and Claire agree to give it a shot. They don’t have anything to lose. Dean grabs some salt from the trunk and stuffs it in his pocket – _and that’s gonna suck to wash out later_ , he thinks. The three of them walk around the grounds and try to place the salt in spots that aren’t heavy with traffic (it’s no help to them if it just gets walked over) but still in the way enough that any fairies who are at the fair would notice them. They decide on five spots, all four corners of the grounds and one in the middle.

“Now we wait?” Claire asks.

“Now we wait,” Castiel answers.

“Might as well do some rides while we wait, right?” Dean asks and Claire grins at him.

Castiel replies, “I would like to do the ferris wheel again while it’s still light out.”

“Let’s do it,” Dean says, and they make their way in that direction.

“You _would_ pick the lamest ride,” Claire says to Castiel with a small smile.

“I like it,” Castiel says simply. “The first time I was on it, it reminded me of flying. The swings were better for that, but I want to see the view from the top of this one again.”

“You should’ve seen the look on his face the first time we went on it. The fireworks were going off, and it’s like he’s never seen anything like it before. He was totally into it,” Dean tells her, and based on the look he gets from Claire, he knows he must be showing some of the love he has for Cas.

“You look like a cartoon character with big heart eyes when you talk about him, you know,” Claire tells him with a smirk.

“Yah, yah,” Dean waves her off. He knows. When he looks over at Cas he sees a big smile on his face before Cas takes a step closer and wraps an arm around his waist. Surprisingly, Claire doesn’t say anything about that.

They get on the ride when it’s their turn, and this time Dean and Cas sit beside each other and Claire sits across from them. Once the ride starts going Claire giggles a little bit as her long, blonde hair flies around her face. Dean watches as Cas pulls out his phone and snaps a few pictures of her smiling before she notices and sticks her tongue out at him. Dean remembers her saying how alike they are, and now he kinda sees it.

Claire pulls her phone out and says, “Your turn. Say, ‘I’m way too old to be on a ferris wheel,'" and she snaps the picture when they both laugh at her. She looks at the picture on her phone and says, “You guys are total dorks.” But she has a big smile on her face and Castiel knows she likes them anyway.

“Can you please send that to me?” Castiel asks, looking down at his own phone. She nods, and then Dean hears her phone go off in her hand. He sees her face go soft for a minute and then Castiel says, “You looked beautiful, and happy. I thought you should see yourself.”

“Thanks Cas,” she says quietly and Dean notices how she doesn’t look either of them in the face. He does the same thing when he feels too much, which is a lot since Cas either doesn’t know or doesn’t care that he’s not supposed to just say shit like that.

“He says embarrassing shit like that all the time,” Dean tells her and though she still doesn’t look at them, she gives him a wide smile in response. Dean takes in the view the next time the ride goes around and he sees the giant slide. “We need to race down the slide next,” he says and points it out to Cas.

“Why do you turn everything into a race?” Castiel asks.

“Because it’s more fun when I win,” Dean says with a cocky smirk.

When they get off the ferris wheel, they walk over to the slide and check out two of the five salt piles on their way. Still there, nobody around them. They wait in the line, which moves quickly, and then they each grab a burlap sack from the ride guy, and they begin to climb the longest set of stairs Dean has ever climbed. They wait for the slide to be empty and they each pick a lane and take their seats. The ride guy tells them the rules, and then Dean looks up at him and tells him they’re going to race and asks him to count them down. He doesn’t seem overly pleased with the request, but does it anyway.

When Dean hears him say, “Go!” he pushes as hard as he can with his arms and starts flying down the slide. He and Claire are neck-in-neck, and he tries to lean forward to get ahead of her a little bit, when out of nowhere, Cas comes zooming past them both and he flies off the end of the slide on to the grass before Dean and Claire.

“You cheated!” Claire accuses Cas.

“How’d you do that?” Dean asks.

“Do what?” Castiel asks as he gets up off the ground and brushes the grass off of his jeans.

“You were behind us both and then passed us!” Claire says loudly. Then she lowers her voice and hisses, “You used your angel powers!”

“He didn’t,” Dean says in Cas’s defense.  
  
They each hand their sacks back to the ride guy before Claire turns to him and says, “How do _you_ know? Maybe you just didn’t see it!”

“We have a deal. He’s not using his grace right now,” Dean explains. “I do wanna know how you got by us though.”

“I'm just the fastest,” Castiel replies. He  _may_ have used his wings to give him an extra push, but the way he sees it, it's just another body part, so it isn't cheating as much as it's just using his skills to his own advantage. Dean and Claire both narrow their eyes at him and Castiel shakes his head. “Neither of you lose gracefully,” he says. 

Dean snorts, “Not the first time I’ve heard that.”

Claire laughs, “Said like that, it probably is,” and Dean laughs with her.

Castiel tilts his head to the side and says, “Do you hear that?”

Dean and Claire stop laughing long enough to listen and Dean says, “Music?”

“There’s probably concerts tonight,” Claire says and her eyes light up. “Can we go watch? Just for a song or two? _Please_?”

“Why not,” Dean shrugs, and he starts walking towards the sound.

They find a small crowd already watching the people playing on stage. Dean recognizes the song, but not the band, so he figures it’s probably a local group just playing covers until the real act gets here. This song ends and they clap along with everybody else. The next song that starts is so clichéd Dean and Claire both share a knowing eye roll. Even still, by the time the chorus kicks in Dean finds himself singing along to “I Love Rock N Roll” and Claire joins in, and starts dancing in place, too.

Dean watches as Cas watches her with a small smile on his face, before he seems to steel himself, and then he reaches out to take Claire’s hand and starts dancing with her. She freezes for just a minute until Cas starts swinging his hips and then she throws her head back and bursts out laughing. She reaches for his other hand, and soon their hands are swinging between them and they take turns laughing at each other’s dancing. When the song ends they let go of each other quickly and Dean thinks there might be a little bit of awkwardness there now, but then Claire’s phone rings and she says, “It’s Alex. I’ll be right back. Don’t move!” And she takes off away from the music.

The next song that starts makes a smile spread on Dean’s face. “AC/DC!” he says excitedly as the opening to “Shook Me All Night Long” begins. Cas smiles at him and Dean doesn’t even let himself hesitate before he grabs Cas’s hands and starts dancing with him almost the same way Cas and Claire were dancing.

This time it’s Cas who laughs out loud like he can’t help it, and Dean thinks to himself that though he's heard him laugh more the last two days than he can remember, he doesn't hear it anywhere close to often enough. He takes a glance around them and doesn’t see anybody giving them dirty looks, so when the chorus starts he holds Cas’s hand up in the air to twirl him. When Cas spins all the way around he has one of those gummy smiles on his face and Dean grins around singing the words to his boyfriend.

__“ Made a meal out of me and came back for more.  
Had to cool me down,  
To take another round.  
Now I'm back in the ring to take another swing.  
'Cause the walls were shaking,  
The earth was quaking,  
My mind was aching,  
And we were making it. And you…

_Shook me all night long!  
Yeah, you shook me all night long!”_

Dean pulls him in closer and wraps his arm around his waist, and takes Cas’s hand in his, and then he’s turning them and rocking their bodies back and forth. Cas’s eyes are dancing and his smile never fades, and Dean finds himself thinking he’d dance with him forever if he always looked this happy. By the time the chorus is repeating at the end of the song, Cas is singing along too, so care-free and happy that Dean can’t resist pulling him in just a little bit closer to kiss him. They are both too smiley to kiss properly, and they end up kissing each other’s teeth more than once, but neither of them care. The song ends, and though they’ve stopped moving now, Dean still holds Cas close.

He knows he still has a big dopey smile on his face, and he says, “You are so fucking perfect, Cas.”

Castiel didn’t think it was possible, but he thinks his smile might get even bigger. “I’m so _happy_ ,” he laughs. "It's strangely satisfying to act foolish with you."

“Are you two always like this?” Claire asks loudly from beside them.

They didn't hear her come back, and they break apart but they don’t stop smiling. “I’m afraid so,” Castiel replies in a sing-song voice.

“How’s the ball and chain?” Dean asks.

Claire shrugs, “Ya know. Ready for me to be done here so we can both be back at Jody’s.”

“It must be hard to be apart,” Castiel says.

“We work together a lot of the time, but I’m finished with school and she isn’t yet, so I want her to stay and go when she can.”

“That’s very mature of you,” Castiel tells her.

She shrugs again. “I like hunting, but I want to have a normal life one day, too.” Dean snorts and she looks at him. “What?” she challenges.

“I dunno. Guess I don’t know anybody who hunts and has a normal life. Didn’t think it was even possible,” Dean says.

“Me and Alex talked about it. She’s going to finish school and get an actual job. I’ll work part-time as much as I can between cases – wait tables or something - and I’ll only take cases close enough to home that I’ll only be away a few days at a time.”

“What about all the other cases?” Dean asks, dumbfounded. 

“I’m not the only hunter in the world. Somebody else can take it. Not every case is my responsibility,” she says.

Castiel meets Dean’s eyes and he can see hope in them again. Of course, because it’s Dean, there’s some fear there, too. But he can easily see hope. “You never thought of trying to live that way?” Castiel asks him.

“Honestly?” Dean says. “No. I’ve always lived this life all or nothing, and I guess that’s the only way I thought it could be.”

Claire looks between them in confusion. “So what? Until right now you thought you’d live happily ever after _in the bunker_?”

Castiel takes Dean’s hand and rubs his thumb across the back of his hand in a comforting gesture. “If that’s what Dean wants, I would be happy there,” he insists.

“You better lock him in, old man, not many people would agree to live underground. Especially an angel who belongs in the sky,” she says with a hint of a joke in her voice.

Castiel can see the expressionless mask that has settled on to Dean’s face, and knows he won’t talk about this anymore right now. He also knows he needs to change the subject. But it physically pains him to not be able to reach out to Dean with his grace and send all of the comforting and calming feelings he possibly can towards him. He leans in to kiss his cheek and says softly, “I will stay with you anywhere. Always.” He waits for Dean to really look at him, and then he gives him what he hopes is a reassuring smile. “Should we investigate the salt traps again?” he offers.

Dean latches on to the change of subject with fervor. “They’ve gotta make a move today,” Dean says. “There’s no way they’ve been sitting around here for two days for nothing.”

They begin to do another lap of the park when Castiel says, “Isn’t it unusual for Sam to take so long just to translate a book?”

Dean freezes. “What time was it when he called the first time?”

“Just after noon,” Cas reminds him. Dean checks his phone and sees that Cas is right. It’s been almost seven hours without a word from Sam.

“God dammit,” Dean curses as he dials Sam. “Come on, come on, come on. Answer your fucking phone, Sammy,” Dean chants under his breath as the phone keeps ringing.  “No answer,” he spits out. He immediately dials again but his heart has already dropped to his stomach. “He’s not picking up.”

“I can be there instantly,” Castiel supplies and Dean closes his eyes trying to find a shred of patience for Cas before he responds.

“No. You can’t be. This is what you want to volunteer to give up, and this is how it’s gonna be if you do. So no. You can’t,” Dean says with a hard edge to his voice.

“Why don’t you two stay here and watch for the fairies, and I’ll drive to the bunker to check on him,” Claire offers. "It'll only take a couple of hours."

“It could be dangerous,” Castiel says immediately. “You should stay here. I can drive to Sam.”

“Fairies are just as dangerous as anything waiting at the bunker!” Claire disagrees. “I can handle myself.” She speaks with so much confidence and conviction, Castiel can’t find it within himself to argue with her.

“Thanks,” Dean says roughly. “If – _when_ he calls back, I’ll let you know so you can turn around and come back.”

“I’ll be there before you know it,” Claire promises, and she reaches out to give Dean’s arm a little squeeze. “He’s probably just asleep face-first in a book,” she tries to comfort him.

Dean forces himself to give her a small smile and says, “You’re probably right. Call me before you go in.”  
  
“Promise,” she says and then she’s gone.

Dean starts walking quickly and a few minutes later he notices Cas is struggling to keep up with him. “Dean –“ Cas says but Dean cuts him off.

“Save it, Cas. Let’s just find the frickin’ fairies so we can get out of here and I can see my brother.”

“ _Dean_!” Cas says again and this time his tone of voice makes Dean stop. Cas pointedly gestures through the crowd with his chin and Dean sees a bright light hovering over one of the salt piles.

“Holy shit, we found her!” Dean says quietly.

“How do we capture her?” Cas asks.

“Capture her? I’m gonna kill her before she kicks my ass,” Dean says and he steps towards her.

“You can’t!” Cas says and he grabs Dean by the arm. Dean turns to face Cas (reluctantly) and Cas says, “If you kill her we won’t know why they’re doing this or if the others are still being held somewhere.”

Cas is right. “We can’t just let her sit there," he whispers angrily. 

“What about a jar? If we put the containment symbol on the top and bottom?”

Dean thinks, “I don’t know. I dunno if it’ll hold her, but it’s better than doing nothing.”

“Where are we going to find a jar?” Castiel asks, looking around as if one might fall from the sky.

“Jam! I saw jam in one of the vendor tents,” Dean says. “Stay here, and don’t take your eyes off of her.”

A few minutes later, Dean comes back with what _was_ a full jar of jam. Castiel sees it’s been mostly scraped clean now, but there are still traces of jam on the sides. Not that it matters. Dean moves in close to Castiel, and for a second he’s confused by the sudden act of affection, but then he sees Dean pull his knife off of his belt and Castiel understands. He wraps his arms around him to conceal Dean and the knife from prying eyes. It looks like Castiel is just holding him, when really, Dean slices the tip of his finger. Castiel gives him enough space for Dean to paint the symbol on the top and bottom of the jar with his blood.

Dean stays in Castiel’s arms when he says, “You just see a person sitting there, right?” Castiel nods at him. “Approach her and see if you can get her talking, and I’ll try to sneak up behind her.” Because he’s right there and because there is a sense of danger here, Castiel leans in a little and catches Dean’s lips quickly. He sees softness on Dean’s face for the first time since they danced, and then Dean says, “Be careful,” before he backs away from him.

Castiel begins ambling towards the woman, but not straight at her. He looks around to make it appear as if he is wandering, and then when he looks down to see her almost directly in front of his feet, he acts startled to see her there.

“I’m so sorry, I almost trampled you there!” He says with a fake laugh. She doesn’t look up. “Are you alright, miss?” he tries. He sees Dean come up behind the woman slowly.

“Fine, thank you,” she replies tersely without looking up. She’s counting the grains of salt in front of her.

“Do you require assistance?” He asks her. He tries to keep his eyes focused on her and manages not to look up to Dean sneaking closer, but he sees him in his peripheral vision, jar held in front of him.

“I said I’m fine,” she says again. “Please leave me alone.”

“I’m so sorry to bother you. You seem distressed and I just wouldn’t feel right if –“ He stops when Dean closes the tiny bit of distance between him and the fairy and brings the jar down. He blinks when it looks like the jar goes directly through the fairy’s body and suddenly he doesn’t see her at all. It’s as if she has disappeared.

He looks at Dean who screws the lid frantically on to the top of the jar (which looks empty to him). The moment it’s sealed completely, Dean looks up at Castiel with a look of triumph on his face. In that moment, Dean’s hands jerk weirdly, and Castiel sees the tips of his fingers turning white as he tightens his hold on the jar. Suddenly, Dean goes flying through the air, propelled by the jar, and slams roughly into a lamp post nearby. Castiel is already moving towards him when he sees the way Dean’s body slumps and fear reaches his heart when he realizes he’s unconscious. Before he tends to Dean though, he makes a grab for the jar and is pleased when his angel strength is enough to hold it steady.

He keeps one hand on the jar, and moves behind Dean to check for blood. He's filled with relief when there isn't any, and decides to see if he can wake Dean on his own. He places a hand on his shoulder and gently shakes him. "Dean?" He says. "Dean, wake up," he continues. Dean stirs but his eyes don't open. Castiel cups Dean's face in his hand and lifts his head gently towards himself. "Dean, come on, baby," he pleads, "wake up."

He lets out a sigh of relief when Dean's eyes blink open. "Ow," he says in a rough voice.

"Is it your head?" Castiel asks, hating that he can't fix this. "Don't move too quickly."

"Do you still have the jar?" Dean asks in a panic and Castiel places a hand on his chest to hold him down.

"Yes, but please, stay still until I call an ambulance."

"When have you ever seen me go in an ambulance?" Dean asks. "Are you sure _you_ didn't hit your head?" Castiel just keeps looking at him with eyes wide with fear. "Cas. I'm fine, okay?"

"You lost consciousness!" Castiel argues.

"Most people who get thrown into a fucking lamp post would," Dean says. "But my vision's fine. I've had enough concussions to know I don't have one right now. Just a goose egg the size of a fucking golf ball."

Castiel's hands are literally itching to heal him and he feels a wave of hate towards himself for choosing not to when he knows Dean is in pain. "I can -"

"Don't," Dean says sternly. "I'm fine. Pull me up," Dean says and Castiel stands with one hand still clutching the jar and pulls Dean up to his feet. He doesn't let go until he's sure he's steady, and even then, it's reluctantly. "So apparently even if the fairy can't break the jar, the little bitch is still strong enough to drag my ass around. If you weren't an angel she would've gotten away," Dean says, and Castiel hears the meaning beneath the words, but doesn't acknowledge them.

"What do we do now?" He asks.

"Take her back to our room," Dean says. "People see us talking to an empty jar and it's not gonna go over well."

"Are you well enough to drive?" Castiel checks.

"Cas, seriously, I'm okay. I'll pop some Advil and grab some ice when we get back to the room and I'll be 100% by morning, okay?" Dean can tell Cas is hating every minute he's in pain to he leans in to wrap his arms around him. Cas hugs him so tight he thinks he might break something, but he grins and bares it.

"I hate knowing you're in pain," Castiel mutters.

"I know, but it's just a bump, I swear."

Castiel nods and they make their way back to the car, and then to the motel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even though I'm sure it's different in canon, Claire is older than Alex in this story.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Complete and utter smut.

When they walk into their hotel room, Castiel starts looking around. “Where do you think I should put the jar?”

Dean holds up a small piece of chalk and says, “Way ahead of you.” Castiel watches as Dean draws the containment symbol on the inside of a dresser drawer. He writes it on the top and bottom, and on both sides. He grabs a towel from the bathroom and hands it out to Cas. “Wrap the jar up in this so if she decides to be a bitch and bangs around all night it won’t be as loud for us.”

Castiel does as Dean asks, and then places the jar into the dresser drawer and closes it. As Dean thought, she does do some banging around in there, but it stops quickly, and Castiel assumes it’s because she realizes she can’t break free. One less thing to worry about.

Dean is already on his phone dialing his brother again, so Castiel busies himself by getting Dean the Advil and ice he spoke of earlier. He presses the two pills into Dean’s hand and Dean swallows them dry. Then he takes the ice and places it on his head with a hiss, all still while holding his phone to his ear.

“This aint right, Cas,” Dean says to him when he sits on the end of the bed. “He doesn’t just not answer the damn phone.”

Castiel hates to see his mate like this. “Is there anything more I can do to help?” he asks desperately.

Dean looks at him and says, “Can you just...” and gestures for him to come closer.

Castiel walks over to him and stands between his legs. He pulls Dean into his chest by his shoulders, and wraps his arms around him the best he can. Soon, he feels Dean begin to relax in his arms, and he marvels at the comfort he can give the man he loves just by touching him. He holds him for a long time, eventually bringing his hand up to stroke through his hair, careful not to brush the goose egg Dean has. He leans down to kiss the top of his head, and Dean tilts up to look at him. He kisses his forehead, then each cheek, and finally gives Dean a soft kiss on his lips.

"Cas?" Dean says. 

"Yes, Dean?"

"I... I know we got the fairy in a jar over there and Claire on the road and no idea what the hell is up with Sa-Sammy..." his voice breaks on his brother's name, "but I need you."

"I'm right here," Castiel replies and he touches his lips to Dean's again gently. 

Dean deepens the kiss, pushing his tongue into Cas's mouth, and brings his hands up to sink into his hair. He pulls his lips back enough to move across Cas's jawline and once his lips press against his ear, he whispers, "Need you to help me forget. Just for a few minutes." 

Cas answers him by dropping to his knees in front of Dean and tipping his head back to let Dean's mouth continue to roam across his face and on to his neck. Dean hums his appreciation against Cas's skin and watches as goosebumps spread across his body. He keeps moving his mouth down further until he has to push Cas's shirt to the side to scrape his teeth against that spot on Cas's collar bone that drives him crazy. "Need you, Cas," Dean says again and Castiel feels it like prayer. Dean's longing for him is so strong in this moment he can feel it coming from his soul. He'll do anything to help this man. His mate. If this is what he needs right now, this is what he'll get. 

Dean feels Cas's fingers grab the hem of his shirt and he helps him to lift it up over his head. Cas's mouth immediately goes to his chest and Dean lets his hands travel down Cas's broad shoulders, to his back rippled with muscles before he grabs Cas's shirt and pulls it off, too. Cas's mouth only leaves his skin for a second but its immediately replaced with his roaming hands. Cas is touching every inch of him, and God, he needs this so bad right now. Every place Cas touches comes alive under his hands, under that fucking mouth of his, and he feels something other than fear, and it's intoxicating. He needs more. 

He knows it's kind of a dick move, but he reaches down and undoes his own belt buckle, and opens his fly. Cas takes the bait and moves his hands down quickly to pull Dean's hardening dick out of his boxers. Before he does anything else though, he starts pulling his pants all the way down and Dean leans back on to his hands so he can lift his hips to help. His pants barely hit the floor before Cas takes his whole length down his throat. Cas holds him still in his mouth for a little bit, letting the wet heat completely surround him, before Cas starts bobbing his head up and down in a fast and frantic pace. 

"Ugh, yah, Cas. Uhhhh," Dean moans.   
Spurred on further by the sounds coming from Dean, Castiel licks his way back to the tip of Dean's cock and flicks at the slit with his tongue as he continues to work the rest of Dean with his hand. He lets saliva pool in his mouth and then spits it on to Dean's hard length to slick it up for both of them. "Fuck that feels good," Dean tells him. 

Dean watches as his dick disappears around those pink lips he loves so much, and thinks for the hundredth time how fucking hot that looks. He's breathing hard with the effort not to thrust into that mouth when Cas starts sucking. He watches as Cas's cheeks hollow and has to close his eyes at the sensation. Cas's hands come up to cover his and he laces his fingers into them, but Cas just moves them to his head and Dean groans because now he gets it. 

He digs his fingers into the silky strands of Cas's messy hair and feels Cas let his muscles go lax as he unhinges his jaw for Dean. Dean groans again when he pulls Cas deeper on to his cock and then fucks into his mouth. He feels the vibration of Cas's moan around him and knows he's giving Cas exactly what he wants. "Gonna fuck your beautiful, dirty fucking mouth like you want me to, angel," Dean tells him and Cas hums his agreement.

Dean starts moving his hips, guiding Cas's head by his hair to fuck into his mouth exactly the way he likes it. Cas's tongue helps to push him into the roof of his mouth and it's so much hot moisture all at once and it feels unbelievable. "Love your mouth so much," Dean praises. "So good for me, Cas. Always so good."

He pushes in further and knows he's forcing himself down Cas's throat. Cas swallows around him and Dean feels the muscles work around his cock and he knows he's almost done. Cas is taking him apart, using everything he knows he likes to make him lose his mind, all because Dean asked him to. No question. He's amazing. God, he loves him so much.

The emotions crashing through Dean causes him to loosen his grip on Cas's hair for a second and Cas takes advantage of it by slipping off almost completely to the top of his dick again, flicking his tongue on the head, and then taking him all the way into his throat again. He does it again, and Dean can hear himself panting now. "Cas," he groans as Cas does it once more, all the way off, licking his slit, and then all the way in. When he does it a third time Dean can't even make a sound in his throat. He can't catch his breath and he can feel his orgasm spreading from the heat in his stomach. "Cas," he manages to croak and Cas pulls all the way off. Green eyes lock with bright blue ones for a moment heavy with _something_ between them. 

Castiel keeps pumping Dean with his hand and when his voice comes out deep and rough, he says, "I want you to come on my face." 

Dean almost comes just hearing the words. He feels his heartbeat kick up into overdrive because fuck it if that isn't the hottest fucking thing he's ever heard in his whole damn life. He feels his balls tighten and he keeps his eyes open to see it when he comes in thick ropes, painting Cas's face as he blows his load all over the angel. 

Dean hears Cas gasp when the first spurt of come hits his face and watches as his mouth opens, trying to catch as much of it as he can. As soon as he's done, Cas dives back down to Dean's oversensitive cock and laps up every drop of come that didn't land on his face. Dean pulls him off by his hair and thinks if it was possible to come a second time already, he would.

Cas's face is flushed with arousal, his hair absolutely wild from Dean's fingers, his pupils blown blacker than he's ever seen them, his lips swollen, and his face covered in his come. Dean groans again when Cas's tongue comes out to lick his lips, and leans in to help him kiss the mess off of Cas's lips himself. He hears a moan come from Cas and remembers how much he liked this the last time. Well, he earned it. Dean lets his tongue drag through more of the come on Cas's face and feels Cas tremble beneath him. Dean hears a zipper and knows Cas must be achingly hard in his jeans right now. He finishes cleaning him up and pulls him to his feet. 

He watches while Cas strokes himself with long, nimble fingers. Cas's chin rests on chest as he watches himself. His cock is flushed a deep red and dripping from the tip. Cas's shoulders are heaving and even still, he's trembling. Dean reaches around him and grabs his ass. He pulls Cas towards him and opens his own mouth to let Cas push into it. He takes him as far as he can into his mouth and begins to gag. "Dean," he hears Cas whine. He pulls back and tries again, this time getting even further despite the sounds of protest his throat makes.

"Fuck," Cas swears and Dean grins. Making his angel swear is always rewarding. Dean bobs his head, drags his tongue across the tip of Cas's cock, and takes a deep breath before he tries again and he's finally able to take Cas all the way into his throat and bury his nose in Cas's pubic hair. Cas's hands come up to hold him there and he thrusts his dick even further into Dean's mouth. Dean gags noisily before he hears Cas shout his name once more and then there's a rush of hot, bitter fluid making its way down Dean's throat. 

Dean doesn't usually swallow, but Cas was so good to him, (and he isn't exactly letting go of Dean's hair anyway) so he swallows what he can and waits until Cas's fingers go slack. He's able to pull off now to try and catch his breath, and he feels come dripping down the corners of his mouth, but before he can wipe it away, Cas is licking around his mouth to clean him up, and finally finishes by kissing Dean in what is easily the filthiest fucking kiss they have ever shared. 

Cas drops face first on to the bed and Dean chuckles. He grabs him around the waist and drags him up to their pillows where Cas finally rolls over so that Dean can snuggle into his favourite spot on his neck. 

They lay there and catch their breath together, allowing the post-orgasmic haze to make its way through their bodies. 

When Castiel feels like his brain is working again, he suddenly feels self conscious about what he just asked his lover to do to him. He swallows thickly and says, "Was that... was that acceptable?" 

"Are you kidding? That's definitely got a spot on my highlight reel," he jokes. "Seeing you like that was prob'ly the hottest thing I've ever seen. Ever." 

Castiel smiles shyly. "The intensity of the pleasure I felt from... what I asked you to do surprised me."

"I could tell. You were shaking," Dean says and he can feel Cas's skin heat up under him. "Don't be embarrassed," he tells Cas softly. 

"I'm not when I'm in the moment, it's just afterwards I wonder why I want these things and what it is about me that makes me enjoy them," Cas says. 

"Do what I do and don't think about it. When I think about basically swallowing my own jizz or letting you lick my asshole it's disgusting, man. But when I'm doing it with you, it feels good and it doesn't matter why, ok?"

"Alright," Cas replies. "Thank you."

"Thank _you_ ," Dean says. "I definitely wasn't thinking about anything but you for a little while. And I feel better somehow. More steady." He props himself up on to his elbows and leans in to kiss Cas quickly. "Back to real life now. I gotta get clothes back on and you definitely need to wash your face," he says with a laugh, and he's happy when Cas laughs with him. He really, really loves this guy. 


	18. Chapter 18

Once the boys are both cleaned up and back in their clothes, Dean decides to try talking with the fairy. “Cas? Let’s take out Tinker Bell and see how she feels about talking after being cooped up for a little while.”

Castiel goes to open the dresser and grabs the jar. He sits at the head of the bed so that Dean is able to lay on the bed comfortably to be face to face with her while he talks to her. Even after everything Castiel has witnessed in his existence so far, it’s still strange to watch as Dean attempts to interrogate something he can’t see.

“Listen up, firefly, this is how this is gonna go,” Dean says in his gruffest, deepest voice. The fairy rolls her eyes at him and crosses her arms over her naked chest. “You tell me what the deal is with you abducting these people _and_ you tell me where the people are that you already took, and I let you go. You don’t tell me, we keep you as our new favourite flying pet.”

“They’ll come for me,” she says threateningly. “Maybe they’ll even send the friends of the fairy you microwaved to come after you. I know they’ve been waiting a long time for this.”

“K, Cas, put her back in the drawer,” Dean says dismissively as he rolls over on to his back.

“Wait,” the fairy says. She sounds angry but resigned. “I have a family to get back to. Please don’t keep me here. I’m just doing my job!”

Dean rolls back to his stomach and says, “What’s the job?”

“We’re granting wishes,” she says.

Dean flicks his eyes up to get Cas’s reaction before he remembers he can’t hear what’s being said. “What wishes are you granting? You expect me to believe these people wished to be abducted?”

“Not exactly. But they _did_ wish for things to go back to the way they were before they had children. So, we took them away from what they wanted to get away from. We helped them,” she explains.

“Are you freaking kidding me? Every parent wishes to get away from their kids sometimes! Are you tellin’ me you’re going to take every parent who thinks like that?”

“Of course not. We’re only allowed to take one a year,” she says grudgingly.

“Did you take all of the four people from here? Are there more?” he asks.

“No, only the four. And yes, I took them. They’re horrible mothers. I’m not even sorry,” she spits at him.

“Are they still alive?” She nods her head and crosses her arms in front of her again. “Out loud, nipples,” Dean says meanly. Cas’s jaw drops and Dean notices. “She’s naked in there!” he says and he wiggles his eyebrows at Cas.

“Yes, they’re alive, you disgusting pig of man,” she says to him and Dean flinches despite himself.

“Okay, you’re right, that was a dick thing to say. I’ll forget you’re naked if you tell me where they are. I need to get them back to their families,” he insists.

"Why do you even care?" She asks.

"Listen, I grew up with no mom and a dad who was never around, and it fucking sucked, okay? I'm almost forty and I'm still dealing with shit in my life now because of that. The less fucked up kids in the world, the better," he says.

She actually laughs before she says, “Well, you can’t get them back from my world on your own. Humans can't even go there.”

“Been there already, remember? Nice try though,” Dean tells her. He actually respects her a little bit more for the lie. “Take me with you. Show me the girls, give them back, and then let me take them home where they belong and you can stay there with your family. We trade.”

“Dean,” Cas says with a hint of fear in his voice. “You don’t know that she will actually let you come back.”

Dean flicks his eyes back to the fairy and says, “That’s a fair point. Can you make yourself visible to him, too? Make my life a lot easier.”

She narrows her eyes at him but then Cas gasps. “You can see her?” Dean checks.

“I can see her,” Castiel assures him, but he still isn’t looking directly at her. More like slightly over her head.

“Then what are you doin’?” Dean asks.

“She’s naked, Dean. It isn’t appropriate for me to look at her.”

“Even an angel has better manners than you do,” the fairy grumbles.

“We could make a contract,” Castiel suggests.

“Did I shrink and get an accent all of the sudden?" Dean asks. "I'm not Crowley!"

“We aren’t going to ask for her soul,” Castiel replies patiently. Then he tilts his head and wonders, “Do fairies even have souls?”

“Of course we have souls!” the fairy replies indignantly. “ _You_ don’t. And _he_ has some kind of angel-soul hybrid concoction inside of him. I’m the only normal soul in this room!”

“You’re pretty ballsy for a naked midget in a jar,” Dean says and she flinches, but keeps her mouth shut. “What about this contract?” he asks Cas.

“It’s just a spell. Make the terms, speak the spell, both of you sign it, and it’s unbreakable.”

“Sounds like Harry Potter,” Dean murmurs. Cas’s eyebrows draw together in confusion and Dean says, “We haven’t watched that one yet.” Dean looks at the fairy. "What do you think? Would you be happy with a contract?"

"It seems fair, as long as we're both able to read it over ahead of time."

Dean goes to grab a piece of paper on the motel notepad, and begins writing in a messy scrawl, "I, Dean Winchester, agree by signing below not to hurt or harm in any way - what's your name anyway?"

"Eolande," she says, and then spells it for him. Dean shares a glance with Cas about how stupid the name is, but then keeps writing  

"The fairy Eolande, in exchange for the safe return of myself, Kassidy, Kristen, Jessica and Sherry to our homes."

"In return, I, the fairy Eolande, agree by signing below to return Dean, Kassidy, Kristen, Jessica and Sherry safely to their homes in exchange for freedom without any harm to myself."

Dean looks up to check with Cas and Eolande. Castiel says, "I think you should add 'immediate return' so she can't keep you there for any amount of time."

"Good one," Dean says as he adds that in. "Any other loop holes?"

"I think that's as clear as it can possibly be," Castiel says.

With one last look at Cas, Dean signs his name. He rolls up the piece of paper, but before he sticks it in the jar he says to Cas, "If anything happens to me -"

"Then I will find you and bring you back," Castiel interrupts with fierce determination. "I will always find you."

Dean believes him. "I love you, Cas," he says and leans in to kiss him like he'll never do it again, just in case.

When they finally break apart, panting, and desperate, Castiel says, "I love you, too. I'll see you soon."

Dean slips the piece of paper and a tiny piece of pencil lead into the jar, and watches as Eolande signs it. They open the jar again and take the contract out, and replace the lid for the time being. Castiel brings the jar and the contract over to the small desk and sits. He looks up at Dean with a small smile, and then begins speaking the spell from memory. When he's done talking, the paper glows momentarily, and Castiel says, "Ready."

Dean takes a deep breath and says, "Okay, let her out."

Castiel opens the jar and the fairy zooms out. She does a few laps of their room and before Dean can defend himself, she slaps him across the face and the force makes his head snap to the side.

"That was for the comment about my nipples," she says sternly.

Dean exchanges a look with Cas and says, "Guess I deserved that." But he frowns when Cas doesn't disagree.

"Are you ready?" She asks him.

"Let's do this," Dean says. Before Castiel can even begin to say goodbye again, they're both gone.

Seconds later, he hears Dean's cell phone start ringing and sees it on the bed. He walks over and decides to answer it. "Hello?" he says.

"Agent Tyler?" The voice on the other end says.

"No, sorry, this is Agent Spears. How can I be of assistance?"

"This is Steve, you came to see me about my wife Kassidy this morning?"

"Yes, is everything alright?" He asks.

"You're never going to believe this... but she's back," Steve says. Castiel can hear the emotion and shock in his voice. "She just walked in through the front door. She doesn't know where she was, but she's back, and she isn't hurt, and I just wanted to let you know."

"I am so pleased to hear that, Steve. Make sure you contact the local police as well," he says. "Call me if you need anything else."

"Thank you, thank you so much," Steve says and the line goes dead.

When Castiel looks up from ending the call on Dean's phone, Dean is standing in front of him. "Dean!" Castiel exclaims as if he hasn't seen him in years. He rushes towards him and wraps him tightly in a hug. "Are you alright?"

"Yah, man. I'm fine." Dean allows himself to be held for just a minute. "We gotta check on the girls and make sure Tinker Bell didn't nark on our deal and they got back okay," Dean says.

"They're back. Steve called about Kassidy. She's home," Castiel smiles. Dean allows himself to take a deep breath of relief. "What happened? You came back so quickly!"

"I barely even got a glimpse of where they were. Bitch took my eyesight away from me as soon as my feet touched the ground. Freaked me the fuck out. I did get to talk to all four women, though. They all think they were taken on the same day and they all think that day was today. Kassidy had no idea she has been gone for four years. Time is fucked up in fairy land," Dean says. "I felt like I'd been gone for an hour or so, but you said I came right back?"

"I doubt you were gone even two full minutes," Castiel says. "Though it felt longer," he admits.

"Didn't think you'd get rid of me that easily, did ya?" Dean jokes.

"I was frightened," Castiel admits. "I was just beginning to think about how I was ever going to find you without my grace if you didn't come back when your phone rang. And then here you were," Castiel smiles.

"I'm glad to be back. But I gotta tell ya, I feel like that was a little bit too easy," Dean says.

Castiel frowns. "You live a very strange life when getting knocked unconscious by an invisible creature in a jar is too easy. You just travelled to and from Avalon - land of the fairies - in minutes. You saved four people, and you were slapped so hard across the face you still have a mark," he says as he brings his hand up to cover the welt there. "That was easy?"

"Compared to some other cases, yah," he says. "Guess it wasn't _that_ cut and dry. Good idea with the contract," Dean says. "Can't believe we never used that before."

Castiel smiles. "There, um, there's no such thing as a magical contract, Dean. I made it up."

"What?" Dean asks.

"I made the paper glow with the magic, yes, but there's no such thing as a magical contract. She didn't have to bring you back, and you didn't have to let her go."

"But... What if she didn't send me back!?" Dean asks in astonishment.

"I had faith she would," Castiel says simply. "Besides, I told you I would find you."

Dean shakes his head at his angel. "You sneaky son of a bitch. I can't believe that actually worked!" Dean says, and then he starts laughing. Castiel finds himself laughing along, and notices some of the tension and worry he had been holding on to leaves his body.

They're interrupted by Dean's cell phone ringing again, and Dean sees Claire's number on the screen. "Claire? You there yet?

"Duh, I told you I'd call when I got here," she says and Dean can practically hear her eyes rolling as she talks. "I just got to the bunker and there's an old beat up car parked here in one of the guest spots."

"What's the plate on it?"

"Already ran it. Florida plates, belongs to a redhead. Donna Bates. So are we thinking demon?" Claire asks.

Dean huffs out a laugh. "I'm going to kill my brother," Dean says. But he doesn't really sound mad.

"Why?" Claire asks.

Dean shushes Cas with a finger and says, "You know what, it could still be a demon. Stay on the line until you find him. Make sure to stay quiet so they don't hear you," he says, and he's having a hard time keeping his voice even.

"Okay," Claire whispers. The line stays quiet as Claire makes her way through the bunker. "Nobody in the map room," Claire whispers, and Dean can hear her footsteps going down the metal stairs.

"Hey elephant feet, keep it down," Dean tells her.

"Turn your hearing aid down," she whispers, but he doesn't hear her feet again. After another few seconds of quiet he hears something muffled come over the speaker. "Moaning," Claire says.

"He could be hurt. Take your gun out and be careful," Dean tells her.

"Already had it out, how stupid do you think I am?" Claire hisses at him.

Dean turns to smile at Cas but Cas has no idea what's going on. He shushes him again and mouths, "Just wait."

"Right around this corner..." Claire says so quietly Dean can barely hear it.

"S-Sam? OH MY GOD. GROSS!" Dean hears Claire say.

"CLAIRE!?" Dean hears Sam say in a voice that's much higher than his normal voice. "What the hell are you doing here!?"

Dean is laughing so hard by now he can barely catch his breath. Cas has finally clued into the game Dean was playing and although part of him is irritated for subjecting Claire to who knows what she just saw, he can't help but laugh along when he sees Dean having this much fun.

"I am SO NOT talking to you when you don't have any freaking clothes on!" Claire yells at Sam. "God, I'm scarred for life. I can never unsee that," she says more to herself than anybody. She can hear Dean laughing, and says, "Dean Winchester, you're an asshole! I'm going to kill you! Hit him for me, Cas!"

Dean lets out a yelp when Cas swats his ass, but just to get Claire going he says, "Oh baby, do it again. I like that."

"You're disgusting too," Claire says. "Is it a Winchester family trait to be sexually deviant or something? God!"

"Sexually deviant?" Castiel echoes just as Dean can hear Sam yell a bitchy, "CLAIRE!"

"What'd you see Sammy doing?" Dean asks.

"No. Nope. Never will I ever acknowledge what I just saw again. Never."

"Gimme the phone," he hears Sam say.

He hears Claire say, "I can never look you in the face again," before Sam's voice comes on the phone properly.

"Dean?"

"Hello, hello James Dean," Dean jokes.

"Oh shut up. What the hell is going on?" Sam asks.

"Gee, Sammy, I don't know. Maybe me and Cas and Claire were working a case and my brother was supposed to be looking up some fairy lore for us and then didn't answer his phone for twelve fucking hours," Dean says.

"So you sent Claire to check on me? What if I was in danger?"

"She's a hunter, and we were kinda in the middle of a case! If I knew she was going to be walking into a porno shoot I wouldn't have sent her!" Dean says.

"Fuck you," Sam says lightly.

"We thought something happened to you, man," Dean tells him more seriously.

Sam takes a breath and Dean knows he's running his hands through his hair. "I know. I'm sorry. I was stupid. I got... distracted."

"No kidding." Dean says sarcastically.

"I'm sorry, okay? I really dropped the ball, man. I can't believe Claire drove all the way over here and walked in on us. Shit." He lowers his voice and says, "We probably _did_ scar for her life."

"What were you doing? Sub/Dom stuff? Whips and chains? Golden shower?"

"You're such a dick," Sam says.

Dean smiles because it's true. "Claire's not driving back here tonight now, it'll be too late. So let her stay there with you guys - do NOT freak her out again - and we'll be home the day after tomorrow."

"Why aren't you coming home first thing tomorrow?" Sam asks.

"Cas wants to see the fireworks again," Dean says with a smile to his boyfriend. Cas smiles and his eyes warm with it.

"You are such a girl," Sam says, and Dean lets him get a jab in because he would so not want to be him right now.

"Blow me," Dean says. "Thanks for not being dead. I'll talk to you later, loser." And he hangs up on him.

"That was a cruel thing to do," Castiel says but Dean just laughs.

"That was amazing," Dean counters. He's damn proud of himself for that idea. Funniest thing he's done in months!

"Why would you want to embarrass Sam, Donna, and Claire in that way?" Castiel asks.

"Because it was funny! That's what siblings do," Dean says, but Cas does not look amused. "Come on, it was a little bit funny. Admit it."

Castiel's mouth quirks at one side and says, "Don't you ever tell any of them I laughed."

"Don't worry angel, your secret's safe with me," Dean says and he pulls him in to kiss him lightly. "Since we wrapped up the case, you wanna watch some tv before we go bed?"

"I'd like that. It's been a busy day," Cas says.

"Harry Potter or Friends?" Dean asks.

"Friends would be good, in case you become distracted at some point," Castiel says.

Dean's eyebrows shoot up. "You think so, huh?"

"I'm... just saying," Castiel tries and Dean snorts.

"I like the way you think," Dean replies and kisses him once more, before he grabs the laptop and climbs onto their bed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know the whole fairy storyline was kinda lame. 
> 
> I'M SORRY, okay? 
> 
> I will likely never write another story with hunting in it because frankly, it was like pulling teeth. Not my kinda thing. 
> 
> From here on out, I'm hoping to get back to pure fluff and smut, and hopefully that will help to move the story along in my head.


	19. Chapter 19

Nobody is more surprised than Dean when he wakes up hours later, still fully dressed, with Netflix still going and Cas fast asleep beside him. He climbs out of bed, puts the laptop away, uses the bathroom and brushes his teeth, changes into his pajamas, flicks off the lamps, and plugs in both his and Cas's phones to charge overnight. Slightly more awake now, but still tired, he climbs back into bed behind Cas. Cas has rolled on to his side, facing away from Dean's side of the bed. He debates waking Cas up so he can change into his own pajamas, but figures if his clothes bother him too much he would wake up on his own. He throws his arm around Cas's waist and presses his face into the the curve of the back of Cas's neck. He can't resist planting a soft kiss behind his ear there, one on his neck, and one on his shoulder.

He hears Cas hum happily and feels him press back into his touch, so he continues to cover what little skin Cas has left exposed with kiss after kiss. He runs his hand across the tight muscles of Cas's stomach, and then lets it dip lower to go under the hem of his shirt to find more skin. His hand caresses every inch of skin with soft, lazy strokes and the quiet sounds Cas makes in response encourages him to touch more, taste more. "Dean," Cas whispers.

"Mm hmm," Dean responds, and moves his lips up to tongue at Cas's ear. Cas lets out a huff of breath and Dean catches the lobe between his teeth. Cas's breath hitches and he rolls towards Dean to press their lips together. Dean allows the kiss to continue longer than he has in weeks. He loses himself in it. In the familiarity of Cas's taste. In the way their tongues slide against one another. In the way their lips become tender and swollen. In the way Cas uses the perfect amount of teeth to keep the kiss teetering on the thin line between sweet and sexy.

Finally, Cas breaks away and trails his mouth down to Dean's neck. Dean exhales with a sound of pure happiness. Dean feels Cas drag his hands over his shoulders and down to his chest while he runs his own hands over Cas's strong back. Cas finds Dean's nipples through his shirt, and Dean groans when he rolls it between his fingers. He feels his hips thrust forward without his permission, and Cas snickers against his neck. Cas's hands continue to drop lower, until he presses his palm against the bulge in Dean's pants. With only a thin layer of fabric between them, it's easy to tell how hard Dean is. Dean takes in the delicious feeling of pressure on his erection, and reciprocates to palm Cas through his jeans.

Thinking that it's just not enough, he pushes up Cas's shirt, works on the button and the fly of his jeans, and pushes them along with Cas's underwear down far enough on his legs to free his hard length from the confining space of his jeans. He swipes his thumb over the head of Cas's penis, and spreads the warm liquid gathering there. Cas moans and captures Dean's mouth with his again, while his hand dips under the elastic band of Dean's pajamas and pulls out his erection. Dean feels Cas copy his movements with his thumb, and Dean gasps against his mouth when he feels the quick slide against the slit of his dick.

Dean's hand tightens around Cas in reaction to Cas's movements, and Dean knows he needs some help to make this wetter than it is. "Wings," Dean murmurs between kisses and Cas complies, allowing his wings to manifest behind him. Dean brings his hand up to sink his fingers deep into the feathers for a moment before he finds the little nub at the base of his wings and presses it to coat his fingers with the oil. He drags his hand over every feather he can on his way back to Cas's body and he feels that warm vibration under his hand again. The grace. God, he loves that feeling.

Finally, he brings his hand back down between their bodies. He takes Cas's hand away from his dick and shares the oil between both of their hands. This time, when they grasp each other, it's with warm, oily hands, and the increased sensations have them both groaning. Their lips find each other's again, and they stroke each other with alternating soft pulls, twists of their wrists, thumbs over their slits, and long, languid movements.

"Dean," Cas says, and Dean knows it's a warning.

"Mmmm," Dean responds his acknowledgement. He can't stop kissing Cas. He doens't want to. He wants to keep this perfect feeling inside of him. He can feel his orgasm building and for once he fights to keep himself from exploding. He wants _more_. He wants this slow, lazy, intimate pace to keep going for days. Years. Forever.

"Dean," Cas moans this time against Dean's mouth. Dean isn't pulling away. "I love you," he whispers between kisses. "My mate. My love. My heart. Mine. Always," Cas babbles.

These words bring Dean closer to the edge, and he breaks his silence responding. "Always, Cas. Always. You're everything to me."

"Dean," Cas gasps, and then it's with a shudder that he spills all over Dean's hand and on to the bed between them. Though Cas's mouth hangs open in silent pleasure, his hand never stops moving. Dean sucks on his bottom lip, and the filthy groan Cas responds with is what causes Dean to finally let go. He feels his orgasm move through him as Cas milks out every last drop, sweet and slow, like it's been since the beginning.

"I love you," Dean says, and Cas finally comes back to earth enough to kiss him back. He lets Cas kiss him through his orgasm, and when he's finally spent, he lifts his mouth to kiss Cas on the forehead, then rests their heads together for a moment. It's dark. He feels vulnerable and so, so, full of happiness that he feels tears burning behind his eyes. He blinks them away, but not before he says, "I love you so damn much, Cas. Never knew I could love anybody this much." 

Cas scoots closer, either not caring or forgetting about the mess between them, and presses himself against Dean as tightly as he possibly can from head to toe. Dean can barely tell where his body ends and Cas's begins. That's when he feels the grace inside of him surge from his soul towards his mate, and he gasps at that tingling, warm feeling on his skin.

Castiel feels it like he's being called home. He closes his eyes as he runs his hands over Dean's skin, revelling in the sensation for longer than he should. This feeling is what he's been waiting his entire existence to feel with somebody, and every time it's better than he ever thought it would be. It pains him, but he keeps his own grace tightly within his vessel although he can feel it fighting against him with fierce determination.

"Dean," he says, and this time it comes out like a plea. He promised he wouldn't use any of his grace.

The request coming from Cas in that way reminds Dean that he isn't supposed to share this with him right now. He closes his eyes and thinks of his grace like a spool of thread, and thinks about it reeling back in. Soon, the feeling is gone, and he feels oddly cold and empty without it. The tears that were gathering in his eyes from happiness only a minute ago return, but this time it's because he's grieving the loss. He wraps his arms around Cas tighter and has to sniffle to keep his nose from dripping onto Cas's shoulder when he realizes the wings are gone again.

"I'm so sorry, Dean," Castiel whispers, and his hands caress Dean's back in a comforting gesture. He had to hide his wings. It's too much of a tease to both of them. 

"'S'okay, Cas," Dean tells him, and he's ashamed at how his voice cracks on those few words.

"It's not," Cas argues. "I know too well how it feels do deny your soul the thing it wants most in the world. It hurts. I'm so sorry I'm doing this to you," Cas says.

Dean pulls back enough so that he can look into his boyfriend's eyes. "I get it, okay? I understand. I'm not mad." He brings his hand up to cup Cas's face and stroke his thumb over his cheekbone. "I just love you so damn much, Cas. Hard to keep it inside."

Cas smiles and Dean sees some of the pain leave his eyes. "I completely understand," Cas says. "I'm going to clean up and change into my pajamas. I'll be right back," he says, and he leans in to kiss Dean's forehead before he scoots away. Dean pushes the stained blanket off of the bed, wiping his sticky hands on it as well, and climbs under the thin blanket and sheet that remain on the bed. Cas climbs back into the bed beside him, and lays on his back so Dean can snuggle in the way they both like best.

Dean feels Cas stroke his back and his eyes drift closed. He's close to sleep when he hears Cas say softly, "You're my best friend." Dean wonders what Cas has been thinking about for him to come to that conclusion after everything that just happened in the middle of the night, but really, it doesn't matter because he has felt the same way for years.

"Me, too," Dean says. He kisses the spot on Cas's shoulder his lips are closest to, and when he finally falls asleep, it's with a smile on his face.

He doesn't know it, but Castiel falls asleep the same way.

*****

They wake up late the next morning, still feeling cuddly and affectionate towards one another. They lay in bed later than they normally would, talking about whatever comes to mind, trading kisses, caresses, and smiling and laughing with each other before Dean finally pulls Cas into the shower with him. For the first time ever, they don't have sex in the shower, but they're both still happy (if not somewhat aroused) with washing and appreciating the intimacy of each other's bodies under the hot spray of the shower head.

When Dean turns off the water and they wrap each other in towels, Castiel says, "I never realized how much decent water pressure makes a difference in enjoying a shower."

Dean puts on a mock hurt face and says, "You tellin' me you didn't enjoy that shower?"

Castiel smiles because they both know he did, "You know what I meant."

"Yah, I do," he says in a very Joey Tribiani-like way, and Cas smiles wider at that. Dean is what he considers to be dry enough, so uses his towel to help Cas dry off his back and his legs. His angel won't put a stitch of clothing on until he's completely dry - the weirdo - and while he wouldn't usually want to rush that along, he's starving.

"Thank you," Castiel says and turns to kiss Dean quickly before Dean covers his head with the towel to help dry his hair. When he lifts the towel Cas's hair is absolutely everywhere and he has never looked more adorable. He will deny it to the day he dies, but he leans in and kisses Cas on the tip of his nose before he blushes and then turns away to get dressed.

Castiel feels his heart melt in his chest, but knows after Dean blushed at what he would consider a 'sappy' gesture not to mention it.

"I can't believe it's almost time to check out. I don't even remember the last time I slept until 11:00!" Dean exclaims, and Castiel knows he's changing the subject purposely. He lets him.

"Considering how uncomfortable this mattress is, I slept fairly well."

"Middle of the night hand jobs'll do that to ya," Dean says with a wink.

"I'll remember that the next time we stay somewhere with a crappy mattress," Castiel replies and Dean laughs at how it sounds to hear Cas say 'crappy'.

"You talk more and more like me every day," Dean says as he pulls on the same jeans he wore yesterday. They're already perfectly worn in from the day before, and he still feels lazy and sleepy without his coffee.

Castiel shrugs (also very much like Dean) and says, "Sometimes your words just fit the situation better."

"I don't care," Dean says, reassuring him. "You can talk however you want. I was just making conversation. It's funny to hear myself come outta your mouth every now and then."

"Do you know what the weather is supposed to be like today? I never know what to wear," Castiel says.

"I'll install the weather app on your phone when we get back home," Dean says. "I checked earlier and it should be about the same today as it was yesterday."

Castiel nods and pulls out a heavy long-sleeved shirt. It has wide stripes of grey and black on it, and the stitching is exposed around the cuffs of the shirt. It's comfortable and warm, he notices as he pulls it over his head. He turns to see Dean has a long-sleeve t-shirt on. It's a dark green on the sleeves and a lighter shade of green on the body. It makes Dean's eyes pop and the deep pink of his lips is a stunning contrast. Castiel feels a flip of nerves in his stomach when he meets the earthy green of his mate's eyes. "The green in that shirt makes your eyes look phenomenal," Castiel says. "It's very flattering on you. Gives me what I believe you refer to as butterflies in my stomach to look at you," he confesses. 

Dean smiles and cocks his head to the side in an adoring sort of way. "Thanks, angel," he says lightly. "Why don't you go check us out, and I'll grab our stuff and load up Baby.

"I thought we were staying one more night?" Castiel asks in confusion.

"We are, but not here. Sammy texted me last night and said he found a killer deal on a nice place, so we can upgrade for just a little bit more money," Dean lies.

"That's lovely. I really don't enjoy the mattress here," he confesses, then he leaves to check them out.

Dean waits to make sure Cas isn't going to come back before he digs into his duffel bag and finds the pair of socks he has kept the ring box hidden in since they left the bunker. He stuffs the box into his jacket pocket before he shrugs into it, and it suddenly feels like he's wearing a jacket made of lead. He closes his eyes and brings back the image of Cas on the Ferris wheel with the fireworks going off around him. This is what Dean wants. The reminder steadies him the way he wanted it to, and he feels lighter when he grabs Cas's duffel and throws them both over a shoulder.

He loads them into the trunk, then pulls out his phone to text Sam. "Think I'm popping the big Q tonight. Need a nice room in the area to celebrate in case Cas is dumb enough to say yes."

Sam's reply is almost instant, and Dean laughs to himself at how he can guarantee Sam will never not have his phone on him for a really long time. The message says, "OMG Dean! That's great! I'm so happy for you! We both know he'll say yes, don't be stupid. I can't wait to hear all about it when you come back! I'll let you know where I book you." Dean feels his face flush at Sam's enthusiasm before he deletes the conversation and climbs into the car to wait for Cas. It's dumb, but Sam saying that Cas will say yes makes him feel better.

Castiel comes out a minute later to report it wasn't the same man who was working when they checked in and he was able to check out with no issues. Then they take off for the same diner they ate dinner at yesterday with Claire. With as much as their lives change from day to day, Castiel has discovered that Dean is actually a creature of habit when he has the chance to be. Dean's happy to eat the same foods over and over and visit the same restaurant as often as he can. Castiel thinks it's a way for Dean to keep a sense of normalcy in his otherwise hectic life, and so he has no problems with going back to the same place.

Dean and Cas are seated in a booth and Dean could weep with gratitude when coffee is brought to their table almost immediately. Dean can't even wait for it to cool down before he takes a drink, and yep, it's scalding hot. His eyes water and he imagines blisters popping up as the coffee makes its way down his throat.

"Fuck," he croaks. Even though he rarely does this, he adds a couple of little creamers to his coffee to cool it down. "Should've done that to begin with," he grumbles and takes another drink. Much better.

"Are you alright?" Castiel asks.

"Just burnt my tongue. I think I'll live," he says.

"I'm pleased to hear that," Castiel replies with a smile. He lets his hand rest on the table in case Dean wants to hold it, and is happy when Dean reaches out to do just that. "It's almost noon. Are we ordering breakfast or lunch?"

"Whatever you want. I'm thinkin' bacon and eggs with a side of pancakes," Dean says as he looks at the menu.

"I enjoy more breakfast foods than actual food so far, so I think I will be predictable and choose waffles," Castiel says.

"Nothin' wrong with that," Dean tells him. "When you find what you like, you should keep it," he adds.

Castiel doesn't always catch these things, but he thinks perhaps Dean isn't strictly talking about food right now. But he doesn't know what else he could be talking about, either. He settles for replying, "I agree."

Dean beams and Castiel decides he must have said the right thing. The waitress comes to take their orders, and doesn't bat and eye at them holding hands or when Dean orders for both of them. It's nice when they're treated just like everybody else out for breakfast on a Sunday morning. Castiel hears a text message come in for Dean, and Dean snorts when he reads it.

" _If I thought you and Castiel were lame, I don't even know what to call your loser brother. If he tries to talk to me about my feelings again, I'm going to scalp him and sell his stupid hair on Craigslist_ ," Dean reads aloud. "Bet you can't guess who sent that."

Castiel smiles. "It's nice to be considered cooler than someone for a change," he says. Castiel means for it to come out lightly, but there's a note of truth in his words that comes through.

"I think you're pretty cool, Cas," Dean says with a smirk. "Wouldn't wanna hang out with you all day every day if I didn't think so."

"I appreciate you saying that," Castiel replies. "But I think we both know I'm a little too odd to be considered cool."

"Nope, still disagree. No way would I be in love with somebody who's not cool. As a matter of fact, I think you're automatically a little cooler just by being my boyfriend," he jokes. "Cool by association," he adds.

Castiel's face brightens at that. "You are pretty cool," he agrees.

"Damn right," Dean says, happy with the agreement. "We'll see how much cooler you think I am when I win you a giant stuffed animal at the fair."

Castiel's eyes light up and a smile spreads on his face. "Really?"

"What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't?" Dean asks.

"Wait, I thought you said those games were fixed so you couldn't win?"

"Oh it'll cost me a ton of money, but I'll win eventually," he says easily.

"I'm not comfortable with you spending a ton of money on me, Dean. You already pay for everything as it is," Castiel says.

"Hey, I want to. I like taking care of you," he assures him. "Besides, maybe I'll get lucky and win easily. That's part of the fun," he says.

The waitress comes back to bring them their food, and they eat in a comfortable silence. Dean thinks how nice it is that they're able to just be together without the pressure of always filling the silence. He's never been this way with anybody other than Sam. He's always loved how he and Sam could drive hours together without saying a word to one another one day, and then do it again the next day and never seem to run out of things to say. It's the same way with Cas, and it's another reason why he wants to spend the rest of his life with him. It just feels right.

It's then that he notices several of the customers talking about the missing people all returning to their homes, and Dean looks up at Cas to see that he, too, has followed the conversations around them. They share a secret smile between them and Dean allows himself to bask in the feeling of a job well done. Nobody was hurt, everybody got home safely, and he and Cas (okay, mostly Cas) outsmarted a fairy. Really, it was one of the most successful cases they've worked. The best kind.

Dean finishes his meal before Cas, as usual, and since they're in no rush to go anywhere, he takes the offer of a second cup of coffee from the waitress. Cas offers Dean the last few bites of his waffles, saying that he's too full to finish them, and Dean eats those, too.

"You have some whipped cream on your lip," Castiel tells him.

"Too bad you're way over there, or you could lick it off," Dean says quietly.

"I'm sure it would taste better off of your lips," Castiel replies smoothly and Dean feels arousal curl in his stomach.

"Definitely bringing whipped cream into our bedroom some time then," Dean says with a wink and he sees Cas's eyes widen in surprise. "Never thought of that before, huh?"

Castiel's eyes dart around to make sure nobody's listening and leans in closer to say, "What would you use it for?"

Dean shrugs, "I could cover myself with it and let you lick it off." Dean watches as arousal flashes in Cas's eyes and thinks to himself he has got to make this happen sooner than later.

"I would like that very much," Castiel says, his voice slightly rougher than normal.

Dean chuckles darkly. "I bet you would," he says, giving Cas's hand a pat on the table. "Dunno why I didn't think of it sooner. Me and sugar. Pretty much your two favourite things on the planet."

"You forgot blow jobs," Castiel whispers and Dean throws his head back and laughs loud enough that several heads turn their way. Castiel is proud of himself for making Dean laugh so hard, and doesn't even mind the looks they're getting from people.

Dean tips back his cup finishing his coffee, throws some bills on the table and says, "Let's go, angel."


	20. Chapter 20

Dean doesn't know if it's because he can fully relax now or what the reason is, but he finds the fair more welcoming today somehow. The air is crisp, but the sun is shining, and he's thankful for the great weather. Rain really would've fucked up his plans, he realizes. They start off by riding many of the same rides they rode yesterday. Now that they know what to expect from some of them, there is less nervousness and more excitement. They get braver as the day goes on, and try some of the biggest rides. They go on a ride shaped like a giant boat and it swings them back and fourth, little by little, until it eventually goes all the way upside down. Dean grips Cas's arm so hard he'll probably leave bruises, but by the third time it flips them upside down, he relaxes his grip and starts to get used to it. Then he lets out a whoop of pleasure and really starts to enjoy himself.

After the success of the boat, they try the free fall ride. As much as Dean may like to tell himself he isn't afraid of heights, the idea of being that high in the air is enough to cause a sweat to break out on his forehead. Cas notices as they stand in line (of course he notices) and assures Dean that they don't have to do this ride if he doesn't want to, but Dean isn't about to back down now. If he can take on the Devil himself, he's gotta be able to drop to the ground from hundreds of feet in the air and not puke his guts out all over his boyfriend. Right?

He's sweating even more as he takes his seat on the ride, and he hates the way his body is being such a fucking traitor right now, because he's pretty sure his hands are shaking. He braces them on the arm rest on either side of him and tries not to look like he's about to piss himself.

"Dean, you're extremely pale. Are you sure you're alright? I can pretend to be scared so nobody has to know it was you if you want," Castiel offers.

"I'm fine," Dean insists, which both of them know by now is almost never true when Dean says it like that.

"We both know you're not," Castiel says quietly. "You're sweating, your hands are shaking, and you're as white as ghost. There is no shame in not wanting to do this ride," Castiel says. The ride operator starts coming by to check their safety harnesses and Castiel says, "Say the word and I'll get us off of here."

Since Cas has brought it up, Dean wipes the sweat from his head with the back of his hand and turns to face Cas. "I'm scared outta my damn mind, okay?" He admits. "But I'm doing this."

"You don't have to," Castiel tells him.

"I want to. I want to do this with you. Just... support me," he says lamely.

Castiel searches Dean's face for something, and must find it, because he nods and doesn't say another word about it. Soon they are both strapped in, and Castiel moves his hand to place it on Dean's knee in a gesture of solidarity.

The ride operator moves over to the controls for the ride and shouts out, "Here we go. Speak now or forever hold your peace," he says. Nobody says anything so he flicks the button, and then they start rising slowly into the air.

"This part isn't so bad," Dean says to Cas, and he's relieved his voice comes out as even as it does.

"I love being up high like this," Castiel tells him. "If I decide to remove my grace, I believe doing things like this will help me keep my sanity."

"Sounds like you've pretty much decided," Dean says, and he's distracted by the thought enough that he isn't only thinking about how high he is in the air. Castiel doesn't say anything, and Dean takes the silence as at least a partial admission. He doesn't let himself think about it too much, and is brought back to the reality of the ride when they reach the top and the ride comes to a stop. He can see a lot from up here, and if it wasn't for the fact that he's trying his hardest not to throw up, he might be able to appreciate the view the way it seems Cas is beside him.

Cas flips his hand over so it's palm up, and Dean takes the cue to hold on to it. Dean starts to say, "How long do you think they'll -" when the ride drops. It's about half way down when his stomach catches up with his mind and he realizes they're falling. He opens his mouth to let out a scream of fear, but thankfully, no sound comes out. He doesn't feel like he's going to throw up anymore, but falling still isn't a pleasant feeling. They almost bounce when they come to a stop, and finally, Dean feels like he's safe again.

They wait for the guy to come undo their harness, and when Dean thinks to check in on Cas, Cas has a huge fucking smile on his face and his hair is blown everywhere by the wind. "You enjoyed that?" Dean asks.

"Yes! It was exhilarating! You didn't?" He checks.

"Fuck no. But I didn't puke, so I'm still calling it a win," Dean says.

Castiel frowns and says, "That would have been unpleasant."

Dean is amused by the look of disgust on Cas's face. "Don't do well with puke?" He asks.

"I have never been exposed to it, but it sounds disgusting."

"Good thing I don't have any hair for you to hold back for me when I'm sick," Dean jokes.

"I don't understand," Castiel replies.

"In relationships. If the chick is sick, it's the guy's job to hold her hair out of the way so she doesn't puke all over it," Dean explains.

"Oh," Castiel says. He's clearly thinking about this. The man undoes their harnesses and Castiel finally says, "I've often thought that out of the two of us, you are most like the female in a traditional relationship."

Dean's jaw drops and the ride operator can't hide his snicker. Dean glares at him and he holds his hands up in a surrendering gesture. "You would'a laughed if you were me, too," he says and Dean can't argue with that so he doesn't say anything else.

They begin to walk away and Dean says, "I can't believe you think I'm the chick."

"Obviously neither of us are actually female, Dean. I didn't mean to insult your manliness," he says with a roll of his eyes. "I was merely commenting that when people think of traditional roles in a marriage, they expect the female to do the majority of the cooking and the cleaning. Which you do."

"Your age is showing, Cas. That isn't how it is anymore. Besides, if we're gonna go with that then there's some guy shit I do, too. I always initiate sex," he says, "I pay for everything, I order our food, I open the car door for you, and I'm the handy one out of the two of us."

"All true," Castiel agrees. "I suppose you're a good mix of both."

"Tough and manly mostly, but a little feminine."

"Especially when you consider the panties you like so much," Castiel teases.

Dean smiles shyly and says, "Kinda thought you forgot about that."

Castiel shakes his head. "On the contrary, I've thought of them many times. You were obviously uncomfortable the first time we talked about it, so I was just letting you take your time. But make no mistake, I'd very much like to see you wearing them." Dean feels the colour come back to his face, and Castiel adds, "I might even initiate sex for once."

Dean chuckles and says, "This is the weirdest conversation I've ever had."

Castiel laughs softly at that and says, "Only because you're used to talking about angels, the apocalypse, and supernatural creatures. Otherwise, all of those conversations would be weird, too."

"That's true," Dean agrees. "What do you say we check out the tents and see if we can find something to bring back for everybody?"

"I'd like that," Castiel says.

The first tent they stop at is selling handmade jewelry. Castiel says he'd like to get something for Claire, so Dean hands him his wallet and tells him to go nuts. Dean isn't too interested, so he pulls out his phone to check the text waiting from Sam, and then opens the browser to look at the hotel Sam chose for them. A little while later, Cas comes over to show him a necklace he chose for Claire. It's a thick black cord with a pair of angel wigs and a shiny blue gemstone dangling on it.

"Do you think she'll like it? Or is it too cheesy?" Castiel asks.

"I think she'll love it because it's from you, Cas," Dean tells him, and Cas smiles.

They start walking again and Dean stops to look at a tent selling t-shirts. The shirts have funny sayings on them, and Dean lights up when he finds a shirt with a picture of a cartoon moose on it with "I am not amoosed" written underneath. "We _have_ to get this for Sam!" Castiel is swept up in Dean's enthusiasm and agrees. Before they pay Cas points out a tank top that says, "Small but mighty" on it and suggests that maybe Donna would appreciate it. Dean never would have thought to get her anything, so he shrugs and grabs one off of the hanger.

Dean says he wants to buy more of the jam from yesterday and actually eat it this time, so they stop there and buy more jam than they have ever bought before. When they get to the end of the row of tents, they're both surprised to see a petting zoo. "I didn't know this was here!" Dean says. "Usually you can smell them from a mile away."

"Can we go in?" Castiel asks.

"We can do one better than that," Dean says. He walks over to a little booth selling ice cream cones full of animal food and buys one for each of them. Castiel's face lights up when he realizes what it's for and asks to confirm.

"We can feed the animals?"

"Yep," Dean says. "They can get pretty riled up though, so be careful nothing steals it from you."

Cas, as Cas does, takes him extremely seriously and covers the cone with his hand and cradles it to his chest. They are both surrounded by little goats quickly and Dean watches Cas as he seems to assess each animal. "Feed 'em like this," Dean says. He pours some food on to the palm of his hand and keeps his thumb tucked tight and his palm flat. "Make sure you tuck in your thumb or they might take a bite," Dean tells him.

"They bite!?" Castiel asks in alarm.

"Not intentionally. We're surrounded by kids, Cas. They wouldn't let them in here if it wasn't safe," Dean tells him.

"Right," Castiel replies.

"I'm surprised this is here. Lot of places won't have petting zoos anymore, because some people think it's not fair to the animals and that they're not treated well enough," Dean explains.

"Well, I can't speak to them without using my grace, but I can assure you these particular animals are radiating happiness," Castiel tells him.

"You can tell that just by looking at them?" Dean asks and stops to feed a cow while he keeps listening.

"Yes, but it's not an angel thing so much as something I have learned from observing my Father's creations for thousands of years. It's their body language," Castiel tells him. "An angel thing I _can_ tell though, is that they are in good health. These animals are well taken care of." He smiles at a particularly excited goat and says, "And this guy has an appetite like you do," he jokes and gives him a little bit extra food. A large goat comes up behind him as he's bent over, and nudges him roughly. Castiel loses his balance with a yelp of surprise, and when he pitches forward to fall on one knee, the cone full of food spills on to the ground in front of him. Before he can do anything about it, he's suddenly surrounded by many excited goats, and he couldn't hold in the laughter that slips out of him for anything as he watches them try to trample over each other to get more food.

Dean was just finishing feeding his cone, food and all, to the cow when he heard the sound come from Cas. He turns to see the man he loves on the ground, surrounded by goats of all things, laughing his angelic head off and can't help but laugh with him. If there was ever a Kodak moment, this is it, and Dean takes out his phone to take some pictures. Leave it to Cas to cause a scene in a petting zoo, and leave it to him to start feeling sappy about what should be a hilarious moment. But man. Cas looks so happy, so care-free, and so silly he can't help but feel his heart skip a beat or two. Dean assumes the goats have gotten their fill when they start to scatter and Cas makes his way back to his feet.

"I swear these things only happen to me," Castiel says to him with a smile.

"You didn't seem to mind too much," Dean replies and Cas smiles.

"It was funny," he says.

Dean can't help it. He takes another step towards him and pulls Cas towards him by the back of his neck to plant a hard but quick kiss on his lips. "It's getting late. Let's go wash up, and find something to eat," he suggests when he breaks away, and Cas nods his agreement.

A little while later, after Castiel has eaten as much of the foot-long corn dog he possibly can, he’s still eyeing Dean and the giant drumstick he’s eating curiously.

For the third time, Dean insists, “It’s just chicken!” around a mouthful of food.

“You look like a cave man,” Castiel tells him and he has no idea how Dean manages to laugh with so much food in his mouth.

“Man eat meat,” Dean says in what Castiel can only assume is his imitation of a cave man.

Judging by the look on Dean’s face, he thinks he’s very funny, so Castiel gives him an amused smile. Finally, Dean’s finished his dinner and after wiping his hands and face on a napkin he says, “Okay angel, time to win you a stuffed animal. Which one do you want?”

Castiel spends some time walking past the different games and finally points out a giant stuffed dog. “That one,” he says to Dean.

Dean looks at it and says, “I would’ve pegged you for a cat person.”

“You wouldn’t be wrong. I do like cats. But I like dogs, also. Actually, I just like animals in general.”

Dean doesn’t know if it’s a coincidence that the game Cas picked for him to win the dog from is none other than the balloon popping game he said he wanted to try on their first day there, but he goes with it anyway. He gives the guy in charge ten dollars, and gets six darts. He can practically feel the excitement coming from Cas, so he hands him three darts and keeps three for himself.

Before he throws he asks the guy, “How many balloons do I need to pop to win that dog up there?”

“Usually it’s twelve, but since it’s almost closing time, I’ll let you have it for ten,” he says.

Dean turns towards Cas and jokes, “Let’s see if my athletic ability has improved any since ninth grade.” The board is pretty full of balloons, so he lets his first dart fly and is happy when he does burst a balloon… even if it isn’t the one he was originally aiming for. His next two shots miss, and he buys six more darts. He throws three more, hits two out of three, and then remembers that Cas hasn’t thrown his. “Give it a shot,” he says to Cas.

Castiel frowns because he feels like he might be cheating. It’s all about math. He can easily calculate the angle from where he needs to release the dart, the amount of force he needs to throw it, and his vision is perfect, so it feels like the odds are tipped unfairly in his favour. But he doesn’t want to point that out, so reluctantly, he throws his first dart and hits the balloon. He shoots Dean a small smile and Dean gives him a thumbs up. He throws his second dart, and pops a second balloon. The same thing happens with his third.

“Looks like you’re a natural,” the young man says to him.

Castiel allows himself to smile fully now, knowing that he doesn’t suspect anything. Dean passes him another two darts, and then Dean throws his last one and hits another balloon. They’re up to seven balloons popped now, and Cas’s darts are the only two they have left. “You go ahead,” Dean says to Cas and buys three more. Castiel shrugs and throws his last two darts, bursting two balloons. “Guess we know who the athletic one is,” Dean says with a laugh and Cas smiles shyly.

But even after admitting that Castiel is a better shot than he is, Dean doesn’t give him any of the last three darts he bought. Castiel understands that Dean wants to win this for him, so he doesn’t say anything. Because they have already popped so many balloons, it’s harder to hit them, and Castiel isn’t surprised when none of Dean’s three darts hit a balloon.

He buys three more with an awkward smile, and the guy says, “Maybe you should let him throw them.”

“He can do it,” Castiel speaks up, and places his hand on the small of Dean’s back in a gesture of support. Castiel didn’t mean for the gesture to be intimate at all, but he can see by the look of realization on the young man’s face that he’s given them away. Castiel sees Dean blush slightly, and takes his hand away immediately. Dean gives him a look of confusion and Castiel says, “Didn’t want to ruin your concentration.”

Dean smiles and when he throws the first dart, he hits a balloon and both Castiel and the young guy in charge make happy sounds in celebration. Dean passes Castiel the last two darts, and Castiel smiles cockily before he throws them and hits the last two darts. “There,” Dean says, “now we hit all 12 anyway.”

The young guy chuckles as he gets the big dog off of the ceiling of the game with a hook, and hands it to Dean. “Congratulations,” he says.

“Thanks,” Dean says back to him, and then turns to hand the dog to Cas.

Castiel lets his excitement show and throws his arms around the big stuffed dog and squeezes it happily. He turns it to look it in the face and says, “I love it! Thank you, Dean.”

“Anything for you, angel.”

“I hope you know this is sleeping in our bed with us tonight,” Castiel jokes.

Dean laughs. “It can stay in our room but I draw the line at sleeping with a stuffed animal.”

“I was only teasing,” Castiel tells him.

Dean didn’t notice how late it was getting, and is surprised when the lights start to flicker on around him. He feels his stomach flip with nerves, and says, “I need to take a leak. Do you mind putting this stuff back in the car so we can do a few more rides before it’s time to go?”

“Not at all,” Castiel says, and takes their bags and the keys, and makes his way to the car.

Instead of using the bathroom like he said, Dean makes a bee-line for the Ferris wheel. He tells the ride operator his plan, and though it takes a $50 bill, he makes a deal with him to make sure they get on the ride when the fireworks go and that it stops at the top for them so Dean can get down on one knee. “I get a ten-minute warning, so keep an eye on me and I’ll give you the signal to get in the line,” the guy tells him. “Should be about a half hour or so from now.”

“Thanks man, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this.”

The man gives him a nod and then Dean goes to find Cas. He sees him walking back from the car, and says, “I heard we got about a half hour before the fireworks start. Probably enough time for one more ride. Your pick.”

Castiel answers immediately, “I’d like to do the swings again.”

Dean reaches for Cas’s hand, and they walk towards the swings. Music is really blaring now that it’s late enough for most of the smaller kids to be in bed, and it makes it hard for them to talk. They stand together still holding hands, and when it’s their turn, they squeeze into a double seat again. Dean has already taken quite a few pictures today, but he feels like they need another one together. While he waits for the guy to come check their swing, he is able to pull out his phone after some wiggling. He turns the camera so that it’s facing them and they both tilt their heads together and smile. Without warning, Cas leans over to plant a kiss on Dean’s cheek and Dean keeps his finger on the button, getting a burst of photos. He thinks, _what the hell_ , and turns to face Cas to kiss him on the lips, and snaps a few more pictures while they’re kissing.

“I’m officially a teenager again,” Dean makes fun of himself as he puts his phone away again.

Castiel leans in to talk into Dean’s ear over the music. “I don’t know what exactly is adolescent about taking photographs, but regardless, I’m pleased to have them. This has been one of the best days of my existence,” Castiel confesses. “I’m happy to have a reminder to look back on.”

Dean smiles at the man that he loves. “I’m having a really fun day, too,” he says. “I like hanging out with you.”

The ride starts up, and finally they’re in the air again. They both enjoy it as much as they did earlier, and when the ride comes to a stop, Dean looks over at the Ferris wheel and meets the eye of the guy running it. He gestures Dean over, so he nods his understanding, and that’s where they go next.

They get in line, and Dean overhears two girls in front of them complaining about being out of tickets. He still has a handful left, so he counts out what he and Cas need for this ride, and then says, “Hey guys?” They turn to him with guarded expressions and Dean says, “We’re heading home after this ride. You want these?”

The girls exchange a look and one of them says, “Thanks, but we don’t have any money left.”

“I don’t want your money. We’re not gonna use them. You can just have 'em.”

“Really?” she asks.

“What’s the catch?” the other girl says while eyeing him warily.

“Geeze,” Dean says grumpily. “There’s no catch, okay? Can’t a guy just do something nice?”

The first girl reaches for the tickets and the second girl shrugs her shoulder. “Usually when old men offer girls something, they want something in return,” she tells him.

Dean gets the meaning and he makes a face of disgust. “How old are you? Twelve? That’s gross. And this is my boyfriend,” he gestures at Cas.

“We’re seventeen,” the girl says back. “But, yah. Still gross.”

“You two make a cute couple,” the other girl says, and then says, “Thank you for the tickets,” before she turns away with a slightly red face.

Dean looks at Cas and says, “We are pretty cute.”

“That was a very kind thing to do,” Castiel tells him.

“I have my moments, I guess,” Dean says lightly.

Finally, it’s their turn to get on the ride and the guy operating the ride mouths _good luck_ when Cas turns his back, and that’s what makes his stomach start to twist with nerves. They sit across from each other and Dean gives Cas a tight smile as it starts moving around to let everybody on. They’re almost at the bottom again when the first fire work lights up the sky. Just like last time, Castiel’s smile spreads across his face, and the wind whips through his hair, and Dean feels his stomach settle some. The ride goes all the way around twice before Dean starts talking. He’s been planning this in his head in every spare moment he’s had for days, and he thinks he knows what he wants to say.

“I love you,” Dean says.

Castiel tears his eyes from the sky to smile at his boyfriend. “I love you, too, Dean,” he says happily before he lets his eyes go back to the sky.

“I’ve had to make a lot of hard decisions in my life,” Dean begins, “Some of them worked out okay, and some came back to kick me in the ass. Deciding to give us a chance is hands-down the best decision I’ve made so far.”

Castiel senses that there is something Dean needs to get out here, so while he’s itching to agree with him, he just smiles and allows him to keep talking.

“I’ve thought a lot about how to say this, and if words exist to describe the way I feel when I’m in your arms, then I dunno what they are. You make me feel safe, Cas. You make me feel things I didn’t think I would ever feel. You make me want things I didn’t think I’d ever want. You make me see myself in a new way, a better way, than I ever have. Shit Cas, you make me feel _happy_. For the first time in my whole life, I’m happy, and it’s all because of you.”

He takes a deep breath and as they go around once more, the ride guy gives him a nod and he knows this is it. The ride comes to a stop and Dean puts his hand inside his coat and pulls out the ring box. With fireworks exploding around them, he gets down on one knee in front of Cas, the man he loves, and offers him his heart. He looks Cas in the face and he can see the exact moment Cas understands what’s going on, and both of their eyes fill with tears at the same time. “I want to spend the rest of my life making you as happy as you make me.” The first tear drops and runs down his face. “I know I’m gonna screw up, and I won’t always be the easiest person to love. But I know I will never stop loving you, and if you’ll let me, I’ll tell you how much every single day.” He opens the ring box and clears his throat before he finishes, “I love you, Castiel, Angel of the Lord,” he says with a big smile, “and I’d be luckiest son of a bitch alive if you’d marry me.”

It only takes a second before Cas answers him, but in that second, Dean recognizes just how full his heart is. How scared he is that he’s going to be turned down. How he’s totally and completely laid his heart out for his angel, and how easily it would be for him to shatter it into a million pieces. He knows he’d never recover from the rejection, but even with all of these thoughts flying through his head, the dominating emotion he feels is hope.

Castiel drops to his knees in front of Dean with tears streaming openly down his cheeks and says, “Yes! Yes, Dean, of course I’ll marry you,” before he throws his arms around him. They hear applause break out around them and they both laugh. Dean can feel his own tears making their way down his face, but there isn’t a single part of him that cares about that right now. Cas said yes. _Cas said yes!_ He feels the breath he had unconsciously been holding come out in a rush and buries his face in Cas’s neck. They finally break apart and Dean makes room beside Cas now to sit with him. They both wipe the tears from their faces, and then Dean pulls the ring out from the spot in the box.

Dean turns the ring over so Cas can see the engraving on the inside, and fresh tears spill from Cas’s eyes when he reads it. “Always for me, too, Dean,” he says and leans in to kiss him. This kiss is different somehow than any other kiss they've shared. It's more. Dean's breath hitches in his throat and his hands come up to sink into Cas's hair. It's a perfect kiss to match the perfect moment.

Castiel is overwhelmed with all the thought and planning that went into this. The ring is beautiful, the inscription is in Enochian of all things with the promise of _always_ that they frequently make to one another, and above all, knowing that Dean came to this decision on his own and that this is what he wants is almost more than he can handle all at once.

Dean takes Cas’s left hand and slides the ring on to his finger. It’s a little loose, but at least it goes on, and neither of them have ever smiled wider. “I concede the bet, Dean,” Castiel chokes out. “I’d like to use my grace to make this ring fit properly.”

“I’d like that, too,” Dean says. “And we’ll call it a draw. No one loses.”

The ring glows blue for a second and then it fits. “Perfect,” Castiel says. “Actually, there is some humour in the timing of you asking me today,” Castiel tells him.

Dean’s confused. “Really? How come?”

Castiel puts his hand in his pocket and brings out a small pouch. “I bought this for you at the jewelry tent earlier,” he says and passes it to Dean.

Dean opens the pouch and lets what’s inside drop into his palm. It’s a ring. He’s never seen anything like it. It’s brown, and has a pattern etched into it. It’s obviously nice but not girly, and he loves it instantly.

[](http://s3.photobucket.com/user/tricia_16_/media/il_570xN.1098916576_hl69_zps50bghbxj.jpg.html)

Dean brings his eyes up to meet Cas’s and says, “What did you buy this for?”

“I was going to ask you,” Castiel says with a big smile, and Dean shakes his head in amusement at his angel.

“Glad I beat you to it,” Dean says. “I love it, Cas.”  
  
“I know it isn’t expensive or anything special, but it made me think of you. I wasn’t sure how much you’d wear it anyway. I’ve never seen you wear a ring before.”

“It’s from you. I’ll wear it every day,” he says.

They finally reach the bottom of the Ferris wheel, and they’re greeted with a big smile from the man who was running the ride. “Congratulations!” he says warmly.

“Thanks, man,” Dean says with a dazzling smile.

Dean’s arm is around Cas and it rests low on his hips. He’s so happy he doesn’t think he’ll ever stop touching him. They’ve barely taken a step off of the stairs when Dean feels a tap on his shoulder. He whirls to see the two girls who were in front of them in the lineup. “I was taking a video of the fireworks when I saw you get down on one knee. So, I guess I kinda got a video of you proposing. Do you want me to send it to you?”

“That’s lucky,” Dean says. She uses Airdrop to send it to him, and he thanks her profusely. Once they’ve walked away, Dean brings both hands to rest on Cas’s hips and pulls him in a little bit closer. “Anything else you wanna do before we go to our hotel?”

Castiel shakes his head. With his eyes still shining with happiness, he replies, “Everything I want to do right now _requires_ us to be inside our hotel room.”

Dean smiles at him and kisses him once softly before he takes his hand and leads the way the way to the car. Both of them exchange smiles at the feeling of Cas’s ring against their fingers, and if they walk a little faster than they normally would, neither of them comments on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the proposal and the engraving on the ring was everything you hoped it would be! Thank you for staying with me through this, and as always, I appreciate your comments so much!!! <3


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! You get a second new chapter today!!! I was so into the story when it ended I couldn't stop writing. 
> 
> Here comes the engagement sex! (You all knew it was coming!)

Dean uses Google Maps to get to their new hotel, and he lets out a low whistle when he sees the multistory building spread out in front of them. He doesn’t think he’s ever spent a night in somewhere this fancy. He sees signs that say “free valet parking” and is impressed when he pulls up to the front of the hotel. A bell boy goes to get their bags out of the trunk but Dean shuts him down quickly and Castiel grabs them while Dean distracts him by threatening legal action if there’s so much as a scratch on his car when he gets it back.

They walk hand in hand through the hotel doors into a very fancy lobby. They’re greeted warmly by a young woman behind the guest services desk. “Good evening,” she says to them. “Can I help you check in?”

“Yes, please,” Castiel answers.

“The reservation should be under Tyler,” Dean tells her.

Her face breaks into a wide grin and she says, “I heard you’re celebrating. Congratulations,” she says.

“Thank you,” Dean says and Castiel leans in closer to Dean’s side.

“We’ve upgraded you to a suite on us to show our appreciation for you choosing to celebrate with us. You’ve got a jacuzzi tub, upgraded complimentary amenities, extended pool hours, an exclusive elevator, and an extra little surprise waiting for you in your room when you get there,” she tells them.

Dean can barely pick his jaw up off of the ground so Castiel says, “Thank you very much. That’s extremely kind of you.”

She smiles at them again and says, “Checkout’s at 1:00, and please call down if you need anything. Elevator is just down the hall to your left. Swipe your card and you’ll get access,” she tells them. “Enjoy your stay, and congratulations again on your engagement.”

“That was unexpected,” Castiel says as they walk towards the elevator. “How did she know?”

“Sam booked the room. He knew I was going to ask you, so he must’ve told her. Would’ve really sucked if you had said no,” he jokes.

“Even Sam knew there was no possible way I would say no to you,” Castiel beams. Dean swipes their room key and the elevator opens for them.

“Fancy shmancy,” Dean says. He hits the floor key and when the elevator doors close, their bags hit the floor and Cas pounces on him. He has Dean’s back pressed up against the wall of the elevator, their bodies flush, and he licks into Dean’s mouth eagerly. Dean tilts his head to give Cas more access, and groans when Cas’s hand slips down to cup his ass. They pull apart reluctantly when the elevator chimes to let them know they’ve reached their floor, and Cas picks up their bags and waits for Dean to lead the way as if nothing ever happened. Dean clears his throat and says, “We have to call Sam. Before… ya know,” he says and Castiel grins.

“We can do that,” he says agreeably.

Their room is the last one at the end of the hallway, and neither of them can believe their eyes when they walk through the door. It’s gorgeous. The king-sized bed taunts them in the middle of the room, and Dean has to will his erection away. Not right now. Don’t think about it. Think about Sam.

“Let’s call Sam before I forget his name,” Dean says. They don’t usually do this, but for the special occasion, he FaceTimes his brother.

Sam picks up almost immediately, and he says, “Well!?”

Castiel goes to raise his hand in answer, but Dean grabs his wrist and says, “Go get Claire, too.”

“Aw come on,” Sam whines, but Cas and Dean can see him and Donna running (yes, running) through the bunker to find Claire in the living room. “I got Cas and Dean on Facetime,” he tells her. A second later they can see the three of them squeeze in front of Sam’s phone. “So!?” Sam says excitedly.

Dean smiles and releases Cas’s wrist, and Castiel holds his hand up to show them the ring on his finger. The three of them erupt into applause and shouts of congratulations. There’s a few minutes where everybody is just talking over everybody and it’s one of the happiest moments of Dean’s entire life.

“How did you do it?” Donna asks. “I know it’s going to be the most romantic thing ever.”

Dean shrugs but Castiel answers before he could. “It was. I saw fireworks for the first time on Friday, and enjoyed them very much. Dean must have noticed, because he made sure we could stay until the end of the day today so I could see them again. He made an arrangement with the man who was in charge of the ferris wheel ride, and made sure we could be on it when they started again tonight. He told me how much he loved me, and how happy I make him, and with fireworks exploding all around us, he got down on one knee and said he’d be the luckiest man alive if I would marry him.”

All three of them launch into a chorus of “Awww” at exactly the same time, and if Dean didn’t know any better, he would've thought it was rehearsed. Actually, knowing how geeky his brother is, it could have been. 

“Funny thing is, this kid on the cart next to us was filming the fireworks and happened to catch the whole thing on camera. You can’t hear what I’m saying, but it’s a good view of everything. I can send it to you if ya want,” Dean offers and again, everybody talks at once and they’re all saying yes. “Okay, okay,” Dean says with a smile.

“You guys are seriously relationship goals,” Claire says and Dean feels a pang of regret. 

“Claire, I feel kind bad. I should’ve asked your permission before I asked him,” Dean says.

Claire’s obviously surprised by the sentiment but recovers quickly enough to say, “That’s okay. I would’ve said yes anyway. You make him happy.”

“He does,” Castiel replies with hearts in his eyes. “Thank you for booking this room for us Sam. It’s a beautiful hotel.”

“If anybody deserves something special, it’s you two,” Sam says earnestly. “I couldn’t be happier for you guys.”

“Thanks, Sammy,” Dean says.

“I didn’t even think you’d call,” he says, “Thought you’d be too busy alienating whoever’s in the room next to yours.”

“Ew,” Claire says as she makes a face of disgust.

“That’s the best idea you’ve ever had,” Dean says.

“We’ll see you tomorrow,” Castiel says eagerly and everybody laughs at him.

“See you tomorrow guys. Have fun!” Donna adds.

“We love you guys,” Dean says, and then hangs up before he has to see any of their faces. He hardly ever says that he loves anybody, and even though he’s happy to have said it, he doesn’t want to see their surprised faces or deal with hearing it back right now.

They're sitting on the end of the bed, and when Dean turns to put his phone on the end table next to him, he sees a bottle of champagne and a plate of chocolate dipped strawberries sitting there. He turns to tell Cas, but the words die in his mouth when he sees the way Cas is looking at him. 

"I want to make love with you, Dean," Castiel says quietly. Dean nods his head, and then Castiel moves in to meet Dean's lips. Castiel lets his hand come up to brush over Dean's cheekbone, and after a few minutes of kissing, he moves to follow his hand with his mouth, kissing soft, feather-light kisses along the side of Dean's face. He comes back across to kiss the other side, and gives it the same treatment. He makes his way down to Dean's throat and then to his neck, and he stops to suck a mark underneath the collar of his shirt. He wants everybody to know Dean is his now. He feels Dean's fingers working his jacket off his body, and drops his hands to let him get it all the way off. As soon as they're free again, he pushes Dean's coat off of his arms, and lets his hands roam across Dean's broad shoulders. He groans in appreciation when he feels the tight muscles under his hands, and lets out a huff of annoyance when Dean breaks away from his mouth to stand and strip off his shirt. 

Castiel quirks a brow but starts pulling off his own shirt as he shimmies back on to the middle of the mattress. Dean unbuckles pants and drops them, so Cas does the same. He gets the opportunity to take in Dean standing in front of him, naked except for his ring, and feels desire course through his body and thicken his erection even more. He watches as Dean finds the lube in his duffle bag and tosses it on to the bed beside him. "You look so good," Castiel says. "I love looking at you." 

Dean obviously checks out Castiel's hard length rested heavily on his stomach and says, "I can see that," before he crawls his way over to him. 

Dean has a need for Cas right now unlike anything else he's ever felt. Half of him wants to take Cas hard and fast, but the other part of him wants to make this special and take it slow. He goes for slow. He nuzzles against Cas's ankle with his nose, and plants a soft, open mouthed kiss just above the bone. He runs his hands up the outside of Cas's legs and kisses his way up the inside. He lifts Cas's legs in the air and kisses down the back of one leg, and up the other. His hands move higher to appreciate the muscular thighs he loves so much, and he nips and sucks his way up to where Cas's balls lay heavy between his legs. He rolls them in his hand as his mouth continues the trail around Cas's erection. He spends a lot of time on the hip bones he loves, and sucks marks on to both of them. 

Cas's hand comes up to Dean's head, and though he knows it isn't what Cas wants, Dean pulls away and makes eye contact with Cas as he kisses his palm. Cas's eyes flood with emotion and a radiant smile lights up his face. He kisses the tip of each finger, kisses the place his ring sits on his ring finger, and finally sucks one finger into his mouth. Cas's jaw opens on a pant, and Dean works his finger over with his wet tongue, and then sucks with everything he has and sees Cas close his eyes to absorb the pleasure. 

He grips Cas's wrist and kisses the pulse there. He braces himself with one hand over Cas's body, careful not to let their erections knock together just yet, and kisses his way up his arm, over the hard muscle of his shoulder, and back to his neck.  


Cas is making the softest breathy sounds under him, and he squirms with need and pleasure. Dean loves every sound that comes from his lips. Finally he kisses Cas's mouth again, and lets his body drop slowly until the two of them are pressed together. The exquisite feeling of skin on skin contact and their cocks pressed up along one another has Cas arching his back off of the bed as he brings their kiss deeper and dirtier. Cas's hips are thrusting up into Dean's and Dean allows himself the pleasure of rutting against his fiancé as he continues their kiss. 

Cas's hands are everywhere. They run up and down Dean's arms and Dean feels Cas stop to squeeze the bicep that's bulging from holding his upper body weight off of Cas enough to kiss him. Cas sucks on Dean's tongue, and his hands move to Dean's shoulders. When Dean redistributes his weight and the muscles under Cas's hands ripple and flex, Cas moans into his mouth and Dean feels sexy, strong, and powerful knowing the way his body is turning Cas on. 

He wants to be inside of Cas so badly, he finally gives in and reaches for the lube beside them. He lifts off of Cas and sits back on to his knees to flip the top open, and squirts some lube on to his fingers. He runs his hands together to warm it up, and then comes back down closer to Cas. He traces his finger down the cleft of his ass and Cas starts moaning already. Dean catches his eyes and smiles. He wants this at least as bad as Cas does, he's sure. He circles Cas's hole a few times before he presses one finger past the muscle and into the tight opening. Neither of them are surprised when another moan comes from Cas's mouth. He pushes his finger in and out, opening Cas up as quickly and thoroughly as he can. When he feels like he has enough room, he adds his second finger and begins scissoring them open. Every now and then when he pushes into him, he crooks his fingers to brush lightly over Cas's prostate. Cas starts pushing down, panting, and fucking himself on to Dean's fingers. Dean adds his third finger, and thrusts them in and out of Cas faster now, and the anticipation he feels has him so hard he's throbbing. 

He thrusts against the bedsheets a few times just to take some of the pressure off, and he then he hears Cas. "I'm ready. Please, Dean." Castiel swallows and takes a deep breath to steady himself and says, "Make love to me."

Dean says Cas's name on a groan and sits up to get more lube. He spreads it on to himself and bites down on his bottom lip at the incredible feeling of wet friction. Once he's ready, he leans back down to lay across Cas's body. He presses their foreheads together as he feels the head of his cock nudge against Cas's ass. He kisses him slowly, as if he isn't dying to thrust inside of him, and puts every ounce of love he has into it. 

Cas's breath catches and Dean immediately knows why, as he feels a tingling under his hands. "Please, Dean," Cas begs, and this time he isn't begging for sex, but for grace. Dean concentrates on that spot inside of him, and opens it up. He feels his grace rush to the surface of his skin, and then he feels the always perfect sensation of his soul and Cas's grace coming together. As usual, it isn't sexual, but it's so intense that it causes Dean to finally give in, and he lines himself up against his angel's ass. He pushes past the tight ring of muscle, sinks into Cas easily on the first thrust, and holds still while he waits for Cas to adjust. 

He lets his lips roam over Cas's chest as he waits, and feels the grace buzzing beneath his lips. He feels whole and complete in a way he hasn't since they did this last, and the intimacy is so intense it takes all of his control to keep his hips still.  
He feels Cas roll his hips down into him, and knows that means he can start moving. He pulls out only a little bit, and pushes back in again. He thrusts quickly and shallowly at first, just trying to take some of the edge off. When he doesn't feel quite as desperate anymore, he pulls one of Cas's legs up over his shoulder so he can sink in a little deeper and more easily hit Cas's prostate. He knows he's hit it when Cas arches off of the bed, so he keeps his the angle of his thrusts the same and starts hammering into it. 

"Dean," Cas groans. "Ugh, Dean. I love you, I love you so much, Dean," Cas chants and it fills Dean's heart more every time he hears it. 

"Ohhh, Cas," Dean moans in return. Cas spreads his legs wider and lifts his other leg so that Dean come down closer to him. Dean understands immediately, and their chests rub together. Dean captures Cas's lips in a kiss. It's messy and sloppy but it adds another layer of intimacy and it's perfect. Dean grabs Cas's cock and slicks it up quickly so that it can rub easily between their bodies as they rock together. 

Dean is getting close now, and starts pulling almost all the way out just to slam back into Cas. Cas pushes down to fuck himself further on every stroke, and Dean can feel his orgasm building. 

"I love you, Cas," he pants as he presses his forehead on to Cas's, trying to catch his breath.

"Always," Cas answers immediately. 

Dean hears the word and an image of the engagement ring immediately flashes inside his head as warmth fills his chest. "Always," he whispers. He feels his grace pulsing under his skin, and Cas's starts doing the same, matching beat for beat, pulsing together as one. 

"My love. My heart. My mate," Cas breathes. 

"My fiancé," Dean finishes. He brings Cas's hand up to his lips once more and kisses his ring. He hears Cas inhale sharply and then Cas's release spills between their bodies, and Dean sees his eyes flash with grace. 

Dean feels the surge of their grace, coupled with Cas's muscles clenching around his dick, and he drops his head into Cas's shoulder and bites down on the flesh as he's flung over the edge of one of the most intense orgasms he has ever had.  
He murmurs, "Angel. My angel. My Cas. Oh I love you, Cas," against his skin as he kisses his way back up to Cas's mouth. His hips finally still and he kisses him once more, sweet and slow before he pulls out and allows himself to collapse back into Cas's nook. 

They both wait silently as their grace stills, and retreats back inside of them. Dean feels Cas shiver beneath him and knows he feels the loss of the warmth as sharply as he does. He throws his leg over him, tucking their bodies more closely together, and Cas runs his hand up and down his thigh. 

Dean only allows himself to stay there for another minute before he slips away to get a cloth to clean them both up. As he's wiping Cas down he says, "Before I was distracted with what can only be described as life-changing sex, I was going to tell you there's chocolate dipped strawberries and champagne on my end table."

"I like strawberries and chocolate. I've never had champagne," Castiel says.  


"Me neither. But it's free, and we're celebrating, so I think we should drink the entire bottle."

"I'd like that," Castiel says simply. "Do I have to get dressed again?" He groans and Dean laughs. 

Dean says, "This is a fancy place. I bet..." he opens the closet beside the bed and says, "A-ha!" He pulls two white, impossibly fluffy robes off of hangers and throws one to Cas. "Here you go, angel. This'll keep you warm until round two," he says with a wink. 

As Dean shrugs into his robe and belts it, Cas stands to do the same, and then the two of them try to figure out how to open the champagne bottle. After several tries, it cork finally pops and flies up to hit the ceiling and bounces right back down to hit the top of Cas's head. Both of them laugh so hard they have to clutch at each other to stay standing, and when they finally get their shit back together, Dean pours their champagne into the two flutes waiting for them. 

Castiel holds his glass up and speaks a traditional blessing, "Let us drink to love, which is nothing, unless it's divided by two."

"I'll drink to that," Dean says as he clinks their glasses together, and they both take their first sip of champagne together, with their hearts full of love and their eyes bright with happiness. 


	22. Chapter 22

Dean pours the last of the champagne into their flutes and Cas is already smiling in anticipation when Dean says, "May all of our ups and downs be between the sheets!"

They clink their glasses together enthusiastically, dissolving into giggles after yet another hilarious toast by Dean. After Cas's traditional toast, Dean has taken it upon himself to come up with the funniest toasts he can think of. The mixture of the champagne and the happiness they feel basking in the novelty of their engagement has both of them smiling, giggling, and being downright cheesy together. Whether they're drunk on the bubbles or drunk on each other, the reaction is too similar to be able to tell. Other than Dean getting up frequently to empty his bladder, there hasn't been a moment when the two of them aren't touching.

They continue with the cheesy theme of the night and unabashedly feed each other the chocolate covered strawberries. At first it seems silly and awkward, but Castiel begins to feel aroused again when he sees Dean's mouth wrap around the plump strawberries and he finds himself focusing intently upon Dean's tongue each time it comes out to lick the chocolate off of his lips.

Dean notices, and the next time he's offered a bite, he deliberately swipes his tongue along the tips of Cas's fingers before he bites down into the berry. Cas's eyes meet his in a flash of understanding, and before Dean can see it coming, Cas pushes him back on to the bed. The belt of Dean's robe has come undone and some of the champagne in Cas's flute spills on to his naked chest, and pools in his navel. Dean sucks in a breath as the cold liquid hits his naked skin, but lets it out again as Cas begins licking it up.

Castiel straddles Dean's hips and chases the drops with his tongue, stopping to suck them into his mouth as he catches them. Dean is squirming and laughing underneath him, and while Castiel initially thinks it's with desire, he soon realizes Dean's actually being tickled. He goes for Dean's belly button then, and dips his tongue into the warming champagne. Dean huffs out another laugh as Castiel slurps it up noisily.

Once Castiel has cleaned up all of the champagne he sits back on Dean's thighs. "It tastes even better on you," Castiel says and Dean actually blushes. "And I didn't mean to tickle you," he explains.

"Still felt kinda good," Dean says.

Castiel looks down at Dean's half hard cock and says, "I can see that. I can't wait to try whipped cream."

Dean reaches up towards him and deliberately tips the rest of Cas's champagne on to his body. They both watch as it drips through Dean's pubic hair and between his legs. "Whoops," he says sarcastically. "Can you get that for me, angel?"

"I'd love to," Castiel answers with a grin.

With Castiel very thoroughly licking up the new mess Dean made, it isn't long before they're both fully hard. Castiel follows the drips to Dean's ass, and moans when he's able to appreciate the taste of Dean mixed with the champagne. He notices that with his tongue dipping into Dean, Dean is no longer laughing. Instead, he's panting and making needy little noises. Castiel continues darting his tongue into Dean's perfectly pink centre, and Dean helps him get in further and further by pressing down into his face. He has no idea how long he lingers, he just knows he's tearing Dean apart using just his tongue and they both love it.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck. Your tongue, Cas," Dean pants, his voice low and rough.

"Mmmm," Castiel moans into him and the vibration of his mouth makes Dean's back arch off of the bed.

"I'm gonna come if you keep doing that," Dean warns him.

Castiel hums once more against him, but in a low, disapproving tone this time. He licks back up to Dean's cock and grips the base tightly in his hand. "We can't have that," Castiel says with mock disapproval. "I'm not done with you yet."

Castiel drags his tongue over the slit of Dean's cock and Dean whines. "Cas, _fuck_ , I am embarrassingly close right now."

Castiel doesn't release his hold on Dean, but he does sit up on to his knees. He reaches for the lube that is still on the bed from a few hours ago, and drizzles it on to his fingers. He releases Dean's erection and watches as a drop of precum leaks out of the tip.

Dean knows he's about to be opened up, and closes his eyes in anticipation. He realizes after a few seconds that Cas is really taking his freaking time, and when he opens his eyes to tell him to get the show on the road, he knows his eyes must bulge out of his head. The lube wasn't for him. It was for Cas. Because Cas has reached between his own legs and is quickly opening himself up. Dean can see two fingers buried into Cas's hole and when he sees the look of pleasure on Cas's face he sits up so he can reach Cas's cock. He squeezes it firmly and drags his hand around to spread his precum.

"Dean," Cas moans, and the thought of Cas thinking about him while he fucks himself with his fingers is almost too much for him. He takes the lube and slicks up his cock again, and then he grabs Cas by his hips and drags him closer. Cas comes willingly and removes his fingers to crawl toward Dean.

Dean lines him up so that Cas is hovering over his heavy cock and Cas grabs a hold of it to place it at his opening.

"Wait," Dean says and Castiel flicks his eyes to Dean's with a panicked expression on his face. "Take out your wings, angel."

This has been a fantasy of Dean's since the first time he saw Cas's wings. He wants to see Cas's beautiful wings spread wide while he rides his cock.

Castiel always gives Dean what he wants, so he allows them to manifest, and opens them wide in a show of dominance. His wingspan dwarfs the huge suite they're in, and Castiel feels wild and free as he allows them to puff up to show off a little.

"Gorgeous," Dean pants and Castiel can feel Dean's cock nudging at his hole, begging for entry. He sinks down on to him, eyes closed, and feels Dean's hard length slip inside of him easily. Somehow it always feels deeper this way, and Castiel can't hold back the low sound of pleasure that bursts from his lips.

"You feel so big, Dean. I'm so full," he groans. He lifts up only to sink down again, and when Dean's hands find his hips he allows Dean to move him into the rhythm and angle he wants him in.

"You look amazing, Cas. So fucking hot. Never seen anything so hot in my whole fucking life. Mine, mine, mine," Dean babbles.

"Yours," Castiel promises him. With a slight adjustment of his thrusts, he feels Dean pound into his prostate and rewards his lover with a moan that makes Dean's cock throb inside of him.

Dean only thrusts into Cas a handful more times before Dean knows he's close and pushes himself up into a sitting position. Their chests press together and then so do their lips. Dean's hands finally come up to run across Cas's wings and their lips break apart when they both moan with pleasure.

Dean sinks his hands deeper into the brilliantly black feathers of Cas's wings, and digs in with his fingertips. "Love your wings so much, angel. Love you so much," Dean pants. Cas's hips stutter and his back arches, and Dean lets his nails bite into the hard flesh surrounding his wing bone.

"Nnng, Dean, please," Castiel whines desperately against his lips, eyes wide and needy.

Dean doesn't know what he wants exactly, only that he wants more, so he deepens the kiss and runs his fingers through Cas's wings roughly to find the sensitive nub of his oil gland. He doesn't need any oil right now, but he knows how sensitive the spot is, so he strokes it. Cas swears and his wings draw inward and press against Dean's back.

Dean is overwhelmed with pleasure when the hundreds of impossibly soft feathers brush against his back, and when Cas increases the pace of his bouncing on his cock, Dean can feel his release coiling in his stomach.

He reluctantly drops a hand to fit it between their bodies and just as he wraps his hand around Cas's cock, Cas gasps, throws his head back, and spills all over Dean's hand and between their bodies.

Dean sucks along Cas's exposed throat, and moves his hands back down to his angel's hips to lift and then slam Cas down on top of him. Cas uses the last bit of his energy to help, and after a few more deep, rough thrusts Dean sees white flash behind his eyelids as he comes hard inside of Cas.

Castiel gives Dean a light push and they fall back on to the bed together. Dean hears the rustle of feathers and knows Cas put his wings away again without even opening his eyes. Dean kisses the top of Cas's head and confesses, "I've wanted to see you on top of me like that with your wings out since the first time I saw them. You looked even hotter than I thought you would."

"It pleases me more than it probably should how aroused you are by my wings. I caught myself puffing them up to put them on display for you as if you're another angel I need to impress with my wingspan," he laughs at himself.

"I couldn't possibly be more impressed," Dean praises him. "I know I told you before, but I am seriously gonna miss them if you decide to go human on me."

"I'll miss them, too," Castiel confesses. "I've waited thousands of years to allow somebody to touch my wings the way you have. Regardless of which decision I make, I'm not ready to give it up quite yet."

"Oh, thank God," Dean whispers in relief.

Castiel smiles sadly to himself when he hears how badly Dean wants him to remain an angel. He hides that sad smile when he gets up to get a cloth to clean them both up again. He pauses when he passes the jacuzzi tub.

"Instead of wiping each other down, would you be alright with taking a bath?" Castiel asks Dean.

"Baths aren't really my thing. Kinda girly. But I will if you want to," Dean says.

Castiel does want to, so he twists the taps and lets the water heat up. He sees different packages of bath salts in a basket by the tub and flips through them. He stops on one labeled chocolate, and reads the instructions on the back. He adds it to the water as directed, and then goes to get towels for both of them and lays out their pajamas while the tub fills.

"Don't fill it too high or it'll spill over when we get in," Dean tells him and when Castiel turns back to the tub it has filled much faster than he anticipated, so he turns it off. The temperature is perfect. Hot, but not scalding hot, and he steps into it. The water is silky from the salts, and smells divine. He sinks into it and lays with his head resting on the slope of the tub.

"Are you gonna make room for me, or what?" Dean asks. Castiel sits up so there's room for Dean behind him. Dean climbs in and settles comfortably and then pulls Cas against him. Dean sees the buttons to get the jets going, so presses it, and soon the tub is filled with the pulsing water.

There's a jet positioned right at Dean's lower back, and two more at his shoulders. The pressure is almost like a massage, and though Dean didn't want to have a bath at first, there's not a damn thing that could drag him out of this tub right now. "This is Heaven," Dean says and Cas chuckles at Dean's quick change of heart. Dean realizes he's getting all the perks right now, so he brings his hands up to massage Cas's shoulders. Lisa was into massages, and she made him watch some stupid freaking videos on how to do it properly, so he's not surprised when Cas starts moaning and his body slowly starts turning to jello under his hands.

" _This_ is Heaven," Castiel argues when he drops his head back on to Dean's chest. "Your fingers are magical."

"And all yours," Dean tells him. His fingers brush through Cas's hair lazily as they just enjoy the warmth of the bath. Some time passes when Dean says, "We better actually wash up before the water gets too cold."

Castiel sits up reluctantly and grabs a washcloth from beside the tub. He dips it in the water, and awkwardly turns around to face Dean. Dean sits up to cross his legs to make more room for Cas, and Castiel runs the cloth across Dean's chest. He drops it down further to wipe Dean's soft penis and then Dean takes the cloth, and washes Cas. Castiel gets to his knees so that Dean can wash his come out of Cas's ass, and though they're both touching each other in sexual places, there is nothing sexual about it. It's intimate, and sweet, and loving, and it's a perfect way to end their night.

Dean pulls the plug and they stand to wrap each other in the towels. They dry each other off, slip into their pajamas, and then Castiel gets their bed ready when Dean uses the bathroom and brushes his teeth. Castiel plugs in their phones, and is surprised when he sees how late it is. He is under the covers waiting for Dean when he comes out of the bathroom and turns off all the lights before he climbs in to snuggle into his nook.

Dean sighs happily and Castiel says, "Thank you for a perfect day, Dean."

Dean pops his head up enough to kiss Cas lazily before he snuggles back in and says, "I can't believe we're gonna get married."

"I can't wait to be your husband," Castiel confesses.

Dean doesn't know if he's ever heard better words. "Me neither, angel. I love you."

"I love you, too, Dean." Castiel kisses the top of Dea's head and says, "Sleep well."

Dean makes a happy sound in his throat, and that's the last thing either of them thinks about before they slip into sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the smutty chapter again! This might be the last one though...
> 
> I've got a few more chapters planned out in my head and then I think that's going to be it for this story! Getting close to the end!


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of my kids has a fever, I have to work this weekend (tax season), and my husband works nights (and sleeps all day) soooo I don't know if I'll get anything else written this weekend.
> 
> Hope this chapter gets you through the weekend and that your weekend turns out a lot better than mine is looking right now... lol

Castiel wakes up late the next morning with Dean’s legs tangled with his, and an arm holding him tight against Dean’s chest. He smiles at how Dean is always so affectionate in his sleep. He considers closing his eyes again and going back to sleep, but instead he reaches towards his cell phone to check the time. It’s almost 10:30.

They had better wake up. He rolls towards Dean, wincing slightly at the ache deep between his legs, and kisses him softly on the cheek, and then trails his lips to his temple, and up to his forehead. Dean stirs and tries to snuggle in even closer, and Castiel can’t help but let a quiet chuckle roll out of him. The love he feels for Dean fills him with warmth and happiness. “It’s time to wake up, sweetheart,” Castiel murmurs.

That has Dean squinting one eye open, and his voice is thick with sleep when he says, “Sweetheart?”

Castiel feels color flood his cheeks and rolls away to start the coffee. “I apologize. I didn’t mean to say that,” he explains awkwardly. Dean doesn’t respond, and Castiel busies himself with the coffee machine. It’s one of those fancy one cup thingies, so it only takes a minute for the water to heat up and the coffee to come out before Castiel can bring it Dean.

Dean has made it into a sitting position, so Castiel hands him his mug before he goes back to make himself a cup. He finds individual creamers in the mini fridge, and adds two to his coffee along with sugar. Still feeling slightly embarrassed about calling Dean sweetheart, he chooses to prop his hip on the table to drink his coffee instead of joining Dean back in their bed.

“What’re you doing all the way over there?” Dean says once some coffee has worked its way to his brain.

Castiel gives a one shoulder shrug and says, “Drinking my coffee.”

The corners of Dean’s mouth turn downwards but he shrugs in return. “’Kay. You uh, wanna take a dip in the pool before breakfast?”

Castiel’s mood improves thinking of being back in the water with Dean. “Yes, I would like that.”

“Good,” Dean nods. He drains his cup and says, “Ever since Florida, I keep our suits in the bottom of our bag. Apparently, I’m sentimental,” Dean jokes.

Castiel stiffens again. “Right. Sentimental, but not okay with terms of endearment. Got it,” he says.

Dean’s eyebrows raise and he says, “Somebody woke up in a mood.”

“That’s inaccurate,” Castiel corrects him. “My immediate thought upon waking was how endearing it is that when you let your guard down in your sleep, you wind yourself around me like an octopus. I felt safe, and loved, and filled with warmth. I was lost in thoughts of how sweet it is to have my fiancé need me so much when I slipped up and called you sweetheart. It wasn’t until you embarrassed me for it that my mood turned sour.”

Dean sits with his lips pulled into a tight line for a minute. He knows when Cas starts talking like a dictionary he's pissed. Eventually, he responds, “I didn’t mean to embarrass you, Cas.” When Castiel just continues to stare at Dean he sighs and says, “I’m sorry, okay? Nobody’s ever called me that before. You just surprised me.”

Castiel feels himself softening slightly, but takes a drink of his coffee rather than respond immediately. Dean climbs out of bed and makes his way over to Castiel. Castiel believes the look he’s getting from Dean right now would qualify as “puppy dog eyes” and frankly, it shouldn’t be allowed. Castiel has always found it difficult to hold a grudge against Dean, and this look isn’t helping at all. Dean takes the mug of coffee from Castiel’s hands, and presses his body close to Castiel’s. He slides his hands up Castiel’s chest, and cups the back of his neck, stroking his thumbs over his cheek, and gently forcing Castiel into eye contact.

“Come on, angel. We just got engaged yesterday. Don’t fight with me already,” Dean says softly. “I love you.”

Castiel knows how hard it is for Dean to apologize, and he knows that even now, it isn’t easy for him to express his emotions. So, the effort that Dean is making to soothe Castiel’s hurt feelings is what makes his last shred of irritability melt away. Castiel replies, “I love you, too, Dean. Even when you irritate me,” he says with a small smile.

Dean smiles now, too, and leans in to press their lips together. They both taste like coffee, Dean more bitter than sweet, but when Dean’s tongue presses softly into his mouth, Castiel sinks into it. Dean’s hands make their way into Castiel’s hair, and a sigh escapes through his nose. Dean pulls back, but strokes through his hair one more time. “We okay?” he asks.

“We’re okay,” Castiel confirms.

“Just let me brush my teeth and then we’ll hit the pool, k?”

Castiel leaves on the t-shirt he slept in, and slips into the shorts Dean packed for him. He waits for Dean to come out of the bathroom, and then goes in to select them each a towel to bring down to the pool. He feels silly slipping into his running shoes with no socks on, but he refuses to walk down to the pool barefoot like Dean is.

Likely due to the fact that it’s almost 11:00 on a Monday morning, there isn’t anybody else in the pool when they get there. “Should’a left our suits upstairs,” Dean says with laughter in his eyes.

“I’m still sore from last night,” Castiel admits and he believes the look on Dean’s face now is one of pride, though he at least has the decency to try and hide it.

“Guess I’ll have to take one for the team next time,” Dean jokes and Castiel gives him an amused look before he kicks off his shoes and makes his way to the stairs leading into the pool.

“It smells like chemicals,” Castiel says as he steps into the pool with a wrinkle of his nose.

“That’s to keep it clean when assholes like me pee in the water,” Dean tells him. Castiel gives him a look of disgust and Dean barks out a laugh. “I just pissed upstairs, dude, you’re fine,” Dean promises, still laughing at Castiel’s reaction.

Regardless of Dean being immature and childish, Castiel is still happy to see him so carefree. Not for the first time, he notices how relaxed Dean is in the water. He was like this in Florida too, and Castiel makes a mental note to remember how much water calms him. Castiel isn’t surprised when Dean starts splashing him, and though he still doesn’t enjoy getting water in his face, he plays along and indulges in a water fight with Dean. Dean shows Castiel how to jump off the edge of the pool to do a cannon ball, they race from one end of the pool to the other (Dean wins), and finally Dean says he’s too hungry to keep playing, so they go back up to their room.

They shower the chlorine off of their skin quickly, change into their clothes, and head down to the restaurant inside the hotel to grab some brunch. It's a fancier place than they usually dine in, but it's convenient, so they do it anyway.

They're both surprised when their waiter brings mimosas to their table along with their coffee. He says he was told they're celebrating, and it's on the house. Neither Dean nor Castiel has had a mimosa before, and Castiel discovers that as much as he liked the champagne last night, it tastes even better mixed with orange juice. To be perfectly honest, he's never even tried orange juice before and thinks it's delightful. He leaves his coffee untouched.

When they finish their meal, it's almost checkout time. They pack up their belongings, take one last selfie together in the fanciest hotel room they will likely ever stay in, and then they ride their fancy elevator back down to the lobby and check out at the desk.

When they step out of the hotel doors, Baby is there waiting for them. Dean inspects her closely, and gives a nod of approval along with a $20 tip for treating her right. To avoid anybody seeing anything they shouldn't, Dean tosses their bags into the back seat instead of the trunk, and then he climbs behind the wheel.

They drive in silence until Dean hits the highway, and then he says, "I'm actually kinda lookin' forward to goin' home for once," Dean says.

Castiel wonders about the 'for once' part, but simply replies, "Me, too. As fancy as that hotel was, I still seem to sleep best in our bed," Castiel agrees.

"Our bed," Dean repeats. "Has a nice ring to it, huh?"

Castiel smiles. "I like it. Sam mentioned we should let him know when we're coming home. I'll send him a text message to tell him we're on our way," Castiel says as he pulls his phone out from his pocket.

"Probably wants to know when he has to put it back in his pants," Dean teases.

"With Claire there, I certainly hope that isn't the case," Castiel reminds him.

"Hah! Yah, shit, I forgot she was waiting for us, too. If Donna's still there we'll have the most company we've ever had in the bunker at all once."

"I'm looking forward to seeing Donna again, so I do hope she's still there," Castiel says.

"You guys did kinda hit it off, huh?"

"I found her easy to talk to. And she was kind to me. People usually aren't." 

Castiel says it like it's no big deal, but Dean can tell by the tight expression on his face that it is.

"I wonder what Sammy's up to with her," Dean says to change the subject.

"They seem to enjoy each other's company," Castiel says easily.

"Yah, but it's not like he can be with her," Dean says.

"Why not?"

"Pfft. Okay. Who would want to give up a normal life to live with us?" Dean says unkindly.

"I did," Castiel replies.

"You didn't exactly have a normal life, Cas," Dean reminds him.

"That's not true. While it isn't considered normal _to you_ , my life had remained unchanged for the majority of my existence before I was assigned to you. My life in Heaven was normal for an angel. I gave up my family, my home, and my job because I love you. I chose to travel, to hunt, to live in a bunker underground, all just so I could be with the man I love. I don't know why Sam wouldn't be able to find somebody to do the same for him."

Dean's quiet for a few minutes, thinking over Cas said before he replies, "Don't deserve you, Cas."

"I think you do," Castiel says lightly. "And when the right girl comes along for Sam, whether it's Donna or somebody else, she will be willing to give enough to make it work for them, just as we did for us."

"Like _you_ did for us, you mean. I didn't give up nothin," Dean says with a pout.

"You certainly did. You've stopped drinking heavily like you were before. You've stopped picking up random women from bars. You've stopped seeking out a different case every day with no downtime in between. You let me into your home and created a nice space for us to call our own. You've also made great strides towards talking about your feelings, and you've obviously gotten over your previous fear of commitment since you 'put a ring on it'." Dean smiles like Castiel wanted him to and says, "Don't try to sell yourself short to me, Dean Winchester. I believe I know your worth much better than you do." He finishes by placing his hand on top of Dean's on the seat between them.

"Yah, yah," Dean says in an attempt to brush off the things he's feelings, but his voice is thick with emotion and Castiel knows he has gotten through to him at least somewhat. He isn't prepared for what he says next, though.

"I want Sammy to have what we have. I want him to be happy, ya know? And since I know it can't ever happen for us, I really want him to pop out a couple of kids for me to play with," Dean says.

"I didn't realize you thought children were completely off the table for us," Castiel says quietly.

Dean's head whips towards Castiel nervously and he says, "Well. I mean. Neither of us could make our own babies. Obviously. And since I'm wanted by the police all over the United States and you don't even have a social security number... plus, we don't have an actual home or you know, real jobs... there's no way we could ever adopt." Dean glances back at Cas and sees him deflate like a balloon. He's seen Cas blush, but he's never seen him look pale before right now. He squeezes his hand and says, "I'm sorry, angel. I thought you knew."

"I -" Castiel's voice cracks on the first syllable, so he clears his throat and tries again "I never brought it up because I didn't think it was something you wanted."

"I've always liked kids. Always thought my life was too fucked up to have any, but the last few weeks... well, I'd be lying to ya if I said I never day dreamed about a smart mouthed little boy with a dark mop of crazy hair and crazy blue eyes to match yours," Dean says sadly.

"I want that, too," Castiel says, voice full of emotion.

"Shit, Cas," Dean says, heart breaking for both of them. He brings Cas's hand to his mouth and kisses the back of it. "I dunno how we could ever make it happen. But if I ever find a way, I will, okay? I uh. Crap. I'd really like to have a family with you. Someday."

They both know Dean's eyes are brimming with tears, but neither of them mention it. He lets go of Castiel's hand to wipe at his face and huffs out a breath. "I dunno if I'm happy crying or sad crying," he admits.

"I understand the sad, but I'm not comprehending the happy part," Castiel says. 

"I'm gonna keep fucking crying," Dean says with a harsh laugh. He takes a deep breath and says, "Uh. Before you. I never thought I'd be a good enough dad to admit I wanted to have kids." He sniffles. "My dad fucked me up pretty good and for a long time I thought if I had the chance to be a dad I'd do the same thing. But uh. You, uh, you make me feel like I might not screw it all up. Like I might be good enough, ya know."

Castiel removes his seat belt and scootches over on to the middle seat. He buckles that belt around his waist, and kisses Dean on the cheek before he lays his head on Dean's shoulder, and holds his hand between both of his. It's as close as he can be to Dean right now, and God Himself couldn't pull him away if he tried. Hearing that Dean is beginning to see that he's capable of doing good things is a dream come true for Castiel. "You are more than good enough. You would be a wonderful father, Dean."

"Yah?" Dean asks with another sniffle and a watery smile.

"There's not a doubt in my mind," Castiel reassures him.

"I love you, man," Dean says, and he squeezes Cas's hand again. After another deep breath in, he says, "I think I'm ready for my vagina now."

Castiel's shoulders start shaking with laughter and then Dean's do, too, and both of them are filled with a sense of ease again.

The remainder of the drive home goes by without incident. Sam texts again when they're only 10 minutes away and asks how close they are. Castiel replies and Dean shakes his head at his brother's weird behaviour. It's with a sigh of relief that Dean pulls Baby into the parking garage and parks her beside Claire's old beat up car. He looks and sees Donna's car and when he points it out to Cas, Cas perks up. They each grab a bag but Dean stops Cas before they walk through the door.

"I have a feeling we are about to be bombarded with hugs from Samantha and girly questions from the other two, and we probably won't get another minute alone together for hours. So uh, I just wanted to say that I had a lot of fun hunting with you, and, well, fuck it. Last night was a dream come true, Cas. I'm freaking pumped that we're gonna get married."

Castiel smiles wide and answers, "Me too." He leans in to seal their lips together, and though their hands are full, they still press their bodies together, and when Castiel finally comes back to his senses enough to pull away, they're both breathing hard and flustered.

"We're continuing this later," Dean says and Cas smiles his consent. "Awesome," Dean says more to himself than to Cas as he turns to push open the door.

The cocky smile falls from his face, and he damn-near has a heart attack when he hears a loud shout of, "SURPRISE!" come from inside the bunker.


	24. Chapter 24

Dean likes to think he’s a pretty tough guy, and he doesn’t think there’s a hell of a lot that would surprise him anymore. But he damn near hit the ceiling when he opened the door to the bunker and he heard a call of “SURPRISE!” come from inside.

“What the f-“

Dean is interrupted by an elbow to his side from Cas. He shoots his fiancé a look delivering the entire interrupted thought before he continues down the stairs, and his jaw hits the floor.

The map room is decorated with silver and black streamers, balloons, and centerpieces. There is a big sign hung up with _Congratulations!_ scrawled across it. Even the map table is covered with a silver table cloth. The biggest surprise though, is the room full of people. His eyes scan the room quickly and fall upon Sam and Donna, Claire and Alex, Jody, Donna, Eileen, Garth, and – is that their waitress from that diner in Florida, Jennifer?

“What’s happening?” Cas asks Dean quietly.

“It’s a surprise engagement shower!” Sam says loudly as he rushes over to throw his arms around Dean. “Congratulations,” he says happily.

“I’m going to kill you in your sleep,” Dean mutters against his shoulder, low enough that only Sam can hear him.

Sam just laughs and then goes to hug Cas. “Congratulations, man,” he says before he pulls away. He leaves his hands on his shoulders when he says, “Welcome to the family. Officially.”

Castiel feels his throat clog with emotion, but he manages to say, “Thank you, Sam. That means a great deal to me.”

Sam takes a step away from both Cas and Dean and stands in front of the group of people waiting there. “I’m sure everybody wants to get their hugs in, but before we do that, I want to take every opportunity I have to embarrass my big brother.” Dean gives him the finger and everybody laughs. “So we’re going to start this shower off with a little game.”

“I don’t _do_ games,” Dean says seriously.

“Don’t be a dick. Humour me,” Sam says. The room breaks out into several jeers of, “Come on!” “Don’t be a pussy!” “Do it!” before Dean finally waves them away and nods his agreement. “Okay, okay,” Sam says, quieting everybody down. “Here’s the game. You’re going to sit in these chairs back to back so you can’t see one another, and I’m going to ask you a series of questions. You’re gonna hold these,” Sam says as he pulls what looks like four ping pong paddles, “and when the answer to the question is Dean, you hold up the D paddle, and when the answer to the question is C, you hold up the C paddle. When you two match five questions, you’re done. Get it?”

“What’s the point of this?” Castiel asks as he’s led to a chair.

“Fun,” Donna tells him with a wink.

“Okay, first question: Who is the better kisser?”

Dean feels his cheeks heat up, but he raises the D paddle with a smirk.

Sam snorts out a laugh and says, “There’s your first match, love birds.”

Dean widens his smirk and says, “Like it was even a question.” His friends laugh.

“Next question: Who’s cuddlier?”

Dean raises the C paddle, and the crowd laughs.

“Seems like you disagree on this one,” Sam says and Dean spins enough to see Cas holding the D paddle in the air.

“Are you kidding me?” Dean says to Cas.

“You wind yourself around me like a rope in your sleep,” Castiel explains.

Dean’s cheeks redden again when he hears his friends laugh and he says, “That doesn’t count, I’m not even conscious!”

“Okay, okay, break it up,” Sam laughs, and Dean turns back around in his chair. “Next question: Who’s the bottom in the relationship?”

“DO NOT RAISE YOUR HAND, CAS.” Dean says immediately as the room breaks into laughter. “Fuck you, Sammy,” he says and Sam can’t hold in his own laughter.

“That was a joke, relax,” he says, still laughing. “Actual question: Who made the first move in your relationship?”

Dean rolls his eyes and holds up the D paddle. “Another match,” Sam says.

“This is really educational,” Claire says conversationally. “I would’ve guessed Castiel.”

“Next question: Who is more physically attractive?”

Dean holds up the C paddle, and there is a collective, “Awwww,” from the crowd.

“You two are adorable,” Donna says from beside Sam.

“You both agree the other is more attractive, but it’s still not a match,” Sam says. “Next question: Who is more romantic?”

Dean holds up the D paddle and Sam says, “We have a match! Two more matches and you’re done,” Sam says.

“Thank God,” Dean mutters.

“Dean is _romantic_?” Jody asks, surprised.

“I know, right?” Claire says.

“Can the peanut gallery keep their comments to themselves?” Dean says to them. Claire pretends to zip her lips and Dean rolls his eyes at her for good measure.

“Who is more likely to cry during a sad movie?”

Dean looks annoyed, but he holds up the D paddle, and there is muffled laughter. He sticks his tongue out at them.

“Another miss. You guys could be here all day at this rate,” Sam jokes.

Dean turns again to see Cas with the C paddle in his hand. “I’ve never seen you cry at a movie,” Dean says accusingly.

Cas turns to face him and says, “I didn’t think you’d admit in front of your friends that you do,” he explains.

Dean’s eyes soften before he says, “Okay, you’re off the hook. Just tell the truth now though.” Cas nods.

“I’ve learned more about Dean in the last five minutes than I have in the last five years, I have,” Donna says in her southern drawl, and everybody nods their agreement. Dean points a finger at her and she raises her hands in surrender, but she doesn’t look like she means it.

“Next question: Who says ‘I’m sorry’ first?”

Dean holds up the C paddle and there is a small sound of laughter from his friends.

“No surprise there,” Eileen quips quietly.

Dean turns to face her and says, “I heard that.”

“Duh. _I’m_ the deaf one, remember?” she replies, and the room laughs.

“One more match and you’re done,” Sam reminds them. “Who will cry at your wedding?”

Dean’s heart flips in his chest at the word _wedding_ , but then he smiles as he holds up both paddles.

“You’re cheating!” Jody accuses them.

“Sam never said they can’t use both,” Garth argues.

“And even if they’re cheating, they matched!’ Claire says.

“Okay, fine. You match. Congratulations, you’re off the hook for now,” Sam says.

“Finally!” Dean says, and he stands from his seat.

“I’ll go put our bags away,” Cas says, and he grabs them and disappears down the hall.

Dean is surrounded by Donna, Jody, Claire, and Alex almost instantly. He accepts a hug and congratulations from each of them, and he’s smiling pretty big. Feels good to have so many people happy for him. Claire takes his hand and pulls it towards her, zeroing in on his ring. “Wait a minute. I thought you proposed to Castiel?”

“I did,” Dean says and pulls his hand away from her with a tug.

“What’s with the ring then?” she asks.

Dean shrugs a shoulder, “He was gonna ask me, I guess, but I beat him to it.”

“That is the cutest thing I’ve ever heard,” Alex says.

“I told you they’re like that,” Claire reminds her.

“Still. Big Bad Dean. Never saw it coming,” Alex replies.

“I’m still Big Bad Dean,” Dean protests.

“You’re really not,” Alex argues.

“Now the world knows you’re really just a big, snuggly teddy bear,” Claire says with a head-tilt that reminds him too much of Cas.

“Oh, bite me,” Dean says, annoyed. “Get lost,” he says and Alex and Claire walk away hand in hand.

“Aren’t teenagers the best?” Jody says sarcastically.

“You deserve an award for dealing with that all the time,” Dean grumbles.

“Don’t have to tell me,” Jody jokes. “Since when are you gay anyway? I can’t believe you never told me!”

“I’m not gay,” Dean says automatically. “Maybe bi,” he concedes, “but I kinda just figured it out. Besides, it’s not like I was gonna sit down and have a heart to heart with you about it.”

Jody smacks him upside the back of head before she says, “Well, you _could,_ you know.”

Dean makes a gesture that he hopes delivers the _what the fuck_ he was just thinking, and then Donna and Jody walk away together, leaving him standing there alone for a second. He gives the room a sweep looking for Cas, and when he doesn’t see him anywhere, he goes to see if he’s in their room still. He is. When Dean gets there, Cas is just sitting on the end of the bed, seemingly staring at the wall.

“Hey, what’re you doin, Cas?” Dean asks, concerned. He goes to sit beside him on the bed, placing his hand on Cas’s lower back. Cas shrugs. “Are you hiding in here?”

Cas seems to search Dean’s face before he says, “I may be.”

“What’s the matter?” Dean asks.

“I don’t know anybody,” Cas says.

“What? Yah you do! You know Sam, and Donna, and Jen, and Claire.”

“But all the others are strangers. I had to sit in front of them and give personal details about our relationship. It made me feel… strange.”

“I’m sorry, angel,” Dean says, and he pulls Cas closer so that Cas rests his head on Dean’s shoulder. “These people… they’re like my family. They’re the only friends I have left that are still alive,” he says. “I’ve told them all so much about you that I just felt like you all knew each other.”  
  
Cas picks his head up. “You… talk to them about me?”

“All the time!”

“We weren’t even together,” Cas says, clearly confused.

“And? You’ve been my best friend for years, Cas. You think the only friends I have haven’t heard about you? They’re probably all gonna tell me they knew I liked you before I did,” he jokes.

Cas smiles at that. “Alright. I would like to meet your family, then.”

“Good, let’s go introduce you around,” Dean says. He stands and holds a hand out for Cas. Cas reaches out and Dean pulls him to his feet. He keeps pulling until Cas falls forward slightly, and then Dean steadies him by his shoulders, only to pull him in even closer to press their lips together. The kiss is soft and sweet, the perfect gesture of comfort that Cas needs from him. Dean can’t stop himself from lingering, changing the angle until Cas’s mouth opens for him automatically, and then Dean loops his arms around Cas’s neck, fingers brushing against the hair on the back of his neck.

“Uh, hello?” they hear from the hallway, and they both turn to see Eileen standing there. “You know you have a room full of people looking for you, right?”

Dean drops his hands so that he can lace his fingers with Cas’s. “Where’d you look before here?”

She smiles, “I went for the obvious,” she says. As she talks, she signs.

“I just realized you two haven’t met before. Cas, this is Eileen. She is a badass hunter who helped us on a case a few years ago. Eileen, this is Castiel.”

Cas lets go of Dean’s hand to flawlessly sign along as he says, “Pleasure to meet you.”

He holds out his hand to shake hers and she shakes it with a wide smile. “You know ASL?” she asks.

“I do,” he answers. “I know many languages.”

“Very cool,” Eileen says.

“See, you made a friend already,” Dean says. “Cas was feeling a little weird because he didn’t know anybody,” he explains to Eileen.

“We can stick together if you want,” she offers. “I only know Sam and Dean, too.”

“I would like that,” Cas replies. “Thank you for being so kind.”

“Any friend of Dean’s is a friend of mine,” she says.

“See? I told you. Family.” Dean says with a smile. “Let’s go meet everybody else. I can introduce you, too,” he says to Eileen.

“I can interpret for you if you want,” Cas says as they make their way back down the hallway.

“I’m pretty good at reading lips, but if I need you I’ll let you know,” she says.

“As if you know sign language,” Dean says under his breath as they walk the hallway.

“I know every language,” Cas replies. “Or at least enough to communicate.”

“Hmmm,” Dean says.

“What?” Cas replies.

“You’ll have to talk dirty to me in a foreign language sometime,” Dean says.

“You are insufferable,” Cas says.

“You love me,” Dean says back as they step back into the map room.

“We were looking for you!” Sam says. “Where’d you go?”

“They were just showing me around,” Eileen says smoothly, and Dean sees the extra flutter of her eyelashes.

Sam goes a little pink in the face before he says, “I should’ve done that before. Sorry.”

She smiles adoringly at him and they seem to look each other in the eye a little longer than is completely necessary before Dean interrupts, “Just realized we forgot to show her the uh, telescope room.”

“Would you like to see it?” Sam asks.

“I’d love to,” Eileen agrees. She gives Dean a cheeky wink before she follows Sam back down the hallway.

“I always thought he liked her,” Dean says to Cas.

“Isn’t Sam with Donna?” Cas asks.

Dean shrugs. “All I know is they’re having sex. No idea what kinda arrangement they have going on.” Cas doesn’t say anything so Dean walks over to introduce him to Garth. It’s slightly more awkward because Garth is an awkward kinda guy, but Cas returns his hugs (Dean loses count how many) each time so he doesn’t think it goes that bad. They see Donna and Jen standing together laughing, so Dean approaches them next.

“If it isn’t my two favourite ladies in all of Florida state,” Dean flirts.

Jen rolls her eyes at him and looks right past him to Cas. “He’s still flirting with everything that moves?”

Cas laughs and replies, “Only with the really beautiful women these days.”

She gives him a soft smile and says, “He’s rubbing off on you.”

“As often as I can,” Dean interjects and all of them laugh at his joke.

Jennifer gives Cas a hug, and Dean too, after she warns him to keep his hands to himself with a wag of her finger.

“Did you two know each other before coming here?” Cas asks.

“Yah, Jen does some shifts on the Beer Bus when it’s crazy in the summer,” Donna says.

“Small world,” Dean says.

“Weird world. Why do you live in an underground bunker, anyway?” Jen asks.

Shit. Dean didn’t think of this. “It’s kinda a family thing,” Dean tries.

“That’s what Sam said, too. Weird ass family heirloom,” she says.

“But badass!” Donna exclaims.

Dean smirks. “It is pretty badass,” he agrees.

“I can’t believe you guys are getting married!” Jen gushes. “I wonder what would have happened if Sam didn’t lie to me the first time you tried to pick me up,” she jokes.

“What?” Dean says, confused.

She laughs. “He never told you, huh? He told me you and Cas were together before you actually were. That’s why I shot you down that first night. I thought you were being a total asshole flirting with me in front of your boyfriend.”

“He what!?” Dean says. “What a fucking cockblock!” Cas elbows him and Dean smiles sheepishly at him. “Not that it didn’t turn out okay,” he adds.

Donna laughs, “A date goes _okay_. I think when you’re engaged after a few weeks it worked out more than okay,” she says.

“Yah yah, get off my balls,” Dean says and Cas shakes his head at him.

“Forgive my fiancé’s crass language, ladies,” Cas says for him.

Dean can’t help it. He gets a great big dopey smile on his face when he hears Cas call him _fiancé_. “I like the sounds of that,” he says.

“The crass language?” Cas deadpans.

“Don’t be a dick,” Dean laughs.

“You like hearing me call you my fiancé?” Cas checks.

Dean nods. He turns to the ladies and says, “Will you excuse me a moment?” in an over the top polite voice. “I need to make out with my fiancé now.”

And he does. In the corner of the room, in front of everybody he loves most in the world, he pulls Cas towards him and kisses him for all he’s worth. Cas protests with little sounds and tries to break away more than once, but eventually gives in and kisses him back. They are finally interrupted by Jody calling out, “Who wants cake?”

Dean pulls away with a loud sucking noise and says, “Cake?”

“Knew that would work,” Jody says to the room at large and everybody laughs.

“We got you pie, too,” Sam adds. “Let’s dig in.”

They didn't _just_ get pie, they got a whole buffet of mini pies! Dean's practically drooling as he reads all the flavours marked on top of the little boxes: apple, strawberry-rhubarb, blueberry, lemon, banana creme, butterscotch, vanilla. There has to be 50 pies here! 

"Where'd you get so many pies?” Dean asks, excitedly.

"A bakery," Sam says like it's the stupidest question he ever heard. 

"This is amazing," Dean says happily. 

"The cake is mostly for Cas. Chocolate cake with strawberry filling," Sam says. 

Cas perks up. "That sounds delicious."

"I'm having one of every kind," Dean decides. 

Sam huffs out a laugh. "There's no way you can eat seven mini pies."

Dean raises his brow and says, "You're about to see something special."

"Okay, Joey," Sam says in reference to the Friends quote. 

Donna places a hand on Cas's arm. "Do you want me to cut the cake?" she asks. 

"Yes, please," Cas says with a warm smile. 

She does, and serves him a piece. "First piece is for you, handsome," she says. 

"Thank you," he tells her. Castiel thinks not for the first time, there is just something about Donna that puts him at ease. He likes that about her.

Everybody gets some pie or cake, and they all sit around the covered map table. Laughter comes easily and often, and there is never a moment of silence in the room. Somebody always has something to say, and Dean is pleased when Cas is able to get a few words in, too. Dean can see Cas is beginning to loosen up and he scoots his chair a little closer so that he can rest his arm around the back of Cas's chair. Every now and then he finds his hand rubbing Cas's back, brushing through his hair, giving his shoulder a little squeeze, and it all happens without him even having to think about it. 

"I think Cas was right. Dean is the more affectionate one," Claire comments. 

For a split-second Dean considers pulling away from Cas, but then decides, fuck it. It's his engagement party. If he can't love his fiancé here, where can he? 

"I can't keep my hands off of him," Dean says. 

"Okay, ew," Claire responds. 

He smiles at her and she knows that's what he was going for. 

"When we're alone, Alex is the same way," Claire says. 

"Ew," Dean replies in exactly the same way Claire said. She laughs and he gives her a nod of approval, "Well done."

"Can they open their presents now?" Jody asks. "We gotta get back on the road soon."

Dean's brain is going, _presents?_ , but he says, "You have to go tonight?"

"Gotta work tomorrow. Got somebody to cover my shift today but I gotta go back for tomorrow. Duty calls," she explains. 

"I'm staying for a couple more days if it makes you feel any better," Claire says with a twinkle in her eye. 

"Oh goodie," Dean says and she laughs. 

"Donna, can you give me a hand with the gifts?" Sam asks. 

"We'll be right back," she says mostly to Cas.

"It wasn't necessary for you to buy us gifts," Cas says to the table. 

"Forget about it," the other Donna says. "We're more than happy to celebrate our Dean finally settling down." 

"I'm not one of sunshine and rainbow types, and even I can see how much happier Dean is," Jody adds. "Hardly ever saw him smile if it wasn't because of food."

"I haven't exactly had a lot to smile about," Dean says. He's about to elaborate before he remembers Jen doesn't know about what they do. 

He catches her eye and she says, "You were both plenty smiley in Florida. Guess I got to see the "after" Dean," she says lightly. "I've been dying to ask how you popped the question. You were so sweet when you told him you loved him the first time, I'm sure the proposal was amazingly romantic." 

"Woah, woah. Back up to the love thing," Claire says. 

"You didn't tell them?" Jen says, surprised. 

"Not exactly the kinda thing I'm gonna go advertising," Dean says with a roll of his eyes. 

"You guys. It was the sweetest thing. I barely even knew the guy, and he comes over to me all serious-like, and asks me if I know somewhere he can watch a good sunset in private -"

"We come bearing gifts!" Sam says as he walks back into the room. 

Dean takes in the pile of gifts in Sam's arms and says, "Holy shit! Jackpot!"

"This is so kind of you all," Cas says seriously, sitting up straighter in his chair. 

"Wait until you see what it is before you go thanking us," Jody jokes.

Dean's eyes narrow but Cas shakes his head, "These boxes could be filled with sand and I'd still be thankful for the gesture."

"How cute is he?" Dean says in Jen's direction.

"Don't think I'm not gonna blab your story as soon as you're done opening," Jen says. 

"What was that? I can't hear you over the pile of presents in front of me," Dean replies in an overly loud voice. 

"She said -"

Dean shoots him a look and Cas's face breaks on a big smile. "You fucking with me?" Dean says and Cas nods. Dean leans in to place a peck on his lips and hears a chorus of, "Awwww" around him again. "Really guys? Every time?"

"Shut up and open a present already," Claire says. 

"If you insist," Dean says, and he grabs the gift closest to him. It's a large box, but it isn't very heavy. He checks the tag, "From Jody," he says. He rips the paper open in seconds and then lifts the flaps of the box. Inside are two fluffy, white bath towels. He lifts them and breaks out in a laugh. He holds them up so Cas can see the embroidery on them, and he explains, "His and His towels. His and Hers towels are kinda a thing you get at weddings and shit, so this is kinda funny since they're his and his."

Cas smiles politely, "Thank you, Jody. We could use these in our bathroom."

"I bet you could," she says with a wink and Cas flushes furiously. 

Dean rolls his eyes and grabs the next gift. It's in a small gift bag and hardly weighs anything at all. "From Donna Hanscum," Dean says aloud and nods towards her so Cas knows which one. He lifts some tissue paper out of the way and throws his head back and laughs as he pulls out a pair of edible underwear. He hears a sound of disgust come from Claire's direction, and that only adds to how funny this is. He turns them towards Cas and Cas's eyebrows draw together in confusion and then he opens his eyes wide, comically. 

"I understand," he says seriously to Dean and Dean lowers them to keep digging in the bag. 

Dean comes up with a small envelope. He opens it and says, "A gift card to Passionate Kisses." Everybody laughs except for Cas. "It's uh, a store that sells sex toys and stuff."

Cas nods seriously and says, "I'm sure we will enjoy using that." 

Dean snorts and says, "Thanks, perv," in Donna's direction. 

"You're welcome, honey," she says with a laugh. 

Garth gives them a gift card for McDonald's (and another hug for each of them), explaining that all he knows about Dean is that he likes to hunt and he likes burgers. Dean can't argue with that, and who doesn't like McDick's anyway? So, he thanks him and goes to the next gift, which is a large gift bag. It's from Jen. Dean digs to the bottom of the bag, and the first thing he pulls out is a jar of what looks like jam. She must see the look of confusion on his face because she says, "It's the strawberry topping Cas liked so much on his waffles," she explains. 

Cas's mouth drops. "That is such a kind gesture. Thank you, Jen," he smiles. 

"That's it. He's officially my favourite customer," Jen replies to the room in general, and there's laughter in response.

The next thing Dean pulls out is a painting on a small canvas. Dean recognizes it immediately. She has drawn the little nest of blankets, the candles, and the view Cas and Dean had of the sunset the night Dean told Cas he loved him the first time. 

"Did you paint this?" Cas asks, taking it from Dean's hands to examine it more closely. 

"Yep. Just something I do for fun," she says. 

"It's amazing," Cas breathes. He can feel his eyes mist over as he remembers that night, and when he looks up to meet her eyes to thank her again, he knows she can see it by the look on her face. "You're very talented. Thank you for capturing one of the best moments of my life perfectly. I will always treasure this."

"Oh my God, come here," she says as she gets out of her seat to come around the table to hug Cas. Cas lets her, and wraps his arms around her tightly, too. 

"Thank you, truly," Cas says again softly so only she can hear. 

She pulls away and sniffles loudly. "If you don't marry him, I will!" 

"He's taken, lady," Dean says in a mock-threatening way. 

"It's still nice to have options," Cas replies and the room laughs at his joke. 

"Yah, yah, very funny. What's next?"

"Looks like this is the last one. Why don't you let Cas open one, jerk?" Sam says. 

"That's okay, Dean's enjoying this," Cas says. "You go ahead."

Dean gives his brother a smirk before he starts ripping the paper off of the next gift. 

"Who is this from?" Cas asks. 

"No tag," Dean replies. He knows as soon as he sees the gift though. "It's from Donna," he says. He pulls out two six packs of beer. One, the Red Ale he liked from the Beer Bus, and one the Blueberry Wheat Ale Cas liked so much. 

"There's another six pack for each of you in the fridge already," she says. 

"I think I'm in love," Dean says. 

"Thank you, Donna. I enjoyed the blueberry beer very much," Cas says. 

"You're very welcome," she smiles. 

"Here's ours," Claire says as she stands and throws a card towards them like a frisbee. 

Dean tears into the envelope and pulls out the piece of paper inside. It's a gift certificate for a photographer. 

"I have this friend who does really cute engagement sessions. Thought you two losers would like something like that," Claire explains. 

"Shit," Dean says. "This is too much. I know this shit ain't cheap, Claire."

She shakes her head, "No, she gave us a good deal. It's okay, I promise."

"I never would have thought to do something like this. It's uh, a really nice gift, guys. Thank you," Dean says awkwardly. 

"Thank you, Claire, and Alex," Cas says. 

“It was all Claire,” Alex says, “but you’re welcome.”

"Mine's last," Sam says and he throws him a card much like Claire threw hers. 

Dean rips into it and pulls out another piece of paper. "Better not be for pictures," Dean jokes. But when he opens it, he freezes. He looks up at his brother and sees a small smile on his face. "This is too much," Dean says. 

Cas reaches over to see what it is. A gift certificate for the hotel they just came back from. In the name, "Dean and Castiel Winchester".

"It's for your wedding night," Sam says with a smile. "Doesn't expire. You can use it whenever. You guys deserve something nice. Plus, I assume there's memories there - but I don't want to hear about them!" He adds quickly. 

Dean smiles wide at him and stands to give him a hug. "Thanks, man," he says gruffly. 

"You're welcome. I love you, Dean," Sam whispers. 

Dean doesn't say it often enough, so he fights down the embarrassment and says, "Love you too, Samantha." That's as good as it's gonna get.

Donna went and got them the cold beer from the fridge and they both open a can while they talk some more with their friends. Dean drags Sam away privately and explains that Cas doesn’t feel comfortable playing more games in front of everybody, so that put an end to that, thank God. 

Soon, people start coming to say their goodbyes. Dean knows without a doubt this is the most hugs he's ever given or received in one day, and he feels strangely okay with it. Everybody congratulates them again, says again how happy they are for both of them, and Dean hears for the umpteenth time how good it is to see him happy. Cas is disappointed that Donna has to leave too, but she promises to visit again soon and that makes him feel a little bit better. 

Before Dean knows it, it's just him, Cas, Sam, and Claire left in the bunker. 

"Not to put a damper on this or anything, but was I the only one thinking about everybody who wasn't here that should have been?" Sam asks. 

"Like who?" Claire asks. 

"People we've lost," Dean says. He starts his mental list. "Mom and dad."

"Bobby," Sam adds. 

"Ellen and Jo," Dean says. 

"They all would have been so happy for you," Sam says. 

Dean sniffles but doesn't say anything. 

"Charlie," he finally adds, voice cracking. "She was like my little sister." He looks at Claire. "Kinda like you, kid."

She smiles sadly. "My mom and dad," she adds. 

Dean feels Cas stiffen beside him but only for a moment. 

"Gabriel and Balthazar," Cas says. "Hannah."

"I always secretly liked Gabriel, even if he was a total dick," Dean says with a smile. 

"He liked you, too," Cas assures him. 

There's silence for a minute, and Dean knows he could stop talking now and this conversation would be done. But he's been needing to talk about this for a fucking decade, and for some reason, he feels like he actually can now.

"I go days without thinking of them, ya know? Then something reminds me of one of them and I think about telling them about it, and then I remember they're gone and it just hits me all over again," Dean says gruffly. 

Cas moves his chair closer to Dean and takes a hold of the hand he isn't curling around his beer can. 

"I do the same thing," Sam says sadly. 

"So many people died because of us," Dean chokes out, the familiar hate bubbling inside of him. 

"Not _because_ of us. _For_ _us_. There's a difference," Claire says sternly. "My mom died for me, not because of me."

"She did," Cas agrees softly, torn between wanting to go to her and staying with Dean. Thankfully, Sam crosses the room to stand beside her and she wraps her arm around his waist for support. 

"Every one of them died for us to make sure we had a better life. They died for us to give us a chance at the kind of life you and Cas are starting to build together, Dean. This is _exactly_ what they wanted for us," Sam says. "I know I already said it, but you gotta know they'd be so unbelievably happy for you guys."

Dean feels some of the hate inside of him fade away. For the first time, he feels like he might actually have a life that's worth dying for. Now he knows they didn't all die just for _him_ to die alone and miserable later on. He still wishes he could have every single one of them back, but at least what he has now is what they all wanted for him. 

"I still miss them. Fuck, I miss them so much. But I uh, I get what you're saying. I have something that was worth dying for now," he says with a meaningful look at Cas, then his eyes settle on Sam for a minute, and finally move to Claire. He gives her a small smile. "I have a real family again." 

"Sounds like a toast," Sam says. Cas surprises them all when he slides an unopened beer can Claire's way across the table. 

She opens it without a word and holds it up, "To having something to live for," she says, completely turning Dean's words around on him, and putting a positive spin on the end of what they all know will be the only conversation they ever have about this. 

Dean feels tears in his eyes again, and sees that all of them do. They shake it off and then almost at exactly the same time, they all echo, "To having something to live for."

Dean sits in the only home he's ever known, surrounded by the three people he loves most in the world, drinking beer from the place he and Cas fell in love, and he realizes that everything these three people are is everything he will ever need. It feels like he’s all the way back to where he belongs.

It feels like home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh the feels, guys!!! (I hope you're feeling this as much as I was writing it!)
> 
> This is the end of the main story. I can't believe it.
> 
> There's going to be some time stamps added eventually. We need a conclusion to the angel/human decision for Cas, and I think we all wanna see the wedding, and I know I wanna see Cas get his garden.
> 
> I already know how it's all going to happen, so I'm excited to share it with you soon.
> 
> As always, thank you for for supporting me and inspiring me to keep writing. I can't tell you how thankful I am for all of you!
> 
> Until next time...
> 
> Tricia


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